DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the context of a world filled with major problems, this one is quite minor, but the question has galled me for many years, and I would love some professional feedback.

I am a voracious reader, but for a long time now, and for various reasons, almost all my book "reading" is done by listening to audiobooks. Those quotation marks introduce my quandary: Do I use the words "read" or "listened to" when discussing books?

I might be recommending a book to a fellow reader -- "I just read the latest Nancy Drew mystery, and I think you'd love it" -- or adding the contents of a book to a discussion -- "According to a book I read, the aardvark prefers to consume daisies above all flowers." Or I might introduce someone to a book series as part of a friendly conversation: "I read the entire 'History of Flags' series, and it was stunning!"

In all of these scenarios, I didn't, in point of fact, "read" anything. The means of communication was auditory. But "I listened to a great book recently" or "I heard a new author I think you should check out" doesn't fall trippingly off the tongue. Is it misleading to state that I read something when that's not what actually happened?

GENTLE READER: Why not eliminate the verb entirely? "Wittgenstein's 'Tractatus-logico Philosophicus' is really quite a pleasure." Or "The canon of Proust is brilliant. I think you would love it."

Miss Manners assures you, however, that should there be further inquiry into the experience, there is no shame in admitting that it was auditory. Comparing and discussing audiobooks is no less interesting than doing so with bound editions -- especially since many of the latter are now read on devices of some sort, anyway.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have completed a kitchen remodel after my house flooded. I had to do this on a budget because my insurance only paid a small amount.

I think it turned out beautifully. However, whenever guests come over, they comment about the remodel and offer suggestions for things that they wish I had done differently. If it was just one person, I would let it go, but it's a continual problem, and it's always a different suggestion.

It's not like there's one huge eyesore they all point out; these are small things they mention, which are really matters of personal preference.

I believe these people are well-meaning, but after everything I've been through, I am just so glad to be done with my remodel and moving on. Please help me with an appropriate response.

GENTLE READER: "Oh! We never thought of a disco mirrored backsplash. But we were actually really pleased with how the remodel came out ..." -- with enough of a pause afterwards, Miss Manners suggests, that the implied "I am sorry to hear that you think otherwise" remains implied.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After two canceled wedding dates due to the pandemic, my partner and I decided we'd rather get on with it. My grandmother's dementia is only accelerating, and I wanted her to be fully present at my wedding.

My grandmother lives with my lovely aunt out of state. We traveled to their home -- safely keeping to ourselves by camping along the way -- and wed in their backyard. Close friends and family watched via webcam.

My aunt invited a few of her friends to the wedding without informing me. I was a little concerned about safety, but I was more grateful at the time just to be there, getting married. Also, she was the hostess and officiant, so I felt it would be rude to complain.

I did not know these fine folks, and one of them gave us a small, nice gift. After returning home, I asked my aunt for the gift-giver's address to send a thank-you, but she never gave it to me. It has been several months now.

I am bothered that I didn't properly show my appreciation for the gift, and I admit that I cannot recall the person's name any longer. My focus was mostly on my new spouse and stepchild that day, and not the people I had just met.

What is the etiquette when one receives a wedding gift from an unknown, uninvited guest? At this point, am I still obligated to pester my aunt for the giver's address?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but if you cannot help yourself, Miss Manners will permit you to say in the letter, "What a wonderful and unexpected surprise to have you at the wedding. Caitlin and I adore the wonderful cheese grater. I do wish that we had had more time at the wedding, but since you are one of Aunt Lacey's closest friends, I trust that we will see you at another family event soon." As the occasion is unlikely to be repeated, you need not chastise lovely Aunt Lacey for not properly introducing you to her unanticipated friends.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A young couple two houses away announced this summer that they're expecting twins. Although we're not overly friendly, I did purchase two baby blankets. When I saw the husband recently coming out of his garage, I gave him the gift bag with the blankets, saying it was just a little gift to welcome the new arrivals. He thanked me, and I went back into my house.

I've not heard a word since, nor received a thank-you note. It has me wondering if the husband went back into the garage and continued working on his project and forgot all about it.

I guess I'm wondering if, the next time I see the wife, I should casually mention it. Or should I just let it go?

GENTLE READER: Mention it: "Did Joshua ever get those blankets to you? I am afraid that I ambushed him by your garage the other day, but we do so want to commemorate the twins' birth."

Miss Manners feels certain that the next time you come to visit, your present will have been safely rescued from its hiding place underneath the car.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you recommend one responds when the waitstaff refills one's water by touching the lip of the pitcher to the glass?

I don't like to correct people at their jobs, especially those who will be handling my food -- and even less so, those who obviously already lack decent food hygiene. But I have always found this practice disgusting, given that the pitchers are used for different people at different tables. Sometimes the spout of the pitcher even dips into the beverage, contaminating the entire pitcher.

GENTLE READER: People disagree about what constitutes a reasonable level of precaution as regards hygiene (Miss Manners does not offer an opinion on whether they are reasonable people), and etiquette cannot provide for laboratory-sterile conditions in public spaces.

However, it does not need to: If you are unsatisfied with the handling of the common pitcher, do not drink the water, and if you are unsatisfied with the restaurant's cleanliness, do not return.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our home has a detached garage that is connected to the house by a covered breezeway. The garage stall closest to the house was converted into a family room and includes a small bathroom, so this space serves as our guest room when we have visitors. The second garage stall is where I park my car, and it also houses our chest freezer, canned goods and various cooking and cleaning supplies.

The walk-in access to the garage is through the family room, and we are in and out of this space several times each day. When guests are spending the night, we wait until they return to the main house in the morning before entering the family room (after knocking, of course) -- an approach that usually works fine, since most guests start their day long before any of us need access to the garage.

However, we've had guests who treat our family room as if it is their own private suite: emerging closer to lunch than breakfast, or retreating to the family room for an afternoon rest without informing us, thereby blocking access to much-needed household supplies (and my car).

What do you suggest we say or do to make it clear to guests that we need access to our family room throughout the day? I want to respect my guests' need for rest and privacy, but I also want to be able to use my car or retrieve the vacuum when needed. Unfortunately, my attempts to think ahead and retrieve everything I may need from the garage in advance inevitably fail.

GENTLE READER: It would be better to think ahead and explain the situation to your guests in advance, telling them that you need access between breakfast and dinner. Tell them that you can, of course, make arrangements if they need a specific time for, say, a nap.

Miss Manners prefers this to the alternative of pressing your home-court advantage by, for example, disabling the locks.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)