DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please help me understand the polite way to deal with a communication issue with my husband. I feel like he tries to exert dominance over me when he engages me in conversation.

When I'm in another part of the house, he will call something out to me from another room. In order to hear and understand him, I have to stop what I'm doing (even if it's just eating bonbons and scrolling through social media) and go to the room he's in.

This is constant. If I'm washing pots and pans with the water running, and he tries to tell me something, I have to stop washing and turn off the water to hear him and reply.

Is this polite on his part? Shouldn't he wait until I've finished to start a conversation, or at least join me at the sink? Doesn't etiquette require that you get off your lazy a

to speak to your wife?

GENTLE READER: It does. But etiquette also presumes the best in others -- or at least their cluelessness -- before calling them a lazy a

in public.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper etiquette concerning funeral flowers?

Sadly, my sister-in-law was a victim of the COVID pandemic. We ordered the finest flowers we could afford (NOT cheap!), and were glad to see the flowers we ordered at the funeral.

We were all masked and distanced, so my view was from way back. At the end of the service, before I had a chance to get a closer look at all the flowers, the arrangement we purchased was mysteriously GONE!

My husband told me that my sister-in-law's widower told people they could take the flowers. I don't know if someone asked about taking them, or if he made an announcement that they could do so.

I think it is very tacky to take flowers from a funeral. I'm just thankful that my husband was able to see all of the arrangements early, and noticed that my workplace sent flowers, so I knew to express my appreciation to them.

Apparently, this is not a new phenomenon. I recall when my grandmother died, my mother was very upset that my niece swooped down and took ALL of the flowers from the service. I had thought it was an isolated incident by bad actors.

GENTLE READER: If the flowers are offered, it is not impolite for guests to accept. The presumption is that they are better off giving enjoyment to others than wilting at the funeral home.

But you are correct that they should not be absconded with sans permission. And even with permission, Miss Manners adds, a reasonable amount of time -- say, the length of the funeral -- should pass before the offer is acted upon.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We moved into a new neighborhood, and have quickly grown to like our next-door neighbors. My husband has conversed with the wife on many occasions, and until recently, their conversations had been nothing but lovely.

However, she started strongly hinting that my husband should buy me a gift from her health, beauty and home furnishings catalog.

We are firmly opposed to multilevel marketing companies as a whole, but we really value the budding friendship. How can we gently but permanently let her know we are not interested, while indicating we would like to continue to grow our friendship?

GENTLE READER: "Oh, thank you, but we make it a practice to not mix business with pleasure. It can have dastardly results, and we do so value this new friendship." If said correctly, Miss Manners notes, it will only have the faintest hint of a neighborly threat.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I were at a restaurant the other day. While the waitress was pouring our wine, my husband suddenly said to the table nearest us (about 6 feet away), "Can I help you?" in a fairly confrontational way. He was not loud, just mildly aggressive and clearly annoyed.

When I asked him what had happened, he said the man at that table had been staring at him. The man said, "I was just looking at the wine bottle, sorry," and he and his wife went back to eating.

My husband said that the man was clearly drunk and was not looking at the wine bottle, but rather had been staring straight at his face for multiple minutes. My husband had nodded politely, hoping the man maybe didn't realize he was staring; the man nodded back, but kept staring. So finally my husband reacted.

At first, I was really angry with my husband, because I felt horribly awkward and thought that it could have been handled better (or even ignored). After discussing it with him, though, I'm unsure. He said that he was highly uncomfortable and wanted to put a quick end to the staring.

Is there a better way to have dealt with this? We aren't the type to "tell on someone" and have the manager address it.

GENTLE READER: What did your husband think this man really had in mind by staring at him?

Without a plausible answer, Miss Manners is inclined to believe the wine story. Or that the man was trying to figure out if he goes to the same dentist. Or he was thinking about ordering the Chocolate Storm Warning for dessert and wanted to see how your husband was enjoying his.

Being stared at is unpleasant. But unless your husband truly believed that the other man was trying to start something, it is best ignored or only mildly confronted -- a hint less aggressively than was previously enacted.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My dear friend has given my wife and me a subscription to a monthly snack box. Although we are appreciative, the snacks are neither healthy nor enjoyable. In addition, we know this service is quite pricey.

We would never want to hurt her feelings or appear ungrateful, but we also don't want her to continue paying for a subscription that will go largely unused. Is there a tactful way to let her know, and possibly save her the money? Or should we remain silent, pretend to enjoy the gift subscription and offer the items to others?

GENTLE READER: There is really no tactful way to say, "Get better taste." You would therefore do more to preserve the friendship, Miss Manners assures you, to serve the snacks to other guests or bring them to a food bank. Perhaps others will find them, if not healthful, at least more enjoyable.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When confronted with a closed bathroom door, should one knock gently to see if it's occupied, or just try the handle?

I was taught to knock at all closed doors when someone might be inside, under my mother's theory that if someone is in a room with a closed door, they want privacy. If it is a restroom, they definitely want privacy, and it is not unknown for restroom doors to lock insecurely.

However, I have also been told that knocking is rude, and that I should just gently try the handle. I did this yesterday at a restaurant. The door was not locked, and a mother was helping her preschooler wash his hands. I apologized, and she laughed and said that he had just unlocked the door before she grabbed him to make him wash his hands.

Personally, I find someone rattling the door handle to be disconcerting and demanding. I feel as though I really need to hurry that which cannot be hurried, and then wash my hands more quickly than I would usually.

GENTLE READER: Your misguided adviser has one thing right: No one wishes to be startled while conducting their business. But knocking on the door is the polite thing to do.

Miss Manners reminds everyone that there is a vast difference between knocking and banging. Trying the handle seems to her to demonstrate a believable, but unwelcome, impatience. It can also have far worse outcomes than the one you describe.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After college, my fiance passed away due to a chronic illness. We had decided early in our relationship that we didn't want kids.

Some time has passed since his death, and I adopted a dog as a companion. Now, everyone -- from my family and friends (who know I don't want kids) to the vet and trainer (who know nothing about my past) -- refers to me as "mom" when talking to the dog. "Oh, your mom got you a cute collar," etc.

When people call me "mom" in reference to my dog, what can I say instead of politely smiling while holding back tears?

GENTLE READER: The problem can be explained to friends and family, who can be expected to be sympathetic, but explaining your pain to every stranger is neither seemly nor productive.

The vet and trainer were guilty only of childish informality -- they meant no harm, and could not have known their comments would cause pain. (You yourself anthropomorphize the dog when you say you adopted him as a companion.)

But after a loss such as yours, even a silly, well-intended remark can spark a difficult association. This is why mourners used to absent themselves from society for a time, and then to wear black -- it warned others to tread lightly.

Now that neither practice is followed, the best you can do is not to try and pretend your mood is lighter than it is -- and to excuse yourself when you need a moment to compose yourself.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)