DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I were watching the news when our adult daughter called on the landline. My wife answered, and I muted the TV as she returned to her chair for what ended up being a 15-minute conversation.

When she ended the call, she saw that I was a little annoyed. She asked why, and I said that I thought she was being rude by having that one-sided chat -- she didn’t either leave the room or put the call on speaker so I could participate.

She said she didn’t see the rudeness, and that I could have taken the TV off mute while she continued to talk on the phone. When I asked her to look at it from my perspective, she said she still didn’t see the rudeness.

The rest of the evening was pretty frosty. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: That, like many homebound people during the pandemic, you and your wife are going stir-crazy. There is no reason that so trivial a domestic conflict should have turned your evening frosty.

You list the measures your wife could have taken, but Miss Manners has a similar list for you: You could have gestured that you wanted to be part of the conversation or that she should take the call in another room. Or you could have turned the television sound on low -- just loud enough to have driven her out of the room.

Please tell your wife that you don’t know why you were so upset, so that she can say the same to you. Domestic peace must be restored.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a church-group friend with whom I share a weekly social video visit. We are retired, have much in common, are generous in helping each other, and laugh a lot.

However, now that her political party is out of power, she has been interrupting me often, and she patronizes me if I respond to her diatribes with civility and kindness. She has made presumptuous and negative statements that I consider verbally abusive.

She has said that I am told what to think and do, while she has the actual facts. This, to a woman with an international career and a daily habit of scanning the news in six international papers, in two languages!

I feel that she has now expressed the contempt she actually had for me all along, and wonder how you recommend handling this.

GENTLE READER: Have you tried asking (civilly and kindly) for a ban on discussing politics?

And it doesn’t work?

Next method is to refrain from arguing, and instead to encourage your friend to elaborate on her statements and explain her feelings. Questions should be asked in a neutral tone: Where did you hear that? Have you investigated it? Have you always felt this way? Does your family feel the same way?

That might not work, either. In that case, Miss Manners agrees that it is best not handled. Perhaps when you meet again in person, the friendship can resume if the lady is more respectful.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During “normal times,” we refrained from turning our backs on people speaking to us, or from looking elsewhere the entire time. Now, online, I attend speaker events in which the audience is primarily comprised of black boxes with or without their names listed. For the speaker, the lack of facial responses must be difficult, as there are only a few “live” faces to speak to.

Should one always be “present” (with video turned on) when attending a talk by a live, online speaker? Is it a courtesy to the speaker to show one’s face in the audience, as if one were there in person, or is it considered good manners either way?

This is new territory, but I feel I should be fully present if I sign on to the link.

GENTLE READER: Fully present also means not walking in and out, falling asleep or multitasking, all of which behaviors Miss Manners often sees from audience members who have activated their cameras during a live video talk. Those who cannot manage to seem interested and alert are better not seen.

That the format presents problems for speakers accustomed to lecture halls, Miss Manners acknowledges, although it is not easy to see facial expressions in a darkened auditorium from a lighted stage. For anyone accustomed to getting laughs, silence from a muted audience is disconcerting, and it might help to see smiles.

But it definitely does not help to be able to see close-ups of people who are not paying attention.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The people at my dentist’s front desk always refer to me as Miss Jane and my husband as Mr. Tom. We are in our 70s, and would prefer to be called Jane and Tom or Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Do we mention this to the dentist, to the front desk people, or just let it go?

GENTLE READER: As you have not made up your own minds about whether you want to be addressed informally or formally, you should hardly blame the staff for using a compromise between the two. Especially in the South, their form is both warm and respectful.

As the situation here is professional, not personal, Miss Manners would consider the “Mr. and Mrs.” form more appropriate. But if you prefer to have them address you as pals, that is your choice. Just ask them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is getting married. Her biological dad and I divorced when she was about 2, and I’ve been with her stepfather since she was 4. Her biological father was in her life very (VERY) sporadically the first few years, and then he wasn’t at all.

He tried to reconnect when she was in her early 20s, but it was awkward for both of them, and it never really developed. When he remarried and moved out of state, there was some contact from the new wife -- trying to get to know my daughter and bring her and her dad closer, I’m presuming.

All this being said, my daughter wants to invite them to the wedding, which I thought was nice and the right thing to do. My concern is that there won’t be any acknowledgment of him as her “father” -- no walking down the aisle, no father-daughter dance, no boutonniere.

This is totally my daughter’s decision, and I understand completely where she is coming from. But I am worried about inviting him and then making him feel bad, awkward or whatever the case may be.

GENTLE READER: It is likely no surprise to her father that they are not close. But if it is your daughter’s intention to have her stepfather perform those duties, there may indeed be awkwardness and hurt feelings.

A gracious way around it -- and one that Miss Manners recommends in your case -- is to have you, her mother, walk her down the aisle. You could dance with her, too -- or forgo that particular tradition, at least as a viewer spectacle -- and she might find time to dance with all of the parents and stepparents later in the reception.

As Miss Manners has repeatedly emphasized, it is the actual people involved and not the casting of (particularly gendered) roles that is important. Whatever traditions the bride thinks she is upholding should be adapted as much as possible in order to avoid hurt feelings.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my children receive a gift, I am careful to ensure they participate in writing a thank-you note, even from a young age.

I was taught that it is proper to write a note in black or blue ink, never pencil. However, with my younger children, who are still learning how to write and spell, this is leading to a great deal of wasted stationery. When they make a mistake, as is normal to do at their age, we need to throw out the card and start over, sometimes three times in a row.

Would it be acceptable for a young child to write a card in pencil? Or should I write the card for them in pen?

GENTLE READER: Have the children write a rough draft that they can then copy onto the good stationery in ink. There still may be mistakes, but as long as cross-outs and bumpy white blotches are confined to a reasonable one or two per letter, the recipients -- and Miss Manners -- will most assuredly be forgiving.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)