DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the etiquette if you accidentally see someone naked -- say, in the house that you share?

I went to brush my teeth quite late at night, later than I am normally up, and my housemate threw open his door -- stark bollock naked -- to find the cat.

We each managed to stammer out a “sorry” as we went to different rooms, and I also let out a “No worries.”

I did have a chuckle. But I am curious, what would the etiquette be in this situation?

GENTLE READER: Did he find the cat? Why was it missing?

That is the only subject in which you should show an interest. But as long as you kept the chuckle out of his hearing, Miss Manners assures you that you handled it well.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does one deal with false modesty?

I found myself caught flat-footed when chatting with a textile artist. I joked that he could be the one to help me with my blanket stitch, and he responded that his handwork wasn’t very good.

Fine; I’d been mostly kidding anyway. But then he went on to give a rather extended account of his resume -- from college professor in a textile department to heading a very important craft council, teaching handwork all the way.

I found myself complimenting him, over and again, which he surely sought. At the same time, I was a bit miffed he’d been so disingenuous at the start and left me to fawn over his accomplishments, which he’d claimed not to have in the first place. My request for help with a simple stitch and his saying he didn’t have the required talent were becoming more inane each passing minute, until I was left feeling foolish, not to mention speechless.

Similarly, my husband, a scratch golfer, will only say he “plays a little golf.” I suppose that is better than claiming he can clean everyone’s clock, but I find it grating nonetheless.

Therefore, I must ask: What’s the best way to respond to an accomplished person who claims they aren’t?

GENTLE READER: Is it possible that being experts has made them genuinely modest -- because they know how much else there is to know, or because they know greater experts?

Nah, they’re probably just fishing.

Even so, Miss Manners prefers that to blatant bragging, which is now so common, and can be broadcast throughout the world online. So she would just play along and supply the compliment. It is an easy way to make someone happy.

But if you must protest, you can say, “Now you’ve embarrassed me. You’re obviously an expert in the field, and yet you let me make a fool of myself because I didn’t know that.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What are the manners dictated for when or if someone should be corrected for a mistake in public?

GENTLE READER: Presumably you are not talking about classrooms, courtrooms or other venues where strict truth is pursued. Elsewhere, the answer is never, which is why Miss Manners advises parents to cultivate a subtle expression that conveys to a small child, “Just wait until I get you at home.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Before the pandemic, I attended, along with a few other colleagues, a casual dinner party hosted by my boss. The six of us were gathered around the kitchen island, enjoying hors d’oeuvres and wine. I was drinking a glass of red.

My boss placed onto the island our buffet-style meal, including a bubbling macaroni-and-cheese casserole hot from the oven.

Just then, as I took a sip of wine, my boss said something hilarious. I instantly laughed, as did everyone else, but I spewed droplets of red wine onto the macaroni and cheese. My boss did not see it, but I’m pretty sure others did. I took a clean tissue and quickly dabbed my spit droplets from the casserole’s top. Some attendees saw me do this, others did not.

What should I have done? Announced my gaffe and removed the casserole entirely from the menu? Refrained from macaroni-blotting?

I feel that my question bears weight, especially when our society moves back toward socializing without masks.

GENTLE READER: Not a good idea, especially if you and your funny boss are around.

Before the pandemic, this is the sort of blameless gaffe for which you should have delivered a hilarious confession that would make everyone sympathize with you. Schadenfreude would have kicked in, and some people would have said that a little wine didn’t hurt, while others would have just skipped that dish.

Your other choice would have been to change your name and move to another country, taking the offending macaroni bowl with you.

But we have all learned a different standard of hygiene, and nobody is going to laugh at what would now be considered a deadly weapon.

So please do not let this happen again. If it did, you would have to make an abject confession to your boss, insist on ordering rapid takeout, and polish your resume.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I are blessed with a wonderful family. The problem is that one of our kids likes to give us outsized books as gifts.

These are NOT coffee-table size: The latest is 20 pounds. These books are on subjects that we enjoy, but it’s just not comfortable to read them. What would you advise?

GENTLE READER: An idea for your children on the next occasion that they want to give you a present: a lectern, with adjustable height, so that you can use it while seated or standing. Meanwhile, if you have a sturdy music stand around, try that. (Total disclosure: Miss Manners has art books like that. She reads them on the floor.)

If you just want smaller books, she suggests talking enthusiastically with the givers about the subject matter or an illustration, and volunteering to show it to them. Then you say, “But would you mind holding it for me, please, as it’s too heavy for me to manage.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few years ago, I was riding my motorcycle and pulled into a parking lot. I noticed a woman coming out of a coffee shop and pausing to look at me. Yes, I looked at her for a brief second as I parked. I then pulled out my phone and looked up my destination, still sitting on my bike.

This woman came up to me and said hi. I said hi back, and then she proceeded to ask me if I could take off my helmet -- she said she wanted to see how old I was because the helmet always throws her off. I thought, “You have some nerve!”

I wonder what you would think, Miss Manners, if I walked up to your car window and knocked and said, “Hi, could you roll down your window so I can see if you’re pretty or young enough for me?” I bet that would go very well.

This isn’t the only incident that I have experienced with brazen women, but it is the most egregious.

Dating in the U.S. is one-sided. The average woman has 100 messages in her dating apps and the average guy has seven. It truly is a woman’s world and us average guys are left feeling like we are on display, or like we are back in elementary school, hoping someone will pick us in a game of Red Rover, but never getting picked.

Please advise me where I can find a woman who values the content of my character more than the beauty that I have, which is only skin-deep.

GENTLE READER: The argument that this is a woman’s world -- and that men are only regarded for their looks -- is not going to gain much traction, Miss Manners is afraid. Nor make you any more popular.

However, it is true that no human, of any gender, should be treated as you describe. In your situation, you might have said, “I beg your pardon? My helmet is on for my own protection” and left the impertinent woman to ponder from what -- or whom -- you were actually being protected.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a condo, and the upstairs tenants have three children. I understand that kids generate a lot of laundry, but on some occasions, they run their washing machine late at night and it interrupts my sleep.

I was going to write a note asking that they please refrain from using their washer after 10 p.m. because it is noisy and prevents me from sleeping. Is there a better way to say this?

GENTLE READER: With three children living above you, Miss Manners considers you lucky that only the late-night laundry is costing you sleep.

You might point that out in your note, thereby making it all the more gracious: “You and your children are so thoughtful and light-footed that it pains me to ask you, but would it be possible to run the washing machine during earlier, waking hours?” Then quietly rest up for the children’s adolescence.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)