DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 29-year-old daughter has “unfriended” my husband and me on social media, and most likely blocked our phone numbers. We haven’t talked, texted or anything in over a month.
The reason is that she has a resale business where she buys furniture in other cities, then brings it back to our city and sells it for a profit. She has asked multiple times to borrow our cars, which have gotten dinged up from putting furniture in them. And the last time she used my car, a rock hit my window.
She did not offer to fix it, and got mad at me when I asked her to make a claim on her insurance, since she was driving. When I asked her to pay for the deductible on my insurance, she got mad at us and said the only thing we ever talked about was money.
Am I wrong that when you borrow something and it gets damaged, you are responsible? The money isn’t the issue; it is the disrespect toward me! We addressed the issue before she unfriended us.
Obviously this isn’t a huge amount of money. We’d like to have a relationship with our daughter, but don’t want to be walked on. Any suggestions on repairing this situation since she blocked us out?
GENTLE READER: Write a letter. It has the advantage of being both disarming in its novelty and also one-sided.
Keep it simple and do not cast or accept blame: “We are sorry that the situation with the car got out of hand. Now that we have resolved it, let us all take pains to do better in the future. We miss you.”
Miss Manners cannot promise that your daughter will respond to or even read it, but at least she will have to take greater measures if she wants to block or unfriend the mail system.