DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it right that my niece insists on “no masks” at her wedding? She even has a friend watching for masks as people enter the church!!!

GENTLE READER: Only if she has friends who are so eager to see her married that they are willing to risk their health.

Miss Manners hopes that prospective guests will be notified in advance so that they need not dress up, complete with what is now considered a conventional accessory, only to be turned away at the door.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Each year, I host my women friends at an open house holiday party in my home. Most of us are in our 60s or older, and are understandably cautious about inside gatherings these days.

I can seat five or six ladies at the proper distance inside my living room, and if we are fortunate to have nice enough weather, I can seat a slightly larger number outside. Would it be terribly tacky to go ahead with my plans, but send a sign-up sheet and have the ladies indicate the time they plan to come so that I won’t go over the limit? Or should I just give up my plans until things are hopefully better in 2021?

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners would be sorry to have you give up, what if your friends are all polite enough to respond immediately? Are you really going to tell some that they didn’t still make the cut?

Fortunately, there is precedent for staggering the arrival of guests at an open house, which, in normal times, might include a great many more people. For example, some invitations would say “2 to 4,” and some “4 to 6,” or even “5 to 7” if you think the early people might stick around too long.

As yours will be small parties for close friends, and they will understand the necessity for keeping the gatherings small, you could be flexible about allowing them to change time slots.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As usual, I am receiving a few Christmas cards that are coming custom-printed with such sentiments as “Merry Christmas from The Johnson Family,” or “Happy Holidays from The Andersons,” instead of being hand-signed.

While I have always found these cards to be somewhat impersonal, I am willing to accept the notion that some people feel a custom-printed card is “classy,” and I am especially willing to excuse them if they’ve taken the time to hand-address the envelope.

The straw that breaks my back is when the cards come from people who use a computer to create address labels, which is, to me, the height of impersonal.

I am writing for your permission to feel slightly insulted when I receive a card from someone whose annual Christmas-card-sending ritual doesn’t even include picking up a pen.

GENTLE READER: Permission denied. But if you want to reverse this, Miss Manners will approve. She admires a prettily hand-addressed envelope as much as anyone, but there is nothing classy about withholding a personal touch, and the place for that is in the card itself.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I underwent major surgery last year. I am recovering well, but it will, of course, take time to be up and moving normally. I live alone, having recently moved to the other side of the country for graduate school.

The people I have met over the last year have been so wonderful! I have had people bring me meals, help me run errands, clean my house and even walk my dog! I could not have asked for a better support network.

I want to acknowledge their kindness and generosity in some way, but am at a loss. Prior to quarantine, I would have hosted a thank-you dinner for everyone, but that is now unwise for their safety and mine. I am also a student, so gift cards (or even moderately priced gifts) are cost-prohibitive for me.

Please, how can I show these people just how much their love and care has meant to me?

GENTLE READER: Write them letters. Those do not cost anything and mean so much. In them, express the desire to reciprocate the kindness should the need arise -- and to get together once restrictions are lifted and your health is restored.

Miss Manners assures you that handwritten letters will have longer-lasting effects than big box store gift cards or strongly scented candles. Well, perhaps not the latter.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have several nieces and nephews. When one of my nieces was the first to get married several years ago, we gave the couple a modest monetary gift. When the next got married, we could afford to give that couple a substantially larger monetary gift.

Another niece is about to be married, and I would like to give the couple the larger amount, but I would also like to “make up the difference” for the first couple so that we are giving equitably to everyone.

What is the correct way to augment the original gift? We will all be at the next wedding (assuming it is safe to do so). Could we give the first couple a card with the additional amount? I am at a loss as to what sentiment would be appropriate to write.

GENTLE READER: Perhaps the balance due to the first couple could be offset by accounting for the inflation that has devalued the subsequent, higher amounts relative to the first.

No, Miss Manners is being facetious. You are concerned that your nieces and nephews know that you love them equally. Etiquette solves this problem with a polite fiction: that all gifts are equally heartfelt.

It is for this reason that price tags are removed before bestowing presents, and it is one of many reasons that Miss Manners objects to cash gifts. Sending the balance to the first niece retroactively invalidates the original gift -- ”I was shortchanged!”

Better to send that niece a nicer-than-usual, non-cash present, with an affectionate, handwritten letter, for her next birthday or anniversary. It will be remembered long after the cash is forgotten.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A business associate bought me an expensive watch to celebrate completing a deal. I wear it whenever I see him, and he never fails to compliment it. But it’s not really my taste, so otherwise it sits in a box at home.

I recently moved homes, and the movers decided to relieve me of the watch, as I had not secured the box.

Next time I see the giver, what do I do? I could replace it, but it’s not where I would prefer to spend my own money. I could fib that it’s out for service. I could tell the truth, but that might sound like I’m asking for another watch.

With no travel currently happening, I have time to await your wise reply.

GENTLE READER: “I am devastated that the watch you gave me somehow got lost in our move. But I am determined to find it, and will not stop looking until I have.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am writing on behalf of a not-for-profit organization. We often have donations made in memory of someone, and we send their families a letter notifying them of the donation.

A young man in our community passed away, and his parents are no longer together. Should we send a donation notification letter to the young man’s mother, father, or one to each of them?

GENTLE READER: One to each. That way, they both have the opportunity to acknowledge the donation. Especially during this tragic time, Miss Manners feels strongly that it would be doing the parents a particular kindness not to give the impression that one parent was better liked than the other.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am planning an outdoor children’s party. Is it tacky to mention to the guests that the food is organic?

It’s not something that can be noticed through taste, and I think the parents will be glad to know that the fruits and veggies their toddlers will (hopefully) be eating are free from harmful pesticides.

Or does it sound like boasting? I think it’s different from saying “These shoes are limited-edition,” because guests will actually get to share the good stuff. Plus, organic food is a health consideration rather than a status symbol.

GENTLE READER: Is it? Some may disagree.

Miss Manners will not argue with you. But she will point out that telling everyone that the food you are serving is not harmful to them plants the idea that other people’s party food was -- which, even if true, is not polite. Best to wait until asked about, or complimented on, the food -- then you can say, “I am so glad you like it. We got it from this little organic place. I can give you the name of it if you’re interested.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper office microwave etiquette, normally? And how does COVID change this?

GENTLE READER: The basic rules are: Take turns, do not cook smelly food, and clean up after yourself. COVID recommendations would also mandate maintaining a safe distance in the break room -- so probably only one person in it at a time. Fortunately, Miss Manners finds that that distance also helps with the smelly food rule -- in the very likely event that it gets broken.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)