DEAR MISS MANNERS: About a year ago, we bought a home on a quiet cul-de-sac in a nice neighborhood. We noticed that the next-door neighbor’s backyard had a concrete half basketball court, but every time we came to the house for showings, inspections, etc., no one was ever playing basketball.

We figured it wouldn’t be a problem. That was our first mistake.

Our neighbor’s five kids and their friends use this court on a daily basis, from sunup to sundown, each on their own practice schedule. Recently, they started a nightly basketball camp where dozens of kids come to play. Inside our home, with windows and doors closed, we hear the bang of the balls being bounced and hit against the backboard, along with occasional yelling and music.

Upon moving in, we were welcomed to the neighborhood by these neighbors, and they told us to PLEASE let them know if the noise level was ever a problem. When the music level became too loud, we kindly asked them to turn it down, and they complied. A second time, they responded that due to the nature of their backyard, there will be extra noise here and there, and that is part of living in a neighborhood.

Short of moving away, how can we escape all this noise without making enemies with our next-door neighbors?

GENTLE READER: A friendly game with friends is one thing. A full-on camp is quite another. Especially at night.

Miss Manners suggests that you find a tactful way of questioning its legality. “I am so glad that the kids are able to play together, but I am afraid that the thump of basketball night camp is keeping us awake. And I worry that the block association is really OK with you running it out of your home. Perhaps you can set it for only daytime hours so that it’s not quite so noticeable?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it polite to correct people who say “real-a-tor” instead of “realtor,” or “nu-cu-lar” instead of “nuclear”? Or is it totally inappropriate?

I am not perfect, but these bother me.

GENTLE READER: Are any of these people in charge of nuclear codes?

Pronouncing the words accurately oneself is the only polite way Miss Manners recommends to correct someone who is not your child, student or direct report, or who is not about to look like a fool in public.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife’s friend came over to borrow a book. My wife warned her in advance that our two grandchildren would be here. The friend showed up just before lunch. The ladies chatted for a while, but then my wife had to excuse herself and start making lunch for the kids.

After lunch, she went outside with the kids and organized a slip-and-slide. The friend sat on our porch through all of that, finally leaving after two hours.

What would have been an appropriate way to end the visit in less time?

GENTLE READER: “I’m so sorry, but I am afraid that this isn’t a good time for a visit. I promised my grandchildren my undivided attention this afternoon. But I will be sure to reach out to you in the next few weeks to see what you thought of ‘Cold Comfort Farm.’”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a female, is it inappropriate for me to give gifts of flowers to other females, or to males? What about potted plants, on occasions when I go over to someone’s house? Could I give a potted plant to a male as a gift, and should I casually mention that I won’t hold it against him if the plant doesn’t survive?

Do the same rules apply when giving flowers to little children? I think it would be nice to surprise a little girl with a cute bouquet for her birthday, or present a little boy or girl with a “botany project.”

Are there any colors/species that are totally inappropriate to give in any of these cases -- like, say, red roses for somebody else’s husband?

GENTLE READER: You caught Miss Manners. Up until that last point, she was going to admonish you for gendering the issue. Flowers are for everyone.

Flowers were once considered to convey coded language, and there is still some symbolism in a few of them (white lilies, for example, are generally associated with funerals), but a mixed bouquet can usually get around even that.

However, the floral industry and reality dating shows have indeed discouraged anyone from giving red roses to those who are not viable romantic interests. That would presumably include other people’s husbands. Fortunately, by your own assertion, they would not be able to take care of the flowers anyway.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately I have seen able-bodied people kick the automatic door button with their foot as they go into a shop. This is disgusting, as people with special needs use this button with their hands to enter establishments.

What is a nice way of telling these people that what they are doing is not fair to the people who actually need to use these buttons?

GENTLE READER: “I find that pushing the button with my elbow is more effective in making sure that I don’t spread or acquire germs.”

Alternatively, Miss Manners recommends that you take out some disinfectant and start spraying. In the current climate, it would hardly be considered rude or even noteworthy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When sending a letter or email to someone with a hyphenated last name, what is the proper way to address the recipient? Do I use the fully hyphenated name, such as Mrs. Jones-Smith? Or just the first part (Mrs. Jones) or the last (Mrs. Smith)?

What if you are addressing the letter to a married couple? Would it be Mr. Smith and Mrs. Jones-Smith, or just Mr. & Mrs. Smith?

GENTLE READER: The full hyphenated name should be used, with separate lines for each if the married couple’s names are different.

However, the owners of hyphenated names should be tolerant when it comes to mixing up the order or leaving out parts. Miss Manners suggests a compromise: that those with complicated names not complain if someone gets it wrong -- in return for not being teased about how many extra names their children will have to juggle when they one day marry another hyphenated name.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a handyman, George, whom we have used for several years. He was originally recommended to us by a close friend, and a small group of us keep him pretty busy.

My husband and I have come to rely on George as a reliable and trustworthy helper, as we have aged out of doing many tasks ourselves, and we pay him generously. We have also learned George’s strengths and weaknesses: For instance, he is a terrible painter and a so-so landscaper, but a great plumber and a good electrician.

On two occasions, different neighbors have approached George when he is outside our house and inquired as to his availability to do jobs for them. I feel that this is 1. somewhat rude and 2. potentially unwise. Instead, I think that they should ask my husband and I whether we mind their “poaching” our employee. If they are wise, they should also ask our opinion of his skills.

I might add that on both occasions, the neighbors hired him and were disappointed by the painting work he did for them, which resulted in minor disputes over what he charged them.

Am I wrong to think that a neighbor should do us the courtesy of asking before trying to hire our handyman?

GENTLE READER: Your neighbors are properly barred from helping themselves to time you are paying for. Time for which you are not paying still belongs to George.

In theory, this means that asking a gardener for his card while you walk by him seeding the lawn is acceptable, if the exchange is quick. In practice, such requests usually lead to a longer discussion, which, if visible to George’s current employer, will be resented if he is being paid by the hour.

For that reason -- and to avoid the subsequent problem with George’s painting skills -- your neighbor would have been smarter to come to you for a recommendation. But you were saved the discomfort of admitting that George forgets to paint the wall behind the couch -- and afforded the revenge, without looking too ungracious, of pointing out that you could have saved them some trouble.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Growing up, I was always taught to set the table by putting the fork and knife on the right side of the plate, on top of the napkin. Placing them on the napkin prevented the fork and knife from touching the bare table.

Now I know it’s napkin, fork, plate, knife -- all in a row. Is it OK that the fork and knife are directly on the table, or does doing it this way properly require a placemat or tablecloth?

GENTLE READER: Etiquette makes no objection to forks or knives coming into direct contact with the table. And Miss Manners notes that, unless the meal is at a picnic table, it is just as likely to be sanitary as a placemat or tablecloth, since hosts who forget to keep the table clean are equally likely to be absent-minded about the cutlery.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)