DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am not happy at all about COVID-19, but I confess that I am happy that no one has invited themselves over to my house lately.

In the past, I have had many guests who just announce that they are visiting, and no amount of hints get through to them. I do like day guests very much, but not overnight guests, as I hate to cook. I also have a health condition that can cause fatigue.

Mostly, I am an introvert and don’t like people invading my space for long periods. I am afraid that when the virus is no longer a threat, potential guests will resume their uninvited visits.

I have tried saying, “I’d love to see you on ‘X’ day, but I think you’d be happier in ‘Y’ hotel for nighttime.” Then the response is, “Oh, but I would feel so much more comfortable being casual and visiting longer!”

I have tried saying, “I am happy to see you, but I don’t cook.” Then they say, “I’ll cook!” but then they make a mess in my kitchen and I end up cleaning for hours.

I know I shouldn’t have to give an excuse, because excuses like my health issue just invite more unwanted, prying questions or well-meaning “solutions.”

I always prefer to stay in a hotel when I am visiting friends in another town. How do I get them to stay in a hotel?!

GENTLE READER: Presumably you sort of like these pushy people, as you do want to see them occasionally (after the pandemic). So you will have to stop hinting and start making yourself clear.

It is not impolite for a potential host to state the terms for a visit. Nor need you be defensive when guests presume to do so. Miss Manners has a few phrases for you to memorize:

“I’m sorry, I’m not having overnight guests. But if you are staying in town, I’d love to see you.” You need not offer an excuse, but if you feel you need one, turn your guest room into a gym, a sewing room or a pet menagerie, so you can state as much.

“I can’t do lunch/dinner, but please come to tea.” That involves only boiling water and putting out a snack.

“You know, I’ve gotten used to virtual visits; it seems that they are so much more focused. So please let me know when you’d be free to have one.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Since when does anyone with manners cut food with a FORK??? Isn’t that what a knife is for?

GENTLE READER: Since about 200 years ago, when the fork was belatedly coming into common use. Before that, most Europeans and Americans ate with their knives -- generally their own all-purpose knives, which they might have also used to kill small animals or clear brush.

Then it came to be considered more civilized to use a fork (which Italians had been using all along), and tableware was already supplied at the table. The fork became the instrument of choice, with the knife only employed for meat and other foods that could not be sliced with the side of the fork.

Miss Manners has chosen to assume that you are more interested in learning history than expressing sarcasm.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m often in groups where the subject of stimulus checks comes up. People will interject that they have, or have not, received what they’d expected.

Due to my high income, I’m not eligible to receive anything. Since I really don’t want to admit how much money I make, I try to just remain silent. However, when asked directly, I lie and say I’ve received mine. Do you see a problem with my lies?

GENTLE READER: As no one should be talking about money in polite society anyway, Miss Manners will permit you to escape. If you define the phrase “I’ve received my due” as having already earned it within a higher income bracket, then the truth is merely being subjected to semantics.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband of three years has a few habits that annoy and frustrate me. I have been trying for weeks during the quarantine to discuss them, but every time I have tried to bring up the topics, his response is immediately defensive.

A few days ago, my demeanor changed because I have been ignoring these habits of his so long now. They are so annoying and I am so frustrated. He knows something is bothering me, causing tears to trickle out and leading me to talk less, be less playful and keep my distance. He even apologized, though he doesn’t know what for.

It is also difficult for me to start the conversation because I know I must have some habits that annoy him, too, but he always answers “no” when I ask. And my housekeeping is far below par, but I get no criticism from him on that, either.

How can I criticize him when he sees no wrong in me? Should I just continue to cry, mostly in secret, eat in another room to avoid his table manners, and talk to him less since I feel less close because of the other annoyances?

GENTLE READER: Surely, your husband would prefer that you communicate with him, rather than ignore him and cry in the closet. No doubt, he has noticed that you are pulling away. And the fact that he appears to be more easygoing, blinded by love and seeing no wrong in you, does not mean that you must silently endure what are presumably correctable habits of his.

It is a difficult thing to teach someone that there is a difference between intention and action, and that undesirable behavior does not have to be a character flaw -- if that person is willing to adjust.

Miss Manners suggests that you sit him down and explain that you love him, but that living together means making adjustments in order not to annoy each other continually. And the quarantine, has, as you said, exacerbated that.

Start small and focus on what can be reasonably changed. She further recommends that you cease forcing him to come up with annoying habits of yours. Nothing good can come from that.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a grandchild’s birthday, would it be inappropriate for a grandparent to post a message that talks of their late spouse and how they “wanted you to know they are watching over you”?

I personally feel that a child’s birthday celebration is not the time to grieve the loss of your husband. Your thoughts?

GENTLE READER: That you are less than thrilled about Nana’s post on Jaden’s 5th birthday announcement.

However, there is a difference between grieving and acknowledging. If Nana was diverting attention from Jaden by posting a page-long eulogy in lieu of a birthday message, that would be one thing. But Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with acknowledging that Pop Pop might be thinking of him as a way of reminding him of his grandfather -- as long as that acknowledgement is kept brief and doesn’t scare the celebrant, as in “Happy birthday, Jaden. Miss Manners is watching you.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I love to cook and bake, and am told I’m quite good at it. My husband, who means well but is completely oblivious to common sense, found out that a friend of his was getting rid of her stove and buying a new one.

That she might be getting rid of it because it’s a complete junker didn’t occur to him. I came home from work to find that he had surprised me by replacing my perfectly fine stove with the stove his friend had gotten rid of.

I don’t know why he thought I needed a new stove when I liked the old one. The new one is horrible. The oven has only two settings: too hot (things burn on the outside and are still underdone on the inside) and too cold (things don’t finish baking). None of the burners fits right and they all tilt, which means that it is impossible to cook evenly on the stovetop. After only a month, I’ve come to hate cooking, and dread going into the kitchen to try to make a salvageable meal on that piece of garbage.

Obviously the solution is for me to buy a new stove for myself, which I’m going to do, annoyed though I am at having to spend the money. How do I do so in such a way that I don’t convey to my husband that I hated his gift? Do I need to wait a certain amount of time?

What do I say if he asks me why I bought a new stove so soon after he gave me one? Do I raise the subject, and if so how, or do I just quietly replace it and hope he doesn’t say anything?

GENTLE READER: There is a difference between the surprise element that comes with a personal present and that of a major shared household item.

Miss Manners gives you her permission to replace the oven openly, telling your husband, “I can see why Mandy got a new stove. I am afraid that this one was on its last legs, and we’ll have to get a new one.” She further suggests that you take this opportunity to request that your husband confer with you when it comes to replacing crucial domestic appliances -- if not, perhaps, charm bracelets and coffee mugs.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)