DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a woman in my 50s with decades of professional experience working for high-profile individuals. I’m more international than many diplomats, as well as trendy and attractive, and apparently I can pass for five to 10 years younger. Nevertheless, I am overwhelmed with how ageism and sexism are affecting me.

In the last decade, my family dumped a gravely ill family member on me, I went through an atrocious divorce that left me penniless, and I raised my children with zero outside support. One of my children has been very ill for years, so we’ve been more on welfare than off, leaving me with an illness myself. I haven’t had a boyfriend in eight years, due to exhaustion and disinterest.

It’s become apparent that my expertise is no longer needed in a workplace as I can’t even get interviews, so I became a tech entrepreneur. I’ve never been so happy, and I’m thriving more than ever, but it’s early days and I’m still broke.

I try to be patient until people “get” me. However, I am delirious with rage at the number of ultra-arrogant men between 20 and 35 who try to dominate me at work. Younger women do it, too, but catch on faster, and I can handle the older men. It’s the young men with three to 10 years of experience under their belts (often composed entirely of fluff) who are mind-bogglingly condescending. I have quite literally no time to sit around listening to their bragging and bravado.

Life may have made me overly sensitive, but I have a fantastic therapist and work intensively on managing my emotions. I’m known for being very friendly, polite and fair -- so maybe these guys are taking me for an idiot?

I told one, whom I knew pretty well, “You are mansplaining, and it’s annoying.” He cried and we couldn’t work together anymore. I want to nip this in the bud as early as possible so we can get down to business. Got anything for me?

GENTLE READER: Yes: sympathy. But only with the caveat that, as irritating as these young men may be, you still have to be polite to them. Telling someone that they are annoying or making generalizations about their demographic is neither friendly, polite nor fair -- traits for which you claim to be known.

“Yes, I believe I just said that” is a way to show displeasure at “mansplaining.” Or a reminder that self-promotion, unless it is on behalf of (credited) shared victories is unseemly: “I believe that Marla was also involved on that project,” or “Oh, that was your golf score? I’m sorry, but I thought you were talking about business matters. Let us stick to that while we are at work.”

The business world is having a moment right now wherein it is addressing the historically dominant voices that have previously prevailed. Miss Manners hopes that your office will take advantage of the restructuring. If not, perhaps you can suggest it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I find myself occasionally asked about what church I attend or invited to attend someone’s church that I have no interest in. I consider my beliefs to be private, and I definitely don’t want to get into a religious discussion about my beliefs or listen to an explanation of someone else’s religion. How do I politely get out of the conversation?

GENTLE READER: “Thank you, your church sounds lovely. I am happy with my current one, and if you don’t mind, consider religion a private matter. But tell me, how is your career in politics going?”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As an environmentally conscious person, as well as fitness-oriented, I usually carry a stainless steel bottle of water wherever I go.

When visiting other people, is it acceptable to carry my bottle in with me to stay hydrated, or should I leave it in my car in favor of the host’s beverage selection?

GENTLE READER: The latter. Presumably the least any host can provide you is water -- in the original environmentally conscious receptacle: a glass -- so bringing your own is not only disrespectful, but also redundant. Unless you mean to suggest that what you carry around with you is more potent than water, in which case Miss Manners fears that your host’s offense may turn instead to deep concern.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my boyfriend and I sit out on his patio with his 34-year-old son, the son spits incessantly. He doesn’t do this inside, only when we are outside on the patio.

Sometimes he is smoking when he does this, but he will do it whenever he is outdoors. He talks a lot and tends to dominate conversations. When he’s talking outdoors, he spits just about every time he takes a breath.

I’m trying to be more tolerant, but I am a little disgusted with this habit. I’ve also noticed it with other men throughout my life.

Do you know why some men spit like this? I hope I learn to ignore it, but if it ever gets to be too much for me, do you have any suggestions for addressing this habit? I’m afraid that someday, he’ll catch me in a bad mood and I’ll end up snapping at him.

GENTLE READER: What about screaming? Not at him, perhaps, but at the sight of a glob of saliva being propelled from his mouth? That should not be difficult.

Miss Manners does not understand why anyone would feel entitled to spit in front of others. Evidently it is not a medical issue, as it occurs only outdoors, so she hardly sees the point in ascertaining why -- the answer will likely prove just as awful and even more graphic.

With the current added dangers of being in proximity to another person’s emissions, however, one hopes the practice will become more rare -- and that his wearing a mask will help to protect you. As added incentive, your own mask might also stifle those screams.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I need your advice on how to approach my elderly neighbor. She sent her son over into our backyard to trim down two of our bushes. She did not ask permission to do this, and the bushes were clearly on our property, because her son had to go around her fence to get to them.

This bothers me because I had a stranger in my backyard, and now there is a huge mess. What is the most polite way to tell her this was unacceptable, and that in the future, she needs to ask my partner or me to trim our own bushes? I would have happily obliged, had she just asked!

GENTLE READER: “Your son may not have realized, but he was cutting the bushes on our property. We cleaned up the mess, but in the future, please talk to us before compromising our hedges without consent.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: With masks now required for entering restaurants that are opening at reduced capacity, how do we handle conversations and eating? I can’t imagine going back to my favorite restaurant and relaxing while masked. The experience is ruined, even at an outside table, and I would be more relaxed at home.

And I am really puzzled about tipping for curbside, as opposed to tipping for inside (or outside) dining. Are there new rules? What are they, or what should they be?

GENTLE READER: You are not the only one who finds such a prospect unappealing, a reality that restaurants are struggling to address. Staying in is the only alternative to following the rules.

Miss Manners is not a fan of tipping: She prefers that employers pay staff a living wage. But recognizing that it exists, she feels it would be gracious to apply the more generous rules for in-person dining to curbside pickup, as a measure of thanks for those working under trying conditions.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My lovely wife and I have celebrated 48 years of marriage. We had a fairly small wedding, though we invited about 200 guests. Half of them were to come from my fiancee’s hometown, with the other half mostly couples my parents knew. Only about eight guests were friends of mine.

Neither my wife nor I were, or are now, in the same social circle as most of these people. Only about 22 people from my parents’ list showed up. From the others: no show, no gifts, no regrets and no RSVPs. From my fiancee’s hometown, just about everyone RSVP’d and brought or sent gifts. It was embarrassing, with one side of the church full and the other about 15%.

Over the years, we have received invitations to children’s and grandchildren’s baptisms, bar mitzvahs, confirmations and weddings, although we are still not in the same social circles as these people. Many years ago, I started giving inexpensive “invitation trays” as gifts for these events. My wife thinks I should get a more expensive gift from their registries.

My argument is: Why, exactly, should I purchase an expensive gift for people I don’t know, when no one in their family acknowledged my existence when I was married? The only time I ever hear from them is when they want a gift.

GENTLE READER: Contrary to popular belief, cost and graciousness are not, to borrow your phrase, in the same social circle.

So if you are going to contextualize the question as you did, Miss Manners instead asks, “Why should you purchase a gift at all, expensive or otherwise?” You need only decline these invitations.

But while their behavior around your wedding was rude, you may also not wish to reveal that you have been carrying a grudge for 48 years. Whether their current behavior is as gift-grubbing as you believe, or a genuine attempt to reconnect a tenuous relationship, will be hard to assess if you never attend.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)