DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a bosom buddy who loves to cook. Unfortunately, every time I eat her cooking, I suffer enormous intestinal distress.

For some time now, I have avoided eating at her house by scheduling my visits with her at times when I can reasonably say I have already eaten, but now she invites me over saying, “Come hungry.”

I couldn’t think of any way out of a recent invitation, so I accepted and had a meal with her. Inevitably, I got sick. What would have been the polite way to avoid eating at her house? She rarely goes to restaurants, and especially not now.

GENTLE READER: Etiquette exists to avoid confessions like, “I value our friendship, but your food makes me throw up.”

This should be relatively simple: You express disappointment that you are -- for no specified reason -- unavailable; your buddy accepts this answer gracefully.

Miss Manners realizes that, in reality, your other friends are urging you to be honest, while your would-be host will not stop asking what you will be doing at that time. When everyone sees staying the course as a virtue, without regard to oncoming traffic, collisions are unavoidable.

You have two good options: Get used to hearing yourself say how sorry you are that you cannot attend -- or find something among the food provided that you can eat.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When and how is it polite to tell a casual contact that there is a glaring typo on their business card, website or other promotional materials?

Here are just a few examples I have seen: “Family RESOURSE Center” on a business card from a mass-networking event; “We Provide EXPEREINCED help” on a proudly displayed banner in a temp placement office; “Estimated Texas Population in 2040 -- 50 BILLION” on a PowerPoint presentation.

I figure people might want to know so they can correct it, but I don’t want to sound pushy or arrogant. Also, some of these are people who might hire me, so there’s the added question of, “Will this be a positive indicator of how conscientious I am, or a negative indicator of how nit-picking I am?”

GENTLE READER: Most people will assume the latter -- or worse. They may tack on “rude” (when they remember it is impolite to correct another person in such situations) and “superior.” (The latter will not be about your spelling -- which is superior -- but rather an invented crime to hide their own embarrassment.)

Miss Manners says this to convince you that, in most cases, you will simply have to look the other way (or “weigh” or “whey”). The exception is if you can find a non-insulting way to offer your services as an editor -- and to have that offer willingly accepted. “Oh, I just looked up some of those figures in my own presentation. Do you want me to look over yours?”

The misspellings can then be fixed as part of the larger task. This will demonstrate not only that you know how to spell, but also that you are adept at saving a potential boss from her own mistakes without embarrassing her.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am an adult woman, over 50 years of age, single and living alone in a home I’ve owned for many years. Once again, my mother called to tell me that “WE” got an invitation in the mail -- addressed to my mother, at her home, with my name listed below hers.

The senders could have called our mutual relatives for my address. They could have found it with a very quick online search. Or they could have simply texted me, as I know they have my cellphone number!

WHY, oh why, would someone treat a mature adult like a child in this way? (It is not a matter of frugality, which might be understandable.) This isn’t the first time this has happened to me, although it never happens to my siblings. Is it because they are married?

Is it because my mother is elderly and doesn’t drive and they are inviting me to chauffeur Mother to the event? If that’s the case, 1. Why are they assigning that duty to me and not one of my siblings? (In this case, they know my sister is attending.) And 2. Don’t I still deserve my own invitation?

It upsets me more than it should, because it continues to happen. It seems impossible to keep it from happening; one can only react when it does. I try hard not to, but sometimes I think, since the hostess doesn’t feel I’m worth an invitation/postage, then maybe the event isn’t worth my time and a gift isn’t worth my hard-earned money.

What should I do? Should I text the hostess and give her my address? That seems odd, as we don’t text often. I’m very tempted to send my RSVP to the hostess’ own parents’ address! I think that might get my point across. Please, Miss Manners, tell me I can!

GENTLE READER: With the object of showing her how mature you are?

As is sometimes the case, we have here two problems: the surface problem and the inner one, where you fret that it was prompted by an insulting evaluation of you.

Miss Manners would much prefer to deal with the surface issue: Ask your mother to answer for herself, adding that she doesn’t know if you will be attending, but here is your address.

Hosts do not issue invitations for the purpose of insulting prospective guests. When they do not bother to assemble a correct guest list -- resorting to such designations as “and family” or “and guest” -- they are being thoughtless.

That is bad enough. But if they were thoughtless enough not to ascertain your proper address, you may be sure that neither were they thinking about whether you are married or who is going to drive. Possibly they had your siblings’ addresses because they had once sent them wedding presents.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a postcard invitation to a “Mail Baby Shower” while all of us are in this pandemic. I’m trying to think it through whether or not this is tacky.

GENTLE READER: Not quite as tacky as it would have been last year.

Miss Manners appreciates that it may not be possible now to hold such an event as an in-person gathering. But stripping it of any socializing, so that it is nothing more than a solicitation for presents, is crude. The hosts should think of some virtual way to show that they value contact with their guests, or it will still be tacky.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

GENTLE READERS: Labor Day, for Miss Manners, comes with the laborious task of facing indignant messages from those who object to this holiday’s also marking the end of the white shoe season.

Why they get so worked up bewilders her. It doesn’t seem to make any impression that she keeps suggesting that anyone who wants to break a rule should find one that is more fun to break.

Concluding that there is no use trying to placate these emotional objectors, Miss Manners has decided to go in the opposite direction by citing other rules they will hate:

-- Straw hats should not be worn before Easter nor after Labor Day.

-- Velvet should only be worn between Oct. 1 and March 1.

-- Fur should not be worn from March through September, and spotted furs should not be worn after dark.

-- Diamonds, rubies, emeralds and sapphires should not be worn before dark, the only exception being those that are set in engagement or wedding rings.

-- Drop earrings should not be worn during the day.

-- Ropes of pearls should be worn in odd numbers.

-- Watches should not be seen at evening social events, which is to say that a concealed watch is permissible, but an open one, such as a wristwatch, is not.

-- Jewelry should never be worn on top of gloves, unless you are royalty -- in which case it is still wrong, but you can get away with it because, despite the tabloid news, people think that everything royalty does must be correct.

There are more such rules, even some for gentlemen, but Miss Manners will now refrain from saying, “How do you like them apples?” and entertain the inevitable questions:

Q: Sez who?

A: These edicts represent the consensus of what those who cared followed, back when anybody even knew there were such rules.

Q: Who’s going to make me?

A: Nobody. So why are you so upset about it?

Q: Does anyone still actually follow these silly rules?

A: Miss Manners does.

Q: Why? They don’t make any sense.

A: Exactly.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I politely return a very thoughtful, well-intentioned gift?

I have had some ophthalmic surgeries and other procedures, which thankfully seem to be helping restore my vision at this time. A very thoughtful, caring friend gave me a gift certificate for an acupuncture treatment that she believes would help with my recovery.

How can I gently tell her that there is no way I would allow any more needles to be applied to me unless my M.D. was doing the procedure?

GENTLE READER: Ah, not so thoughtful. Prescribing medical treatment without permission, let alone without a license, is not Miss Manners’ idea of a well-intentioned present. If your friend were ill, would you give her a bottle of medicine for her birthday?

But yes, you should be polite about it. Unfortunately, it is not the sort of present you can stash away, as you will probably be asked about its effect. Nor, heaven forbid, should you regift it. You will have to tell your friend that while you appreciate her concern, you are getting professional medical care and will not be supplementing this by seeking outside treatments.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)