DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am friendly with a neighbor in my building. I have helped him on a couple of occasions, giving him referrals to get help with legal matters, and he has helped me twice with moving heavy furniture.

I’m not interested in this man, other than to be neighborly. I am not quite sure about his intentions, and I’m trying my best to take him at his word that he’s interested only in being a friend.

However, lately, when he texts me, he says things like “Hello Beautiful,” “Hi, pretty one,” etc., which makes me extremely uncomfortable.

During the first part of the pandemic, he called me with a legal question, and somehow the conversation diverted to religion, since he expressed interest in the church I attend. He has also suggested that we go out for dinner once the quarantine is over (or “over” to the extent that we can do so safely), to which I managed to reply, “Maybe one day.”

That’s my way of saying “no,” hoping he doesn’t ask again.

What is the polite way to respond to these “niceties”? I feel disrespected when he calls me “My beautiful,” which he only seems to do when texting -- fortunately, I’ve only run into him once lately, when taking the garbage out. But I don’t know how to respond.

GENTLE READER: Men in love, or moving in that direction -- and you are right to be concerned that this is what is happening here -- do not hear “no” when told “maybe.”

It would be facile, not to mention unfair, to say they always hear “yes.” They may just hear what you actually said, which obscures the certainty in your heart.

Miss Manners hears that you do not like to say no. Few people do. But characterizing his awkward attempts at flirtation as disrespectful is not going to criminalize his actions or absolve you from clarifying your position.

Whether this is done in plain English or vague phrases is up to you. Miss Manners suggests something along the lines of, “Thank you, but I’m afraid that will not be possible; I have other commitments.”

Whether such commitments are to another gentleman or simply to your own preferences need not be stated. Should he be so crude as to ask what they are, the answer should be a firm, “They are personal commitments.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It can happen that a kindhearted and very busy faculty member promises to help a student who wishes it. It can subsequently happen that the faculty member -- not yet having delivered on the promise -- passes the student in the hall while on the way home to dinner with family.

How does the student, wishing to be a gentle person, avoid causing a sense of guilt without becoming invisible?

GENTLE READER: Having mastered the conditional, the third person and the passive voice, the student is, Miss Manners is confident, ready for a far simpler lesson: Said student has done nothing wrong and is not responsible for what said professor may (or may not) think about his own failure to make good on his promise.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does one politely leave a Zoom conversation when the host has signed up for unlimited time, and everyone knows you have no place to go?

GENTLE READER: The same way you leave any party that is in full swing long after the expected time. You put on your brightest smile, say to the host, “This was great fun, but I’m afraid I have to leave now. Goodbye, everyone!”

And it is even easier now to make a quick exit, because the “Leave Meeting” button is closer than the door would have been.

Miss Manners keeps warning people not to make up excuses, even in person. They are not necessary, and you will be found out.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband’s sister is in the habit of asking us to pick up food on the way to her house. She has four young children, so we often go there, versus them coming here (we only have one son, who is 2).

She’ll usually ask us to go to a nearby restaurant and get the takeout order, pick up pizza, or stop at the store to pick up “a few ingredients.” This usually ends up being much of the meal, such as hamburgers and hot dogs plus a side, or all of the ingredients necessary for a pasta night.

While we are happy to help, she never pays us back or even mentions it. We are also not offered anything to drink: We need to bring our own drinks except water, is the unspoken rule, and she will drink her drinks right in front of us without offering. We are asked to cook and clean, and we leave feeling as though we just supplied another family with a full night of fun, despite us having to drive.

We are happy to host (and provide all of the food and drink), but are rarely taken up on our offers.

Is there a polite way to ask for payment for the food we pick up? Or, should we stop picking up food in general? It’s very important to my husband that we go every two weeks or so, as that’s the only time he gets to see his family.

GENTLE READER: Before disappointing you, Miss Manners wants to offer sympathy. Your sister-in-law has set this up as a method for you to reciprocate while barring you from reciprocating in the usual fashion, which you have offered to do.

Without family support, with her pitting her four children against your one, with the increasing general habit of expecting guests to contribute refreshments -- and perhaps with the argument that, as family, you are not exactly guests -- you are probably not going to win this one.

But let’s give it another try. Make the argument to the entire gathered family that you insist on having them because you want your nieces and nephews to feel that your home is an extension of theirs.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it considered rude or in bad taste to ask someone how much money they received in a greeting card as a present?

GENTLE READER: Prior to mugging the recipient?

Miss Manners can think of no other reason to inquire.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I enjoy hosting, and believe I do it well. I try to offer a variety of options, provide little comforts to make guests feel at home and let the wine flow.

However, I have a family member who always seems to want what is not offered. If I make a pot of coffee, they ask for an espresso; if I set out a diverse continental breakfast, they ask for eggs.

I am starting to feel insulted -- and frustrated, especially now that we have a little baby at home. I’m wondering how I can address this issue.

GENTLE READER: This relative (it’s not your spouse or child, is it?) is, Miss Manners gathers, in a category who cannot be told about nearby restaurants that accept special orders.

Well, no guest is. But with infrequent guests, you can merely say how sorry you are that you do not have what is requested, leaving silent the part about “... so take it or leave it.”

However, certain concessions should be made to frequent houseguests: asking what they generally have for breakfast, whether they have any food restrictions, and taking note, when possible, of foods they particularly enjoy. Respecting the restrictions is mandatory, and it is not necessary to fill other on-the-spot requests. But it is gracious to anticipate what would please your guests. Picky as they are, you seem to be stuck with them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our wedding was delayed because of COVID-19, and we let our guests know we’d be postponing the celebration until next year when it is (hopefully) safe. However, we decided to get married in a small video ceremony in a couple of weeks.

How should we announce the wedding to the people we invited, then disinvited, then possibly will invite again in the unspecified future? Does it change things if we still intend to have a large “first anniversary” party with the original wedding guests, to celebrate our marriage and the end of the pandemic?

How does one do this and make it clear we don’t expect any gifts for either occasion (but wouldn’t exactly turn them down, given our economic situation)?

GENTLE READER: Surely you do not expect Miss Manners to design a formal announcement that would cover this complicated, although unfortunately not uncommon, situation. The engraver’s bill would be staggering.

It is best conveyed informally, along with the hope of celebrating with them all, if possible, on your anniversary.

When or whether they send presents is not for you to dictate.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A former boss, from more than 10 years ago, revealed a cancer diagnosis to a very small circle of former colleagues by a note. There is not a lot of information about the prognosis. I heard of this information secondhand, and am saddened. Should I send a “best wishes” note?

GENTLE READER: And thus reveal that the very small circle is spreading that person’s medical information?

Yet Miss Manners is not one to discourage good wishes. You could ask the colleague from whom you heard this to pass the message to your former boss. This leaves open the opportunity to cover any indiscretion by making the message merely a friendly greeting, rather than a reaction to perhaps privileged information.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)