DEAR MISS MANNERS: Because of COVID-19, my daughter is having a very small wedding. The newlyweds are graduate students and will be sharing a house with three other graduate students, so they will only have a bedroom and bathroom to themselves for a couple of years.

Because of this, they have no room for wedding gifts. Do we mention that to the guests, or just keep quiet?

GENTLE READER: There is no polite way to say, “Save your money; they won’t have room for all that junk.”

If a guest specifically asks, you may say that the couple will be in tight living quarters or that they enjoy other activities away from home, like traveling. Miss Manners is certain that someday they will be in a different living situation, however, and at that point will want household items. In the meantime, she suggests that you clear some space in the basement.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How would you respond to someone who says, “Could you do something for me? Please and thank you.” They think they are being polite, and I don’t want to embarrass them or hurt their feelings.

GENTLE READER: There’s a reason that the “please” comes as the request is being made and the “thank you” comes afterward. It wards off presumption -- and a foregone conclusion where none was promised.

Miss Manners is not falling for it, and neither should you. The response to it is to say in a light and teasing way, “I’m sorry. I seemed to have missed something. To what did I already agree?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’d like to give two longtime friends, as a belated wedding gift, an antique platter that I bought in the U.K. 35 years ago. (They had a family-only wedding, which is why I hadn’t fretted about not sending a gift earlier, plus I am somewhat financially limited.)

Knowing their taste, I’m sure they would like it, and it would mean a lot to me to part with something I treasure so that two people who have been kind to me could now enjoy it.

May I give it as a belated wedding gift? If not, may I give it as a “Thank you for your many kindnesses” gift? Also, is there a gracious way of saying, “Although I didn’t buy this for you, this is a meaningful gesture because I love this item”?

I don’t want to sound tacky or martyr-y, and it would genuinely make me happy to give them a little pleasure, but I’d like them to understand that I didn’t simply root out some item that I was happy to part with.

GENTLE READER: There is a difference between what you suggest and simply unloading unwanted inventory. Miss Manners suggests that you present the platter with an accompanying note that gives its history and says something charming like, “I have long treasured this antique, just as I have treasured our friendship. I thought that you and Bertram might like it as an addition to your new household as a married couple. “

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please help my spouse and me with a disagreement.

Firstly, I believe that no one should have to walk into the bathroom to use the toilet and be confronted with the leftover “markings” of the previous user. I believe that it is both bad hygiene and terrible manners to leave signs of your waste for the next user. Each person should clean up after themselves!

Secondly, the toilet brush is for cleaning the toilet with cleaning products and for getting under the seat areas, not for cleaning your leftovers markings! If you use the toilet brush for that, you are basically leaving a brush full of poop particles to fester in that little holder in your bathroom! Personally, if leftovers do not fully flush, I take a wad of toilet paper and very carefully clean the mess myself, then drop it and flush it. I am very thorough about hand-washing, so feel this is the most hygienic option.

My spouse thinks it is perfectly fine to leave the leftover markings for days, and then once in a while, take the toilet brush and clean them all out with that. He says that using toilet paper instead of the toilet brush is unhygienic!

I have decided to use separate bathrooms for now, as I am getting pretty disgusted! It was not so bad pre-COVID, but we are sharing the house 24/7 now and I cannot take it!!!

Please! Tell us both the proper etiquette for toilet cleaning -- both when and how!!

GENTLE READER: Often and thoroughly. While glancing back at one’s expulsions is a disgusting affair, it is a necessary one to determine if they have been properly jettisoned. If it’s all the same, however, Miss Manners will stop short of recommending a particular method for cleaning it, as long as it is one where no excrement remains visible or odorous in any way. She will leave you to it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a wonderful stepdaughter. She lives with her mother and spends every other weekend with us, at which time we have other family members over for dinner.

Ashley has long, fine blond hair. She is an angel at 15, but has one habit that drives me crazy: She constantly braids, then undoes, then ponytails, then undoes, then puts her hair in a messy bun -- all in the kitchen, while we are having hors d’oeuvres, or cooking and eating our meal. She does it without thinking, and I’m guessing it is a coping mechanism.

I have asked her to please stop, as it is not good manners to do so in a kitchen or dining area.

Am I being unreasonable?

GENTLE READER: By not wanting long, fine blond hairs in your hummus? Miss Manners assures you, this is reasonable. She suggests saying, “Ashley, dear, please try not to fix your hair in the kitchen. While we may well need to floss our teeth after dinner, we’d rather not do it with one of your lovely strands.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have several friends who, in most ways, have good manners and consider themselves polite and refined. We all use cloth napkins, of course, when we dine at each others’ houses.

I was chagrined, however, to see that if they happen to sneeze during a meal at my house, they use the nicely starched and ironed napkins as a handkerchief, blowing their noses in them!

I am revolted by this, but feel uncomfortable asking them to refrain from doing so; nor am I inclined to place a box of tissues in the dining room in easy reach of the guests. What would you suggest?

GENTLE READER: Next time one of your well-mannered friends sneezes in the linen, give that person a fresh napkin. Miss Manners suggests this as the act of a good host, and therefore not one to be done with a grimace, or while holding the soiled napkin at arm’s length.

She may be vaguely aware that this will draw perhaps-unwelcome attention to the guest’s action, but that could never be your polite and refined intent.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m friends with a neighbor who is retired and has a lot of time on his hands. He is friendly and accommodating, and has become protective of me, which I appreciate as I’m a woman who lives alone.

Many times, he’s generously taken in delivery packages for me while I’m at work, cut my grass, or offered to do simple repair jobs. He even knocks on my door to see if I’m all right if he hasn’t seen me for a while. In short, he’s a good neighbor.

However, whenever I have home projects that require experts, such as carpenters, plumbers or repair experts, he will appear and attempt to supervise them, always asking them about every detail of their work and interjecting with advice. In several instances, he’s given me detailed evaluations of their work within earshot of them, leading me to later to make excuses or apologize for his intervention.

I’m about to have my kitchen remodeled, and it will require many people from all trades working in my house for a prolonged period. Frankly, I don’t want my neighbor hanging around and engaging them or telling them how to do their jobs. How do I politely restrain him from meddling without alienating him or appearing unappreciative of the other good deeds that he does for me?

GENTLE READER: He sounds like a well-intentioned person in need of some boundaries. “You are such a wonderful neighbor and I depend on you for so much. Thank you,” is a good opening, as it should disarm the “but” that any sensible person will hear coming: “But this work is going to go on for some time, and I can supervise them myself.”

If he is the kindly neighbor you think he is, Miss Manners trusts that will solve the problem. If not, then you may have to manage not just the workers, but him, too -- distracting him with minor requests so that the professionals can get on with their jobs.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)