DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband has been working from home, like many others, so I have heard many work conversations. He is the oldest in his office of 20 or so people. Most of the others are young enough to be his kids, and he calls them “kiddo.”

This irritates me, and I’m guessing it does the workers, as well, but they don’t say anything. Would you please explain why this is not a good idea?

Ditto for eating while on the phone and clicking his pen. Everything is amplified on a phone!

GENTLE READER: So is the extent to which it can get on someone’s nerves to be monitored and critiqued while trying to work.

That is not to say that spouses cannot deliver advice. But if you want to discuss the etiquette of working remotely with others, Miss Manners suggests you pick a time when you are both at leisure, and approach it as a challenge that many now share and are testing out.

Whether this group was used to eating at their desks would be a factor in how they felt about snacking during virtual meetings. And whether your husband’s young colleagues are amused or annoyed by his mode of address, Miss Manners cannot say. She remembers a prominent editor who called the young staff “kid,” which seemed to inspire the hope of rising to be considered his equal.

A polite discussion of what works best might be useful. Hovering over someone who is trying to work is not.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend’s daughter’s wedding was canceled because of the coronavirus, and it has now been rescheduled to be a Zoom ceremony.

What type of gift is required for a Zoom wedding? Should I spend the same amount of money that I would have on a gift for a formal, in-person wedding?

GENTLE READER: What do you suppose determines the amount of money to be spent on a wedding present?

Miss Manners fears that you may be the victim of that vulgar notion that the amount spent must equal the cost of entertaining the guest: To the lavish, much shall be given.

Nonsense. Spend the amount it costs to buy something you believe will please the couple, and that you can afford. Where they are being married has nothing to do with it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have two wonderful sisters. I send them gifts for birthdays and holidays. One sister always sends a lovely thank-you note -- either a letter or an email. One sister never responds or acknowledges a gift, in writing or electronically. Is it polite to inquire, after a month or more has elapsed, whether the gift(s) arrived or not?

Sometimes I might send an e-gift card, and I once inquired if it got stuck in her spam folder. Other times I don’t ask. Is it ever OK to ask if someone received a gift?

GENTLE READER: She did receive them.

Miss Manners is sorry to have to tell you that your parents succeeded in teaching gratitude, and how to express it, to only two out of the three sisters. So yes, you may voice your dismay that the offering must have been lost.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend I’ve known for decades, going back to high school. She’s been very successful in her career (computer stuff), but has had a number of bumps in her personal life: pregnant and married at 17, multiple marriages, horrible family.

But in recent years, she has been telling pretty tall tales about her younger days to new friends: inflating her popularity, denying she did certain things, that sort of thing. I can tell you with unvarnished certainty she was NOT the prom queen.

Rather than call her on a number of outright lies, I questioned her gently. She claims not to remember things, and casually brushes aside truths.

She claims this is reinvention; I call it lying. What do I say to this woman who seems to think that a made-up backstory will enhance any real successes she’s already achieved?

GENTLE READER: “Congratulations, after all this time, on becoming prom queen.”

No, not really. Your friend is pathetic, and needs sympathy more than ridicule.

But we do live in an age of self-glorification. Social media has taught people to spin reality, if not to outright lie about themselves. They have turned into their own press agents, promulgating claims to better-than-reality life.

What Miss Manners finds even sadder is that this apparently sparks depressing envy in those who read such silliness and find their own lives wanting in comparison.

But unless your friend is running for political office, or is otherwise misrepresenting herself in ways that will damage others, you need hardly bother to set her record straight. If you must react, you can keep saying, “I was there -- remember?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper etiquette for a stepmom at a wedding? Is it proper for her to attend wedding dress shopping sessions?

This stepmom was not in my daughter’s life until two years ago, when she and my ex-husband married. She had been his mistress prior to that.

GENTLE READER: You will be sorry to hear that etiquette has no rules regulating who shops for the wedding dress. If it did, Miss Manners would have to know more about your case in order to render a judgment: Who suggested the stepmother attending? If it was the stepmother herself, you could tell your daughter, “You know, you don’t have to let Flossie come along.”

If it was your daughter’s idea, it would be better merely to say, “Oh, dear, I was looking forward to just the two of us doing this.”

If neither works, perhaps there can be separate shopping expeditions. Even if your daughter finds what she likes in your absence, surely she will want to bring you to perform such maternal functions as mentioning that she used to be a little girl and now she is grown up and getting married, and pointing out where a tuck here or there would produce an even better fit.

But Miss Manners would also want to know if Flossie is in the fashion business or can somehow get a discount.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been having trouble setting boundaries with my mother-in-law.

Our county is currently under a stay-at-home order. This weekend, she invited her two sisters and two nieces over to my house for a socially distanced al fresco dinner -- one to which I had originally only invited her, her son and her son’s girlfriend (a single household). I found out about the extra guests only a half-hour before they arrived.

I ended up locking myself in my bedroom and refusing to participate. My husband is mad that I did not even come out to say goodbye.

I sent everyone this email:

“Hi Family -- I am glad you enjoyed yourselves on Saturday. I stayed in my room. I was given 30 minutes to come to terms with the idea that the number of the people on my property was going to quintuple. I am an introverted rule-follower, and that is not enough time for me to become comfortable with this idea, especially during the stay-at-home order.

“What I was originally told, and I was given over a week to consider and become comfortable with, is that two to three people would be picnicking in my front yard -- a small, socially distanced group, from one household. This is something I was willing to try as a test run for my mother’s birthday. What I got was more than double the number of guests with only a 30-minute warning.

“(Mother-in-law) is impulsive and unable to consider the consequences of her actions. I do not expect and am not asking that anything change there. The rest of you, however, know this. You also know that (Husband) and I rarely have guests over during normal times, much less during a pandemic.

“So here is what I propose: Next time you are invited to my house and the invitation comes from someone other than me or (Husband) directly, please confirm with us. It could be a simple ‘Hey, what time should I be over on Saturday?’ or ‘Do you want me to bring anything for the party?’ or ‘Can I bring my new boyfriend with me?’

“You all have my email address now. You should have my cell, because I’ve been on a number of text strings, but here it is again. Thank you for your respectful consideration.”

Did I overstep? How can I set boundaries without being rude?

GENTLE READER: Well, you probably won’t be troubled with family visits again soon. While your exasperation is understandable, no good is likely to come from the way you expressed it.

Miss Manners agrees with your husband that locking yourself in was inhospitable, when a wave and apologetic smile, even from behind a glass door, would have softened the edge. And your email could have explained your reaction by saying you were discombobulated by the radically altered plans, and would have welcomed them with advance agreement about guests and precautions.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)