DEAR MISS MANNERS: My spouse and I are expecting our first child soon. We are minimalists living in a small space, and we would rather our child grow up with a small collection of treasured favorite items rather than a room full of stuff that they could never possibly play with. (If this sounds hyperbolic, I lived this situation in my own childhood.)

We have some very enthusiastic grandparents-to-be who already seem at risk of showering the baby with tons of things. Is there any polite way to say that this is really unnecessary, both now and as the child grows up? And not in a deflecting way that makes them think we’re just being polite, but in a way that shows we mean it, without hurting their feelings?

Obviously, we appreciate their generosity, and we by no means want to deprive our child. There’s nothing wrong with birthday gifts! But I would rather the grandparents and other well-wishers spend time doing fun activities with our child, and keep it simpler on the “stuff.” What do you think?

GENTLE READER: With some judicious editing, Miss Manners recommends you tell your parents what you just told her (your spouse can deal with your in-laws). She suggests leaving out the part about having lived the problem yourself: There is no need for them to start feeling bad about those outpourings from them or from your own grandparents, which they had hoped delighted you as a child.

And you must have patience when your parents do not change their behavior overnight.

If none of this helps, you will be in the fortunate position of being able to use the surplus of gifts to show generosity to less fortunate children.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a member of a community musical group. We received an email notifying us that our conductor’s mother had passed away, and his mailing address was included in the message, in case members wanted to send a sympathy card.

I purchased a card and mailed it. Now, over a week later, the card has been returned by the post office with an “undeliverable” label stating the address does not exist.

What do I do now? The envelope is ruined, so I can’t resend the card if I get the correct address. Should I simply email my condolences to the family at this point?

GENTLE READER: Your concern that your condolences be received is understandable, but Miss Manners urges you not to lose sight of your original purpose.

This is not a race: The situation will be the same one week or one month from now. A handwritten letter (not a card) shows that, even with everything going on in your own life, you stopped to think about your bereaved conductor. And you will, in any case, have an opportunity to blame the post office for the delay when you call to get the correct address.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At social gatherings, I often take photos. I am an avid photographer, and spend time retouching to ensure dark photos are lightened and light photos are darkened so that the final image is better. I often restore old photos to a better quality -- removing dust, dirt, etc.

At a recent family event, I took many photos, which I brightened and enhanced to the best quality and posted on my social media account. My relatives have saved them to their phones and reposted the photos as their own, instead of sharing a link to mine.

This got under my skin so much. I know social media is a no-win situation, but I spend time to make the photos their best, and then someone else gets the credit. I thought of watermarking the pics, but I’m sure my relatives would think I’m being high-maintenance.

GENTLE READER: There is good news and there is bad news: Your relatives already think you are high-maintenance.

Why this is bad news, Miss Manners thinks you already know. Why it is also good news: because you have nothing to lose by imprinting a photo credit (“By Gary Gummidge”) onto the image. Such an insertion, unlike a watermark, does what you want -- it gives you the credit -- without the implication that it will be used later for legal purposes. But beware: Instead of stopping the spread of your photos, it may only encourage distant acquaintances to request more.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Several years ago, I had a small etiquette dilemma that I still wonder about occasionally. Since it’s the kind of thing that could happen again in some other form, I’m curious what Miss Manners would recommend.

While in college, I spent a school break with my roommate, Jenna, and her family. After dinner one evening, Jenna went to wash the dishes, and I joined her (there was no dishwasher).

As we were finishing up, Jenna’s mother picked up a dish from the drying rack and scolded Jenna for not washing it properly. Well, I was actually the one who’d washed the dish badly. (I’d been spoiled most of my life by dishwashers and, more recently, the college meal service.)

I didn’t say so, though, and neither did Jenna. Maybe I didn’t want to own up to my mistake, but I also thought it would embarrass Jenna’s mom to find out she’d accidentally scolded a guest.

Was I right to keep quiet and let Jenna take the fall for the poor dishwashing, or should I have admitted it was my fault?

GENTLE READER: You did the right thing in the moment, and Miss Manners agrees it was not an easy call. But she is sorry to say that you missed the extra credit: apologizing to Jenna privately later, and explaining why you did not come to her defense. This would have diffused any betrayal Jenna might have been feeling. But more importantly, it would have given her the satisfaction of then complaining to her mother that she embarrassed a guest -- which might have stung, when embarrassing her daughter evidently did not.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents started their family about 20 years after their siblings did, so our first cousins have several years on us.

At family gatherings as a young adult, I remember my cousins calling their aunts and uncles by their first names. My sister and I were expected to address our relatives using their titles, so for us to say “Mary, would you pass the salt?” rather than “Aunt Mary” never even crossed our minds.

My family could be very outspoken if they did not approve of something, and my elders never said anything about my cousins’ not using the titles. Still, I continued to address relatives by title through my 50s (I am now 60) and when reminiscing with my first and second cousins now.

Some of my second cousins have now stopped using the “aunt” and “uncle” titles. While it does bother me a bit in reference to my own parents, it didn’t bother them, so I shake it off as my being overly sensitive.

Does there come a point at which adult children are free to drop the titles when speaking to or about their aunts and uncles?

GENTLE READER: There came a point at which many aunts and uncles decided that being shown respect made them “feel old” -- as if they could otherwise disguise their ages -- and asked to have these titles dropped. Or parents who felt that way stopped teaching them.

Miss Manners finds those forms as charming as you do, and joins you in regretting that they are now infrequently used.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is planning, and paying for, a lovely but expensive wedding this fall. She would like to include a note in the information packet accompanying each invitation, whose wording we seek your help with.

She wants to indicate she and her fiance are staying up to date on social distancing recommendations, and would understand if people do not wish to attend the wedding for reasons of safety. But she also wants to state, in a polite but direct way, that the RSVP is essential to their planning so that they do not pay for guests who don’t show.

Have you any suggestions as to how she can word the note for maximum effect?

GENTLE READER: Here is how people interpret any attempt to say, “We’re inviting you, but you don’t have to come”: “They don’t really want me; they only want me to send a present.”

So forget that. It is up to your prospective guests to decide on their own whether to attend the wedding. They are certainly obligated to let you know their decisions, but as you and Miss Manners sadly know, many people rudely ignore invitations, sometimes even when they do actually intend to go.

Encouraging them to attend is, however, charming. In an informal letter, sent after the invitations, your daughter can note that she will be arranging social distancing and practicing other health precautions. That is the place to add a gentle nag to scofflaws: “We are hoping you will come, but haven’t yet heard.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)