DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have the pleasure of serving on a nonprofit board in my community for a volunteer program, which takes up a great deal of my time. I am entirely new to board membership -- being young and only recently graduated from college -- and am finding myself ignorant about how to proceed in certain cases.

One such case is before me: It’s been proposed that we add to the board a volunteer with our organization who, though personally pleasant and energetic, I find extremely difficult to work with. She has engaged in some really thoughtless spending with the nonprofit’s money, and created a paperwork fiasco that endangered our founding grant.

We have open meetings, so I find myself with the unlovely choices of announcing these qualms in front of her, going behind her back to tell other board members what I think privately, or standing aside from the vote. Or faking sick until the issue is resolved without me.

We live in quite a small community, and I am worried about antagonizing someone who has worked very hard for us, even though she often works very hard at doing things that we then spend time trying to fix. Do the rules of courtesy have any proposals for how to deal with such a case?

GENTLE READER: It is time to learn a phrase that is familiar to every board member with only slightly more experience than yourself: executive session.

This is the part of the meeting when the board sends away the nonmembers so they can talk about the staff (or anyone else) behind their backs.

Far from being something that board members apologize for, it is the time when they can carry out their primary duty of oversight, or, in this case, vetting the future leadership of the organization. Even nonprofits assert their ability to run “like a business,” and this is the time to prove it by expressing your concerns in an impersonal, matter-of-fact way.

Miss Manners will not, however, object if you conclude your remarks by saying what a nice, well-meaning person she is -- you just felt duty-bound to raise the issue of her past performance.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m part of a golf group on the weekends. We’re all friends. But there are six of us, we can only play a fivesome, and I was the latest addition to the group. A few members are VERY unreliable. One time, one of the guys opted out because of travel plans, and I was notified I was playing -- only to be dropped at the last minute when his plans changed. No class.

GENTLE READER: Indeed. Miss Manners would have expected your group to come to an understanding about a regular rotation, but she has no objection to a seniority rule if it works for the members.

However, last-minute invitations are hurtful enough without the additional rejection of rescinding them. This is true even if the activity does not involve clubs or high-speed projectiles.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please provide a polite, subject-closing way to let people know I have no intention of joining the world of social media. People become quite angry when I say this, presumably because they think I am judging them for wasting time.

I am a teacher, and my profession depends on discretion and moral behavior: two items not readily in evidence on social media.

GENTLE READER: As a teacher, you no doubt recognize that Liam has to attend class, study and pass the exam before he can forget everything you tried to teach him. Etiquette is equally reluctant to skip to the final bell by providing an opening response that closes the subject.

Several answers, none final, as to why you do not participate in social media include: “I just don’t have the time,” “I’m not particularly interested,” and “I don’t really enjoy it.”

If you repeat these often enough, without elaborating, you will wear down your inquisitor. And you will avoid the consequences of telling someone that you consider the thing they cherish most to be indiscreet -- and worse.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The science on wearing masks seems inconclusive, leading to near-religious zealotry on both sides. In public, there is no way to avoid taking a side. Governors, mayors, news anchors and doctors appear on TV hectoring the public to wear masks, while not wearing them themselves.

I can see why people dismiss such guidance and feel the need to take the matter into their own hands. Individuals who would ordinarily mind their own business now feel empowered to demand others accommodate their views.

What is a person to do when confronted in public by busybodies who disagree with their choice?

GENTLE READER: It was to avoid such problems that quarantines used to be (and still have been) given the force of law. When they come in the form of guidance, the best defense for an individual is still citing authority, as in, “I’m doing it because the CDC says it will protect your health.”

Miss Manners cautions against trying to reason with those who prefer the medical advice of politicians and news anchors to that of doctors. The only conflict remaining, then, is with those who are against social distancing -- so removing oneself from their vicinity serves a double purpose.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would it be bad etiquette to publicly shame a father who is trying to back out of paying child support? I know people have different reasons, but this person has a trust fund that could cover payments in harder times. Should we bring back some form of public shaming, or do we have to relegate that to the “good old days” and let deadbeat dads just go along their way?

GENTLE READER: Public shaming is a lethal weapon, often cruelly used, and Miss Manners urges you to be mindful of the details. Governments who publish lists of citizens arrested for driving under the influence only do so with good evidence to support the assertion.

The facts around divorces are not always so transparent to third parties. If you are not sure, avoiding his company yourself is less risky than challenging him about it at a cocktail party.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A co-worker of mine, who I work with closely, doesn’t seem to take her own protection seriously, nor the protection of those around her.

We work in radiology with patients. She does mammograms, bone density scans and X-rays. I, being a guy, can only do X-rays and bone density.

We have precautions like wearing a mask at all times in the building, other than when eating in the break area; washing hands; and taking our temperatures upon arrival of shift.

Today, another careless instance in a long line of them: She forgot to take her temperature when she arrived, realized it 2 1/2 hours later, and still went in to scan a patient. I tracked down the person taking temperatures, then went to the room my co-worker was in to tell her where to meet this person. I knocked on the door and tried to shout through, but my co-worker is hard of hearing, so I ended up cracking the door to give her the message.

Shortly after, she got after me for knocking on the door while she was doing a mammogram. She said not to disturb her unless the building was burning down. I countered that she needed to have her temperature taken before she saw the patient -- as soon as she realized she had forgotten. A minute later, she took off her mask at the desk right next to me, opened a bag of corn chips and started to eat them. Not in the break room, but at the workstation. When she was finished, she continued to work next to me without a mask.

I’ve asked her many times to go into our break area to eat, but she does not seem to care. She routinely takes her mask off, puts her fingers in her mouth, coughs into her hands and takes care of patients only using hand sanitizer, rarely washing her hands.

I don’t know how to get through to her without hurting her feelings, and I don’t wish to get her written up. Where do I go from here?

GENTLE READER: OK, that is an emergency. You go to your supervisor, putting the welfare of those patients -- and of yourself -- over the feelings and job rating of someone who is menacing them and you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you provide some advice on an effective, polite way to tell a close relative who constantly corrects minor grammatical errors or pronunciations to buzz off? She interrupts people regularly to correct them. I’m sure she believes she is providing a public service, but no one else regards it that way.

GENTLE READER: If you can say so pleasantly, Miss Manners will allow you to announce, “Ah! Lady Autocorrect herself!” when this happens. As picky people hate autocorrect, this should discourage her.

But the real comeuppance will be when your relative makes a mistake of her own, which she is bound to do, and you say, “Really? I always thought it was ...,” politely stating the correct version.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)