DEAR MISS MANNERS: A co-worker of mine, who I work with closely, doesn’t seem to take her own protection seriously, nor the protection of those around her.

We work in radiology with patients. She does mammograms, bone density scans and X-rays. I, being a guy, can only do X-rays and bone density.

We have precautions like wearing a mask at all times in the building, other than when eating in the break area; washing hands; and taking our temperatures upon arrival of shift.

Today, another careless instance in a long line of them: She forgot to take her temperature when she arrived, realized it 2 1/2 hours later, and still went in to scan a patient. I tracked down the person taking temperatures, then went to the room my co-worker was in to tell her where to meet this person. I knocked on the door and tried to shout through, but my co-worker is hard of hearing, so I ended up cracking the door to give her the message.

Shortly after, she got after me for knocking on the door while she was doing a mammogram. She said not to disturb her unless the building was burning down. I countered that she needed to have her temperature taken before she saw the patient -- as soon as she realized she had forgotten. A minute later, she took off her mask at the desk right next to me, opened a bag of corn chips and started to eat them. Not in the break room, but at the workstation. When she was finished, she continued to work next to me without a mask.

I’ve asked her many times to go into our break area to eat, but she does not seem to care. She routinely takes her mask off, puts her fingers in her mouth, coughs into her hands and takes care of patients only using hand sanitizer, rarely washing her hands.

I don’t know how to get through to her without hurting her feelings, and I don’t wish to get her written up. Where do I go from here?

GENTLE READER: OK, that is an emergency. You go to your supervisor, putting the welfare of those patients -- and of yourself -- over the feelings and job rating of someone who is menacing them and you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you provide some advice on an effective, polite way to tell a close relative who constantly corrects minor grammatical errors or pronunciations to buzz off? She interrupts people regularly to correct them. I’m sure she believes she is providing a public service, but no one else regards it that way.

GENTLE READER: If you can say so pleasantly, Miss Manners will allow you to announce, “Ah! Lady Autocorrect herself!” when this happens. As picky people hate autocorrect, this should discourage her.

But the real comeuppance will be when your relative makes a mistake of her own, which she is bound to do, and you say, “Really? I always thought it was ...,” politely stating the correct version.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In this day of staying home and isolating because of the coronavirus, what is a polite way to tell people it is time for them to leave?

I am a secret introvert who enjoys people, as long as there is some kind of interesting conversation. Ordinarily, when the party dies out, the dinner with friends starts to quiet or the social drink on the patio runs out of conversation, I have always been able to pull off the “I have a headache” or “I have to get up early” excuse.

Of course, those ploys don’t work now; everyone knows I have nowhere to be in the morning, and I don’t want anyone to worry that my headache is a coronavirus symptom.

GENTLE READER: Even trusting that the company was properly vetted, and that they are starved for face-to-face socializing, Miss Manners sympathizes with you.

But you should not have been making excuses. As a guest, you are supposed to make the first signs of leaving, and should merely say how much you enjoyed yourself and that you look forward to seeing everyone again. And then you leave.

But you seem to be the host, virtual or actual, and under no circumstances are hosts supposed to cite their own need to clear the house. Fortunately, they are allowed to worry about the well-being of the guests.

Say, “Well, we’ve been so happy to see you, but I know you must be tired.” In person, the essential part is to stand up when you say it, and keep standing until they get to their feet, at which point you can graciously walk them to the door. Online, you need only wave and end the meeting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Isn’t it proper to lift a chair instead of dragging it across the floor? That’s what my father told me. A friend doesn’t understand why the tenant below her yells up at her when she drags a chair across the floor. She calls him old and grumpy.

GENTLE READER: Thus adding insult to injury.

Miss Manners observes that you are having the wrong debate. The relevant question is, “Is it proper to annoy your neighbor?” and the answer is “No.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 90-year-old father, who has declined a bit cognitively with age, has a habit of striking up conversations with strangers. He tries to joke or make a comment in a good-natured way, but what he says can be unintentionally rude.

For example, he said, “I like to find people who look older than me” to a gentleman who was obviously at least 20 years his junior. In this particular instance, my siblings and I were caught off guard and could not come up with a suitable reply in a timely way.

What kind of response might offset the impact of my father’s inappropriate remarks without chastising my father for what he meant as a pleasant way to start a conversation?

GENTLE READER: A double job requires double smiles. Miss Manners suggests saying, “Father is a master of irony” while smiling apologetically at his target and then turning around to smile at him.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please help! We sent out 220 wedding invitations; got back 175 yeses; then the wedding venue in San Francisco shut down in March with eight days’ notice! We desperately tried to find an alternate venue without success, and ended up canceling and calling all guests to tell them it was canceled.

Fortunately, most out-of-town wedding guests were able to get airfare/hotels refunded. (No refunds for the wedding venue, caterers, etc., but we could reschedule with little additional cost.)

IF and WHEN things open, how should we handle the rescheduling? Specifically, reinvite all guests? Reinvite only those who RSVPed yes?

GENTLE READER: If the wedding is held with only immediate family present, Miss Manners suggests sending an announcement afterward, which can also serve as a pledge for a future celebration, to which all the guests should be reinvited:

Dr. Lily Jean Appletree

and

Mr. Conrad Mark Simpkins

announce their marriage

on Thursday, June 25

Superior Court

Reception to follow when possible

The letters of thanks for the presents already received should make it clear that nothing more is warranted: “Conrad and I were so dismayed that we weren’t able to have the ceremony with everybody there. We do hope that we will see you at the reception when it is rescheduled. In the meantime, thank you for the handsome antique pie slicer. We have been testing out many and various different pies to see which one it slices best. I say cherry.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My dear mother’s death is sadly approaching, and it will be up to me to write her obituary.

I know that “she was preceded in death by her husband, (insert Dad’s name)” is the first thing to add after the date she passed. Then comes the trouble spot for me: “She is survived by ...” Do I include daughters/sons-in-law? How about nieces/nephews-in-law? Both my brother and sister are married, but I am not. There are no big rifts in our family right now, so I don’t want to cause one.

What would be the correct wording? “She is survived by her son, Abelard, and his wife, Heloise”? “She is survived by her son, Abelard, and daughter-in-law, Heloise”? Please note that Heloise is easily offended, which is certainly not what I want when this sad time arrives.

GENTLE READER: The proper wording is to list pertinent family members in relation to the deceased. In this case, it would be, “She is survived by her son, Abelard, and daughter-in-law, Heloise.” Unfortunately, Miss Manners is afraid that if Heloise is prone to being offended, she will likely find cause no matter how you phrase it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)