DEAR MISS MANNERS: As social distancing continues, my more extroverted friends are getting antsy and sending texts asking to “pop by” to drop off a homemade treat. What is the most polite way to say, “No thanks”? My old go-to was, “Oh, that is so thoughtful, but we have plans and will be out,” but that obviously won’t work anymore.

GENTLE READER: ”Oh, that is so thoughtful, but our plans now are to stay in, so we won’t be able to see you.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My elderly mother has had a stroke and multiple falls, resulting in broken bones, and is suffering from dementia. Our family wants to honor her wishes and keep her in her own home for as long as we can. This is made possible because my sister, our wonderful stepfather and myself are all actively involved in her day-to-day care. We also have the support of daily in-home help, along with regular visits from a nurse and two different therapists.

We are so grateful for this outside help: These workers are invariably kind and patient with Mom, which can be difficult, as she is stubborn and often cranky. We probably could not maintain her in-home care without them.

These outside helpers are also invariably professional -- except that they all call my mother, to her face, “darling,” “sweetheart” or “dear.” It makes me furious. In her day, Mom was a union organizer who negotiated contracts for workers all over our state. She ran political campaigns for top state elected officials, and raised three children as a single mother. To say the patronizing way they address her chafes at me is a real understatement.

I haven’t said anything to her caretakers -- yet. Part of me worries I am overreacting to a show of affection, and another part of me is sitting here stewing because I just overheard her occupational therapist call her “sweetheart.” I want to scream, “She is not your sweetheart! She is a retired professional woman, and at the end of her life, she has earned your respect! Call her Mrs. Jones!”

Please either talk me off the ceiling or give me permission to speak to her caregivers.

GENTLE READER: Please come down from the ceiling. Snapping at people never helps, and you should especially not be attacking those whose service and dedication you value.

Nevertheless, Miss Manners sympathizes with your annoyance. And you needn’t cite your mother’s resume to justify her being addressed in the manner that she has always considered dignified. You need merely say that she is used to that form of address, and prefers it. “You know, it is the old-fashioned way,” you can confide charmingly. You should slip this in with appreciation, on behalf of the family, for their care.

The correction won’t always hold, of course. The habit of expressing concern with those endearments is strong, and few people now understand the importance of dignity.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I voted Republican in the 2016 presidential election. When did it become socially acceptable to blurt out unsolicited political jokes or remarks? If I did not ask to hear your opinion, I simply don’t want to hear it. This is a very basic social skill that millennials have chosen to abandon.

I have been in a Bible study at my church for about a year and a half now, and everyone in my group is a young adult. I’m not going to try to dictate what people want to talk about before or after the group discussion. If two or three people want to talk about politics during this time, I can join another conversation.

However, when the leader is talking during the group discussion, and 10 to 15 people are forced to listen to this person, it is simply impossible to disengage or start another conversation with someone else.

The leader might say something like, “As Christians, we don’t pray in the name of Godzilla or Donald Trump.” Some people find unsolicited political jokes like this funny, while others do not.

We are a Bible study, not a political organization. I fail to see how comments like this are necessary or even relevant. They are simply rude, inconsiderate and inappropriate. At least 55% of the people in the Bible study are Trump supporters or don’t strongly dislike him; the remaining 45% can’t stand him.

I’m at a loss as to what to do. I understand that people aren’t perfect, and I’m willing to tolerate an occasional annoying comment. Every human probably has at least one personal characteristic that others find annoying.

However, if the leaders keep saying comments like this, I think it might be time for me to leave this group. I think ghosting is cowardly, but I’m tired of explaining how people should act. I no longer have patience for adults who refuse to act appropriately for their age, whether it’s people I date or just friends in general. What is your take on this?

GENTLE READER: That you have a good subject for Bible study. There is a great deal in there about how to treat other people.

Miss Manners suggests you begin setting an example by refraining from criticizing your leader directly -- or condemning entire generations -- but instead talking about the temptation, in these politically volatile times, to jeer -- or worse -- at those with whom we disagree. It might be interesting to the group to examine the virtues and discuss the difficulties of practicing compassion and kindness.

If the response includes cracks about any faction or person, then yes: Find another group.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Social distancing due to COVID-19 is leading me to consider using restaurant delivery services for the first time. I am not sure what to tip, though.

Where I live, restaurant servers get minimum wage, so the normal server tip here is 15%. Should I tip that much to the delivery driver, or is it normally a flat fee sort of tip?

GENTLE READER: “Normally” does not apply right now. The driver is taking a risk in order to minimize your risk; Miss Manners asks you to give whatever you can.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was invited to two weddings that were indefinitely postponed due to the coronavirus outbreak. Unfortunately, both couples are in careers where their work schedules make it difficult to reschedule the weddings.

I had not yet bought presents for either wedding, as one was still a ways out, and the other, I was only invited to one day before it was canceled. I am trying to decide if I should send a present now, or wait until the wedding is rescheduled.

What is the proper etiquette for this unexpected situation? One couple has been married legally for over a year anyway, and the other is a stable couple, so I fully expect both will reschedule.

GENTLE READER: While you are not obligated to send wedding presents, a show of good faith that these weddings will take place eventually would certainly be welcome.

Presumably, even the issuers of the last-minute invitation are people who mean something to you, and it would mean something to them to be remembered during this difficult time.

That is not to say that Miss Manners does not appreciate your hesitance -- not only in sending presents without assurance that a wedding will occur, but also with the fear that if you send a present now, it could easily be forgotten later. (Miss Manners wishes she were less cynical, but she has seen too many wedding couples who unabashedly go after their guests if they think a present is owed.)

However, she is also inclined to be generous -- particularly now -- and therefore proposes a compromise. Why not send a small token that shows that you are thinking of these couples? Something that takes their minds off of their situation and allows them to focus instead on their current time together?

A unique board game, for example, or a home or craft project. If the unintended effect is that their competitive spirits, disparate interests or too much time together instead drive them apart, you may have no need to send a more substantial present later. But of course, Miss Manners sincerely wishes that that will not be the case.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a senior male who was recently having lunch at the counter of a family restaurant. After my meal arrived, two younger men came in and sat on either side of me. They obviously knew each other, and began a conversation with me while I was in the middle trying to finish my lunch.

They then proceeded to pass a cellphone to each other, over my plate, to show pictures of a car wreck that one had been involved in.

Mind you, there were plenty of empty seats at the counter on either side of them. They could have easily moved and sat next to each other. I felt this was extremely rude. What should I have said?

GENTLE READER: “I was planning on eating alone today, and I seem to be in the way of your conversation. I think I will move so that you can more easily talk to each other -- and that I am not in the way of your elbows.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)