DEAR MISS MANNERS: My father-in-law has been overstepping the boundaries of my personal space for as long as I’ve been with my husband. He is a very curious person, but he exercises his curiosity in my home without permission to the point where I’m uncomfortable and bothered by his behavior.

My personal workspace is not in the main flow of the house. He lingers, looks around and picks up papers without asking. Instead of socializing, he will wander the house, picking up and examining everything -- touching all my belongings (including my instruments).

I would never in a million years take such liberties in someone’s home. Then there are his attempts to be helpful in taking on tasks without permission or being asked -- like planting a tree or digging up a concrete sidewalk in our backyard.

I’m losing my mind, and feel there is no solution. After years of this behavior on his part, I dislike him, and dread the times he stays in my home.

GENTLE READER: Where does your husband stand in all of this? Presumably not in the backyard, or he would have noticed the sidewalk being dug up. Miss Manners suggests that you enlist his help in setting parameters for your father-in-law’s behavior -- and in the meantime, invest in some secure locks.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I went to bat for a former hardworking colleague and acquaintance, and it resulted in a better job with a 10% raise for her.

Ever since then, we’ve been in near-daily contact and we seemed to have forged a good friendship. I recently gave her $100 cash and my well wishes for her impending cross-country wedding, to which I was not invited. From my understanding, it was a small to-do thrown by her in-laws.

Later, on social media, I saw photo after photo of the wedding, along with a statement thanking her friends and loved ones for making it to the celebration.

The event seemed to be attended by dozens of friends. I felt hurt, thinking we were closer.

What does etiquette dictate in this situation? Do I ask why I was not invited? Or do I move on?

GENTLE READER: Given the professional and transactional nature of this relationship, it is quite possible that the bride considers you solely a work friend. Or the invitations to her wedding were sent out before you two became close. Or some combination of the two.

Miss Manners finds that those lines so often get blurred. The general rule is that if your interactions never existed outside of work hours -- or could be considered a tax write-off -- then it does not qualify as a true friendship, however pleasant the collegial relationship.

Miss Manners does not recommend that you ask the newlywed about the wedding. Instead, if you are still interested in pursuing the relationship, invite her and her new husband to dinner, making sure that you stay outside of work -- both in location and in topics of conversation.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I do not own a smartphone. I have many good reasons why I want to keep it that way.

Apparently, it is now considered socially acceptable to “phone-shame” people, i.e., to make unsolicited, borderline-insulting comments about “joining the 21st century,” “evolving beyond stone knives and bearskins” and other similarly maladroit attempts at cleverness.

What is your suggestion for a firm and polite response that has just the right degree of iciness to point out the inappropriateness of the comment?

GENTLE READER: “I want to be able to remain fully attentive for conversations such as these.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a classic coffee addict, drinking two or three cups per day. My standard for quality coffee is not exceptionally high, but my brother buys truly terrible stuff. He is cost-conscious and buys bottom-of-the-barrel cheap coffee. He also usually has presweetened artificial creamer. I prefer a glug of plain ol’ half-and-half.

When visiting him (I usually stay for several days), I would like to bring my own provisions. How can I do this without offending? Should I be honest and tell him his coffee is pretty bad? We are close enough that it would not be detrimental to our relationship. Should I ask him to excuse my pickiness? Or should I bring some fancy, locally roasted, high-end coffee as a “gift”?

GENTLE READER: Since this is your brother, you may do any combination of those suggestions, as long as you do it with good humor and respect. It is his house, and he may love the coffee he chooses.

Blaming it on your own pickiness, even if it is a ruse, may be the best course. If, however, this brings up old sibling rivalries, references to “The Odd Couple” or childish monikers (e.g., “ol’ Fancy Pants with that $10 coffee”), kindly do not blame Miss Manners.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I was hospitalized and had a spinal tap, my boyfriend of over a year did not come to visit me a single time. After I was well enough to inquire as to his absence, he told me he did not come to visit me when I was ill because he was not invited. This is very odd to me, as we have a relationship that has never required an invitation to see each other before. Your thoughts?

GENTLE READER: While having no idea how serious you and your beau are after one year, Miss Manners suspects that to him, this may have been one of those pivotal points in the relationship where he was not sure where he stood. Either that or he is terrified of needles.

Before delving into more repercussive territory, Miss Manners recommends you start by assuming the latter. If the relationship otherwise gets more serious, you may help him to see the importance of being present during serious situations -- and getting over any phobias, physical or otherwise, that would inhibit that.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Due to health issues, my husband and I drastically changed our diet, with amazing results. We cook our own meals and avoid eating out, because when we do, we end up with stomach issues.

I work with a great team at my job, and our management likes to reward us with lunch often. I have tried to politely decline, explaining my limited diet, but encourage them to take the rest of my teammates out. This usually ends awkwardly, and often management decides not to do the lunch at all.

How can I express to management that I am grateful they appreciate my work, but do not want to eat out -- without it costing my co-workers?

GENTLE READER: Employers who routinely stomp over the line between the professional and personal lives of their employees are a menace. But Miss Manners notes that your problem would still exist in a purely personal context: Most cultures recognize sharing a meal as a social affirmation -- and therefore the refusal to do so as a potential insult.

So let us find a solution that does not leave a bad taste in your mouth, and perhaps worse symptoms later.

The simplest is to attend but be selective about your food consumption. If there is nothing edible for you, perhaps break a breadstick and leave it on your plate, while drinking lots of water. If this attracts attention, smile, say how wonderful everything looks, but that you simply don’t feel like eating. Full disclosure is not always the virtue it pretends to be.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m in my mid 20s and in grad school, and money is tight. Last month, I was invited to two weddings; one I attended, and the other I declined.

I gave gifts for both weddings, and instead of picking items off of their registries, I chose another option they had offered: giving cash electronically through well-known wedding registry services.

I gave $100 to each couple. I realize that is a small wedding gift, but my income barely covers my cost of living. For me, spending an extra $200 in one month is a lot.

It is now more than a month after both weddings, and I have not received thank-you notes from either wedding party. I’m a little bit miffed -- mostly because of the impact my gifts had on me for that month.

I’m left wondering: Was it the amount I gave? Is $100 too little? Do e-gifts get treated differently than physical gifts? Or are wedding thank-you cards just a thing of the past?

I’m just a little surprised, because if it were my wedding, my mother wouldn’t let me get away with NOT sending thank-you notes for all gifts, no matter how small.

GENTLE READER: She would also not, Miss Manners hopes, let you give cash in lieu of something more thoughtful. When she (or Miss Manners) says, “The cost does not matter,” what she means is: The cost does not matter. An inexpensive thoughtful gift is as valuable as an expensive thoughtful gift, and both require acknowledgment.

And, if you are concerned that your friends are rude because they believe you are cheap, a non-monetary gift is harder for them to price.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)