DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine asked me to join her and another friend in starting a podcast. This was about 10 months ago. I did join, somewhat reluctantly.

I told them in the beginning that I did not like discussing my private life on a global platform. Eventually, I started becoming irritated with my friend, which led to my leaving the podcast abruptly, via text.

She was upset with me and I think we are no longer friends. I did apologize, via text, that I was sorry for the way I handled the situation. To be frank, I think I should not have started the podcast in the first place.

But anyway, if I come across this friend in social circles -- we have some friends in common, who occasionally go out to dinner together -- what should I do? Should I approach her and smile, as if nothing happened? Should I cower in the corner, afraid she will throw a drink in my face? Should I pull her aside and say “Look, I just want to make sure we are OK”? Should I wait for her to make the first move?

And what do I tell our mutual friends? I am worried they will choose sides, as people often do in situations like this. Should I try to get them to see my side, or just not bring it up?

GENTLE READER: Public feuds are not much fun, so Miss Manners would advise you not to start one. Especially as you are the one who abruptly walked out, and thus unlikely to inspire sympathy. Apologizing by text is minimal for leaving someone in the lurch.

So not only should you avoid starting a scene, but you should be careful not to provoke one from your former friend. The demeanor to follow is Proceed With Caution. Greet her pleasantly, but be prepared to back away if she is cold to you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am attending a bridal shower for which the bride is registered online. The request is to directly ship gifts to the couple, as they are intending to move, and would like to pick the shipping date of the gifts.

Because I am sending the gift to their home, what do I bring to the shower? A card? A gadget for their kitchen or tool kit? Nothing? Is it appropriate to walk in empty-handed? That seems a little weird.

GENTLE READER: If people are going to insist on taking all of the spontaneity out of present-giving not only by dictating the merchandise, but also by setting its timeline and means of delivery, Miss Manners can hardly muster sympathy for them when their guests obey their rules and show up empty-handed.

Miss Manners realizes that this couple is probably not deserving of her wrath -- and that they are merely being practical. But since “practical” is what has led others like them to register for everything from mortgages to funeral plots, she is rapidly running out of patience.

A card with a heartfelt note would be lovely. (But do not be insulted if you witness them shaking it down to see if there is a check inside.)

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I found myself in an awkward situation on a business trip with a colleague whose mobility is impaired due to bad knees. Our hotel was just a block from our workspace, so we did not have a car.

Midweek, we met up with some other colleagues for dinner at a restaurant about a half-mile away, which is quite easily walkable for me, but not my colleague. She asked if we could split a cab, and I said yes, suggesting she get the fare on the way to the restaurant and I get it on the way back.

However, had it been just me, I would have walked both ways and saved the money. How could I have told her politely that I would have preferred to walk and that perhaps she should get the fare both ways?

GENTLE READER: By telling her from the beginning that you preferred to walk, before any unseemly talk of payment became relevant. But Miss Manners would have taken the cab, just to avoid calling attention to your colleague’s problem.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: An artist that I met once long ago and bought a painting from contacted me through social media. He said that he wanted to send me some small items, as he was thinking of me, and asked for my address. Although I didn’t want anything from him and tried to gently dissuade him, he was adamant, so I did send my address.

When I received the package he sent, it contained some tea that his community makes, along with a thick stack of postcards of his work -- and a note asking me to sell the postcards in order for him to make money to print more postcards.

Although the postcards of his work are very nice, I have no way or desire to sell them for him, nor do I really want them for myself. Could you please suggest what I do with them? I am at a loss.

What seemed at first to be a gift is now a burden of time and finance. Do I return the postcards and the tea? Send him $20 and wash my hands of everything? Do I write him a polite note and tell him I have no way to sell anything for him, and ask what he’d like me to do with everything?

I don’t wish to hurt his feelings or burn a bridge, but this “gift” seems onerous. Help! What is the most polite way out of this situation?

GENTLE READER: Express thanks for the tea and leave it at that.

You owe this person nothing, Miss Manners assures you, except the money that you have already paid for his painting. These postcards were sent under false pretenses and are therefore not your problem.

When thanking him for the tea, you may add: “If anyone asks me about where I got the painting, I will give them one of your postcards to contact you. But I am afraid I am not in the business of brokering talent.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Upon being asked by my daughter’s future mother-in-law for my thoughts on a bridal shower, I texted my daughter before answering. The maid of honor is my 20-year-old, so I offered to pay for the bridal party to host a shower at a local, trendy brunch spot, inviting future MIL, daughter’s stepmother, and all grandmothers.

My daughter then let me know that she and her fiance preferred to ask her stepmother and father to host it at their house instead. I let her know that I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. When it wasn’t dropped, I was impolite and stated, “I love you, but I don’t love anyone enough to sit in Daddy’s house with his parents and family.”

I have always been a good co-parent. I made sure we all sat together at every school program and graduation since elementary school. We did college move-in days together. I made sure my girls’ sister from their stepmother’s first marriage was in every picture with my girls at these occasions.

However, this seemed a boundary I needed to draw, especially since the shower was not yet planned.

She asked her stepmother, and perhaps shared my response. Her stepmother then offered to host at a restaurant instead. I explained to my daughter that there was never any issue with coming together as a family, and an alternate location in the middle would have been fine from the start.

But she and her fiance are deeply hurt and feel as though I was not willing to “suck it up” to celebrate them, and that my issues “should not fall back on them because it’s not their fault.”

I certainly wasn’t refusing to see anybody, and had not expressed a negative opinion about having to see them at the wedding.

Besides the reactive, impolite way I set my boundary, have I demonstrated poor etiquette by preferring a more neutral location? I am struck by my daughter’s reaction and reminded her that she might need to take a step back and consider how I have always carried myself, and loved and supported her. On every other matter, I have told her that it’s her wedding and to do it her way. Please advise me on my missteps and what apologies I may owe.

GENTLE READER: Mistakes have been made, starting with the idea that any parents should be giving the bridal shower. Obeying that would solve the entire problem.

And it is a mistake to give your daughter the impression that she can have her way with her wedding without regard to other people’s feelings.

All that aside, you made a reasonable request. But Miss Manners fears that this may have negative repercussions. You will not want to be excluded from future family events “because of that thing with the shower.” So in the interest of family harmony, she suggests that you express thanks and mild apologies to both your daughter and her stepmother. Take comfort from knowing that Miss Manners absolves you from the rudeness of which you accuse yourself.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there an ungendered term for “hostess gift”?

GENTLE READER: Yes. “Gift.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)