DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend of several years and I are going to different colleges this fall, and will not see much of each other anymore. We want to keep in touch. I am close with her family; her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me.

Two years ago, we had an optional band trip, which cost right around $800. I was not going to go because my family couldn’t afford it, and then I was told that someone had paid the whole amount for me to go on the trip. I went and had a great time, especially with my friend.

After thinking about it, I realized that my friend’s parents were probably behind the anonymous gift, and my friend confirmed it when I asked. Should I acknowledge their generosity with a thank-you card?

It meant a lot to me that I got to go on that trip. And I feel that if I’m going to send a card, I should do it before I go to college. But it also has been two years, and since I wasn’t supposed to know it was them, I never said anything about it.

I don’t want to make them uncomfortable, since it was anonymous, but I also don’t want their generosity to go unrecognized. What would you suggest?

GENTLE READER: Circumstances have changed. Had you realized at the time that your friend’s parents were paying your expenses, you would have been obliged to protest. That is why they kept it from you.

But there is no question of that now. You have much for which to thank them -- not just the $800 -- and Miss Manners is pleased to see that you are eager to do so.

She trusts that you do not really mean to send a card -- some pre-printed thanks -- but a heartfelt letter. The thrust of it should be that they have been, as you said, like an aunt and uncle to you. You should mention your enjoyment of that trip as an example, adding that you were too naive at the time to realize that of course they were your benefactors.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My twin and I like to dress alike on Sundays, on holidays, when we go out of town, when we go on cruises, and at banquets. We are 65 years of age and very stylish. We were unable to do this when we were raising our children.

Apparently this annoys some people. We have had folks make rude remarks such as, “Are you still dressing alike?” I usually say that I did not get the memo.

Why do people care? Is there a rule out there that says we cannot dress alike at a certain age? We enjoy doing it and have similar tastes.

GENTLE READER: Why anyone should care is a good question, but so is why you should care what rude people say.

Miss Manners suggests a rehearsed response. Look intently at each other’s outfits as if seeing them for the first time, and say in unison, “I like your dress.” Even the silliest busybody should understand that you dress to please yourselves.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I moved to a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood. We’ve worked hard and saved for years, and it is a dream come true for us.

That being said, we know that for many in our social circle, hard work is just not enough. We recognize that we have been very lucky and privileged in so many ways that others have not.

When people visit for the first time, there’s usually a wide-eyed moment of “Wow! This is an amazing house/neighborhood!” I never know if I should just say “thank you” (though I certainly can’t take credit for the community’s beauty!) or something along the lines of “I know! Aren’t we lucky?” or “I’m glad you like it. We do, too!”

I also feel a little self-conscious, thinking that they are wondering how we can afford this, or maybe feeling jealous that we live like this when many of our friends are struggling.

A lot of old neighbors, friends and co-workers are asking to “come by and see the new place,” but I’m a little afraid to invite them because I don’t know how to behave. (So far, we’ve just hosted a few close friends and relatives.) How do I entertain without feeling like I’m showing off?

GENTLE READER: If you have good reason to believe that certain people begrudge you your pleasure in your new house, don’t invite them.

But Miss Manners hopes that you do not assume this to be the natural general reaction. Many people do not regard good fortune as a zero-sum game, and actually rejoice in the happiness of others. Really.

However, it is true that you could bring on a bad reaction by behaving as if you were a docent showing off a palace. The important thing is to treat your visitors as guests, not as tourists.

This means first inviting them to sit down and offering some refreshment. Your responses to their admiration of the house and neighborhood are fine, but you should not let this be the only topic of conversation. Tourists come specifically to see and learn about the attraction; guests should know that you also have an interest in them (although this is not the time to talk about their housing).

Eventually, they will ask to see the rest of the house, and you can oblige gracefully. It would be especially charming to ask their advice about any adjustments you contemplate making, which you are not obliged to follow.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend (we’re in our 60s) who lapses into baby talk. Mostly it is with her cat, and mine, but also in public, if we come across someone with an animal. It’s bad enough when she does it in private to our pets, but really annoying in public.

Do I just bite my tongue, or is there a little nudge that would bring this to her attention? I don’t think she realizes she is doing it.

GENTLE READER: Yeow.

Oops. That was not intended as kitty-cat talk, but only to indicate that Miss Manners shares your icky feeling about this. But your friend wasn’t talking to her -- or, for that matter, to you. You need only wait it out with a neutral, if not aloof, expression, as the cats are no doubt doing.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I enjoy cooking. I have lots of cookbooks, and I watch cooking shows and attend cooking seminars. My family and friends enjoy my meals and dishes, helping themselves to seconds and leaving clean plates.

They do not play with their food, cough their Brussels sprouts into their napkins or feed the dog to politely hide an inedible mystery meat.

And then there’s my husband. He will supplement my carefully and artfully prepared meals with almost anything he likes that’s not included. For example, I served shrimp and grits (a little Parmesan cheese and scallions on top) with a side of lemony roasted asparagus. He poured barbecue sauce on top and also added pinto beans, olives, Brazil nuts and blueberries.

When I have questioned him, he says that other chefs create unusual combinations -- as if he is a culinary trailblazer.

In actuality, it’s hurtful that he doesn’t like my meals and has to hide the taste or enhance the menu. It’s also, visually, a “gag” moment for others to watch him mix this mush together on his plate.

He shows more restraint when eating out, but can’t seem to resist the barbecue sauce urge. What can I do? I’m not sure I want to divorce him.

GENTLE READER: Well, could you decide before Miss Manners gives you a thoughtful response?

In the event that you choose to keep your husband -- if not his behavior -- make a deal with him. Limited experimentation by way of condiments or garnishes, not main ingredients, may take place with your food when you two are alone. But when you are in company, this habit must be limited to changes agreed upon in advance.

You may further remind him that he always has the option of making the meal himself, start to finish.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Depending on the situation, there are times when I have wanted to scream at people for their lethargic response to a request for help or for an answer to a query. Because I was desperate for the help or for the answer, I never said a word, because I could not afford to alienate the person.

If I am correct, you once wrote that you did not like the expression “I’ve been busy” because it implies, “I have a full life (and you do not).” Having made me wait a very long time and then hearing the excuse “I’ve been busy,” I want to reply, “Doing what?”

I realize that in some cases, a better excuse for the delayed help or answer would be, “It took so long because I really didn’t want to help you.” As I am sure you can tell, I am trying to type my frustration away as I request your help.

What is a polite verbal and/or written (when it is email) response to someone who gives the “I’ve been busy” excuse without providing any detailed explanation?

GENTLE READER: “Of course I understand. I will refrain from making any more urgent requests until your schedule is more freed up.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)