DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have several friends who come to my house repeatedly for visits of two to four days, and are very picky about what they like and don’t like, food-wise.

One only likes Greek yogurt for breakfast, and another can’t stand Greek yogurt (they are both at my house for the same visit). One complains every time we go out that there is something wrong with the food, or there is something she doesn’t like: She has complained about the smell of the restaurant when walking in, the attitude of the waitress, and on and on.

I know having both kinds of yogurt available is easy, but I am exhausted by these friends and all their pickiness.

GENTLE READER: “I never seem to be able to please you all when it comes to meals, either at my house or going to restaurants. I wonder if you could confer before our next visit and work out what sort of food would appeal to all.”

Miss Manners warns that dinner might then be the entrails from the bloody battle that ensues, but at least you will have extracted yourself from the problem -- and cannot be blamed for its seemingly impossible solution.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few years ago, my husband’s brother died suddenly. He had a developmental disability and lived his entire life with my husband’s parents.

At the time of his death, my husband and I were traveling with our two young children, who were 1 and 4. We decided my husband would go to the funeral, which was also out of town, while I returned home with our children.

At the time, I was very supportive of my husband in handling his grief. However, I may not have given the same level of support to my in-laws. They do not remember my calling to express my condolences.

The time was so hectic and sad that I honestly cannot say with certainty if I did or did not call, although it would be out of the ordinary for me not to. And my family (parents, sister and I) all sent a floral arrangement to the funeral. My attention, though, was solely directed at my very sad husband and our young children. The family is apparently quite upset with me at this perceived slight.

I just have to know: If I did not call, was this a major faux pas? If so, how major? Any chance I can repair it? How would you recommend I do so? This continues to follow me years later.

GENTLE READER: Oh dear. That’s a large build-up of resentment.

Miss Manners’ least favorite excuse, however good the intention may have been, is being too busy or distracted to acknowledge a major family event or tragedy. A call would have been easy. A letter would have been better.

It is not too late to write one now. Apologize profusely, speaking affectionately and specifically about their son and avoiding the temptation to make excuses --especially the one that states that you thought the task had already been done.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been married to a wonderful man for the past 10 years. We have a beautiful child together.

While my marriage is wonderful, I have an issue with my mother and my mother-in-law. For the past 10 years, my mother has listened to me vent about my mother-in-law. I have overlooked a lot of inappropriate comments from my mother-in-law toward myself and my child. She has four kids of her own, whom she does not treat fairly. My mother has been my sounding board and my support, as a mother should be.

My issue is that now, my mother has decided she is going to be personal friends with my mother-in-law. They are currently planning a trip together.

I am upset about this, and I feel she should always support her daughter. Keep in mind, my mother has told people things when she has been sworn to secrecy. Her comments seem to “slip” into her conversations. I am concerned that information regarding myself and my child will be told.

GENTLE READER: Take this as an opportunity to have an extra ally.

Miss Manners suggests that you invite them over together as much as possible -- and certainly ahead of their trip. That way, you can partake in, or at least be privy to, any inside jokes and embarrassing stories, and reduce, or at least manage, the possibility of divulging secrets.

In the event of a slip-up, a stern warning uttered to your mother in a fun and friendly way (“Oh no, Mom, you don’t want to share that! You wouldn’t want Brenda to think that you didn’t bring me up right, would you?”) will serve as fair warning -- and assure her that two can play this game.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know that proper etiquette dictates that a friend, rather than a family member, throws a baby shower, but my sister is pregnant and her best friend lives in another city.

Although she has friends in our city, most are men, and I’m skeptical that any will think to be the one to host the shower. I believe many of these friends would be more than happy to host the shower, I just don’t think it will occur to them independently to volunteer.

Is it appropriate for me, as sister of the mother-to-be, to reach out to one of my sister’s friends and ask if they’d be interested in hosting a baby shower? I know my sister would like one, and it seems more appropriate for me to find a host than for her to have to ask someone herself.

GENTLE READER: No one should ever be coerced into being a host. However, given these extenuating circumstances, Miss Manners will allow you to enlist the help of one of your sister’s friends to serve as honorary host on one condition: The friend is not given the privilege of footing the bill -- or even half of it -- unless it is genuinely offered.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in a profession where I meet with clients for an hour or more in a small conference room. I have severe asthma triggered by fragrances and smoke, especially cigarette smoke.

I send a polite welcoming letter to new clients, asking them not to use scented products before coming to see me. Some ignore my request, while others try, but they use so much fragrance regularly that their clothing still reeks of it, even if they did not apply it before coming to my office.

Today, I’m having a severe reaction to cigarette smoke that’s clinging to my clothing and hair after I met with potential clients who are heavy smokers. The only physical contact I had with them was shaking their hands, but hours later, I’m still wheezing and coughing, my eyes are burning, my nose is running, my throat is scratchy and I can still smell it. This can cascade into a serious asthmatic illness.

I don’t know a polite way to tell them I can’t accept them as my clients. I have a specialty that very few people in my profession have locally, and they consulted me for my particular expertise. I feel terrible telling them I cannot accept their case, but this is affecting my health and ability to work. How do I politely tell potential new clients that I cannot work with smokers or people who wear overpowering fragrances?

GENTLE READER: Etiquette has not yet devised a way to decline a potential client for smelling bad. This may be a failure of imagination, but it is immaterial as one can instead claim that their case is too difficult (it would require more commitment of time than you currently have), too simple (and could be handled by someone without your skills), or too something else.

These are merely examples; Miss Manners relies on your expertise in the field to find ones that will fit. It does give her pause that such non-explanations have been misused historically to turn people away for reasons that were less understandable (race, gender and politics, to name a few).

And it makes her wonder -- not only for the customer who is otherwise left without your services, but also for your business -- if there is not a solution involving a larger conference room, a better air filtration system, or an open window. Or telecommunication?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance of 15 years has a son who recently got married, and asked his dad and mother to sit together in the church during the wedding ceremony. I was asked to sit two rows behind them, with the mother’s boyfriend.

I did not agree with this. However, what is proper?

GENTLE READER: A 15-year engagement is unusual enough to distinguish it from the boyfriend your future stepson’s mother just met. But its very unusualness may mistakenly have led the son to conclude that you and he are unlikely to have any future, legal relationship.

Miss Manners would have had no objection to your asking your fiance to intervene, as long as you had been prepared for a polite no -- possibly defended as a need to have the many ceremony participants immediately accessible.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)