DEAR MISS MANNERS: In older films, one sees men shaking hands with women when they are introduced or when they meet casually.

How do you explain that now, men of all ages insist on kissing women on the cheek as a form of greeting? When and why did this custom develop?

GENTLE READER: Cheek kissing, previously relegated to intimate friends and relatives pre-World War II, started running rampant in the 1960s with the social revolution. Presumably, it was an attempt at ridding society of class distinctions. Unfortunately, those distinctions -- amongst acquaintances and in business situations -- only seem to apply to women, rarely men.

Miss Manners sincerely believes that a number of confusing and unwanted interactions could be avoided if we all agreed to keep our lips to ourselves, at least until some degree of intimacy is agreed upon. A second meeting would be a start.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For our wedding, my fiance and I chose to include not only family, but also friends and co-workers. We come from different cultures (South Asian and Russian), and in mine, individuals are not generally given a plus-one unless they are engaged or married.

This is something we were in agreement about when inviting individuals from both sides. Invitations were sent out several months ago (it will be a destination wedding for many), and the deadline is nearing.

Certain individuals from my work who originally RSVP’d as “yes,” and who were single at the time, are asking if they can bring a plus-one as they are in new relationships. Other co-workers were only given plus-ones if they were engaged, married or in domestic partnerships.

It puts me in an awkward place to say no. Additionally, our wedding is a formal, black-tie affair, and costs approximately $250 a plate. I don’t want to be rude or make someone upset that they cannot bring a date, but the additional costs associated make it difficult. (I am also not sure if I want strangers at the wedding.) There are other co-workers who are single and who are coming, who also were not given plus-ones.

How do we handle this without hurt feelings or being rude? Some of these co-workers have never been to a South Asian wedding, and want to share the experience with their significant others.

GENTLE READER: Not wanting to have strangers at your wedding does not have to be a parenthetical. As a rule, it far outweighs the one that involves you balking at the cost of having them.

That couples must be in a long-term and/or established relationship in order to be invited is perfectly reasonable. In fact, when it comes to secondary guests at your wedding (such as children and pets), Miss Manners allows you to make any criterion that you like -- as long as it is universal. And if that rule goes on to produce new engagements, by forcing your guests to socialize, your co-workers may then thank you -- or blame you -- for the push in that direction.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend got me a job at the company where she works -- a temp job for a few months’ time. It was a real help for me, and I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.

My friend is acting as my boss, and she is generally very nice. However, she told me that although she is my boss, I make more than her, and she feels pretty bad about it. I told her I was shocked to hear that and that they should pay her more, but I didn’t know what else to say.

Now I’m feeling terribly guilty and have an impulse to send her money, but I’m afraid if I did, it would be a passive-aggressive move. Is there anything else that can be done? I will be out of here soon anyway, and unemployed again.

GENTLE READER: Well, that should make her feel better.

There are so many things that are exceedingly wrong here and all for different reasons: that a temp would get paid more than a boss; that your friend would think it necessary to mention that to you; that you would feel that any of this is your fault -- and especially that you would think it your responsibility to send her money to make up for it.

Miss Manners finds the last one more confusing than passive-aggressive. Your best course would be to be supportive of your friend: either in her asking for a raise -- or helping her to find a better job.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: This afternoon, my spouse asked me to text our new roommate the location of the thermostat so he could turn on the air conditioner while we were out. I tried to, but accidentally sent the text to a completely different person (the dog groomer). I sent another text to her explaining the previous text should be ignored, and sent the original text on to the intended recipient.

But this got me wondering: Is there a specific etiquette rule on what to do if a message is sent to the wrong person? This text was innocuous, but I sometimes send racier texts to my spouse. What if one of those went astray?

GENTLE READER: This, it seems to Miss Manners, is an excellent argument for not sending saucy texts. But far be it from her to intrude on anyone’s fun.

If a wayward text is sent to the local hedge pruner instead of its intended recipient, a simple apology and redirect is all that is necessary. Convincing your spouse that the mistake was innocent, however, might be a bit more complicated.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are you required to invite the grandparents of the bride and groom to the rehearsal dinner?

GENTLE READER: What would be the advantage of not doing so?

Surely, excluding them in favor of your Color Palette Specialist and Cousin’s Ex-Girlfriend’s Roommate Who Also DJs will not be worth the family tension that will likely ensue.

Unless, however, Nana and Pop-Pop are given to voicing loud opinions on controversial subjects -- or your marital union. In that case, Miss Manners gives you permission to limit the dinner to only those standing up in, or essential to, the ceremony itself -- however you choose to define that.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was standing at the curb in front of a restaurant, and my attention was more focused on the parking lot than the front door, approximately 15 feet away from me. An older woman walked up to the door and said pointedly in my direction, “In my day, young men were expected to open doors for their elders.”

I do make a point of opening doors for ladies, the elderly, the disabled, people carrying or pushing things, etc., when I am passing through a door at nearly the same time as them, or am standing close to the door for some other reason.

Presumably, if I had been standing at the other side of the parking lot, I would not have been expected to sprint over to open the door. But at what distance am I required to move to the door to open it for someone if I am not already within arm’s length of it?

GENTLE READER: The maximum distance that requires intervention is measured not in feet, but in the less precise metrics of your attention and the other person’s need.

You cannot be expected to act on a situation of which you are unaware, and the presumption that this is the case grows with distance. An intervening driveway diminishes your responsibility. However, an elderly person who is struggling, and failing, to balance packages and a heavy door increases your responsibility to intervene.

Someone who has enough spare energy to be able to criticize the behavior of passersby -- a rude, not to mention energy-consuming, task -- rates somewhat lower. If you can plausibly appear not to have heard the woman’s remark, then Miss Manners agrees you can go about your business. If not, she can only thank you for performing an otherwise thankless task.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are getting married in a small backyard ceremony this fall. Friends of mine are getting married two weeks later, and have sent us a save-the-date announcement for their large wedding.

We had not planned on inviting them to our wedding, but are now feeling like we should reciprocate. What is the proper thing to do?

GENTLE READER: The rule of returning invitation for invitation does not apply to weddings absolutely, but Miss Manners recognizes your dilemma.

The solution will require a conversation that begins with the admission that you are also getting married, followed by the explanation that you are having a very small, informal family wedding.

Since telling people that they are not invited is ... not a compliment ... your explanation should be followed with an alternative invitation. If you are not planning a later party for friends, then perhaps you could suggest an evening out with the two newlywed couples. And if you have not already booked the honeymoon, you might wish to ensure that you are far from home on the second weekend after your own nuptials.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am invited to a 50th birthday luncheon for a girlfriend, and the invite says, “no gifts, please.” What can I do instead?

GENTLE READER: Bring your most winning smile.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)