DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 80-year-old husband (who is still practicing law in our community) and I attended a patriotic musical program in a local church. The emcee announced at the conclusion of the program that he supported service members, police officers, firefighters, doctors and all others who served society -- and then, out of the blue, he made some disparaging remarks about lawyers.

We were sitting on the front row and were deeply shocked. The audience did not laugh. In fact, I heard several gasps, as we are well-known in our community and I believe many people were embarrassed for us.

After the program, I told the gentleman as I was leaving that my husband was a lawyer who had practiced in his profession for 55 years helping literally thousands of people who needed legal help. I told him that our nation was founded on laws and both he and I were very proud of his profession and the work that he has done.

The man immediately apologized and said it was just a joke, entirely inappropriate, but that he had used the same joke at the last performance and everyone had laughed. I appreciated his apology, but went home thinking how cruel such tasteless jokes are.

My husband said it was not good manners for me to express my displeasure with his remark. I, however, have had enough of “lawyer jokes” and think those who hear them and are offended should speak up. In my opinion, no one should ever disparage another person’s profession.

GENTLE READER: Disparaging jokes about any profession -- and lawyers get the worst of it, but many others are targeted -- are risky as well as tasteless. More than likely, the gentleman figured this out from its tepid reception. Miss Manners guesses that this was probably a better lesson than any admonishment -- which likely only taught him the unfair and inaccurate lesson that lawyers’ spouses are even more humorless than lawyers themselves.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had the opportunity to travel with a chum to his parents’ house. Upon arrival, I saw a picture of one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. Just as my friend stated it was his mother, she came into the room. She was older and had put on a lot of weight. Is it ever polite to complement a woman on what she used to look like?

GENTLE READER: If you can do so without alluding to how awful she looks now.

“What a beautiful picture of you” is infinitely preferable, Miss Manners finds, to “That’s you?! What the heck happened?!”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is 6 p.m. considered the evening or the afternoon? My daughter-in-law put on an invitation “6:00 in the afternoon.” Just checking. I’m not sure.

GENTLE READER: It depends. Have the invitations already been sent? Evening is generally considered to start at 5:01 p.m. But if the error is in print, Miss Manners recommends that you stand by your daughter-in-law for the sake of family harmony, charmingly saying that you all hoped that if the evening never began, it could never end.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a problem with my best friend, and to a lesser extent, my husband. Whenever we have to make a choice of what restaurant to go to or what movie to see, they say, “You decide.”

Both are very vocal if they don’t like my choices, saying that was a horrible movie or a terrible restaurant -- nothing against me for choosing it, but it still makes me feel bad.

To me, their company is more important. So unless there is something really wrong with the meal, I am usually content.

I hate making decisions for them, and I try to get them to at least narrow down their choices, to no avail. Chicken or fish? “Black Panther” or “Mary Poppins”?

When I was with my friend at a high-end restaurant that served eight-course dinners for two, I saw one that didn’t appeal to me, but the rest were all fine, and I said so. My friend said, “You decide,” and refused to even help narrow it down. I tried to get him to eliminate at least one, but he wouldn’t. That led to an argument, which put a damper on the evening.

Both my friend and my husband say they don’t care, but can’t understand why I don’t necessarily care either. I am just out for the experience, and it is ruined when I spend the whole time worrying about their reaction and if I made the right choice.

Why don’t people realize it is just as selfish to say “you decide” as it would be to choose everything for me without any discussion? I want things to be a mutual decision. I will give my opinion, but I want them to give theirs, as well.

GENTLE READER: Next time you are asked to make the decision, say good-naturedly, “Oh no you don’t! I’m not falling for that one again. One of you must decide this time, and from now on we take turns. Or we decide together.”

Miss Manners then cautions you against showing your dissatisfaction, however tempting it might be, if you hate their decision.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Several people who I see regularly repeat the same questions and comments each time.

For example, another regular at the gym that I frequent asks me each morning why I do not wear a coat when walking to the gym, which is less than one block from my home. Further, my parents tell me the same stories about our ancestors over and over, and remind me each time we drive downtown that the parking garage where we park is free. At least my parents are well-intentioned, and hopefully not in the early stages of dementia.

As this repetition is tiresome and unnecessary, would you please suggest a polite and friendly response to people who repeat the same statements over and over?

GENTLE READER: “Oh yes, I remember you saying that. I have not forgotten!” Or “Thank you; you noticed that yesterday, too. My answer is still the same!”

Miss Manners stresses that tone here is critical. A balance of good humor in the case of your well-meaning parents, and firmness for those merely trying to pose as such, can be adjusted as necessary.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How would you suggest you handle it when people offer you the food they have not finished, left on their plate, other than a “No, thank you, I’m stuffed”?

My husband says I am too picky. I just was not brought up with communal eating habits and do not intend to change. Also, people serve cake and lick icing off their fingers, and continue as though all is fine. I could go on, but you get the idea.

GENTLE READER: Foods that are meant to be shared are placed on serving dishes -- from which individuals can then be served without having to forage among one another’s vegetables. Anything else is so informal that it escapes Miss Manners’ notice. The good news is that such offers can always be declined, preferably without discussion of the fullness of anyone’s stomach or the cleanliness of anyone’s hands.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a new temporary employee whom I manage. He is very friendly and likes to chat -- which is fine, as there can be a lot of downtime in our work, and I enjoy our conversations.

The problem is that he stands too close and it makes me and another employee uncomfortable. We are both females and he is a male. However, we both agree this is not a means of harassment, and he likely does it to male co-workers as well.

He is just one of those people who doesn’t have that sense of personal space that most people have of about 3 feet. His face is approximately 18-20 inches from ours when chatting. I have found that I am dodging him due to the discomfort I feel.

Is there any polite way to address this with him, or should I continue to dodge him?

I know I am not the first person to experience this; I think we all have at one point or another. I believe it has even been the focus of an episode of a sitcom at one time. Can I address this without causing him embarrassment?

GENTLE READER: Were you not his manager, Miss Manners would have more sympathy for your inclination to dodge the issue, both literally and figuratively.

But as you are -- and as you know his behavior is making others besides yourself uncomfortable -- it is your responsibility to act. The best way to do this is to have a frank, sympathetic conversation with him: frank, that is, except for including any mention of your own embarrassment. You should report that (unnamed) “others” have expressed to you their discomfort. You are looking out for his own best interests in telling him, so that he can correct his behavior before someone raises it in a way that becomes a real problem for him.

Before you protest at the dishonesty of putting the discomfort on unnamed others rather than yourself, ask if, in saying that your purpose is to save him embarrassment, you were neglecting to mention a similar savings for yourself.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)