DEAR MISS MANNERS: Who are windows for? I think they are to look out to the world from, let in light without wasting electricity, and to keep an eye on one's property.

Our neighbors have children who constantly look in to all our windows. If I am simply facing my window, even from another room, they stare and put their hands on their hips as if I have no right to look outside when they are there, which is very frequent.

I find this very uncomfortable, yet I feel I am entitled to have my shades up. I think it is rude to look in to others' windows. How can I solve this problem?

GENTLE READER: The window undeniably belongs to you. But the real question is who owns the view -- or views, as what you are seeing is different than what your neighbor's children are looking at.

You are seeing the outside world, which Miss Manners, without benefit of a law degree, declares is public property. Your neighbor's children have no reasonable expectation that no one will ever look at them from inside the house.

The children, however, are looking in to your home. This is a private space, sometimes intensely so. But before some wag appropriates this reasoning to make a public display of himself from the comfort of his living room, it is important to remember that the act of opening the shades is also a tacit, if only partial, waiver of privacy. You are always entitled to look out; the child can sometimes be excused for a passing glance, but steady watching habits need to be reported to their parents.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a high school teacher who has a ninth-grader in one of my classes who has never been taught social graces. One of the most egregious things she does is chew with her mouth open -- it's horrible. She also grabs food others are reaching for (she's not thin, so she's not starving), spreads her class material out so that it encroaches on other students' areas, etc.

Conversely, she is happy and eager to learn, and she has great, great potential. Her lack of social skills will ultimately hold her back.

I don't know what to do! I nag her constantly about her horrible diet (she lives on fast food, won't touch a vegetable), her erratic sleep schedule, and the fact that she's late daily for school. I'm afraid if I start on her social skills, it will just be too much. I've thought of sending her to a "finishing school," but I don't think they exist. Plus she doesn't need to be "finished" since she hasn't even started. I would be willing to pay for her to go to some kind of class -- I really believe in this student's future.

GENTLE READER: Although she must often remind people that it is rude to correct another person's manners, Miss Manners observes that the ban does not apply to parents and teachers. (At least not when acting in their official capacity: Being Olivia's mom does not give you jurisdiction over Zoe.)

As parents do less and less parenting, schools have been forced to take over. This is not ideal, but it may be necessary: Your school administration and fellow teachers may be willing, if not eager, to support or sponsor some mini-lessons on basic etiquette that you rightly link with the future success of your pupils.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have decided to apply for a master's degree, despite having an exorbitant amount of anxiety surrounding academia. It often feels like I require 13 tries before even understanding concepts that other students pick up immediately (even though I know every individual has their own personal struggles!).

I meet regularly with a therapist and stick to a regimented sleep, medication and exercise schedule to keep my anxiety under control. Despite this, I still occasionally find myself becoming extremely emotional around tutors, teachers and other mentors trying to help me reach my goal.

I do my best to excuse myself if I need to wipe away some tears, but there are many occasions where time simply does not allow for this. I'm very curious if there are any etiquette tips for situations when anxiety gets the better of me. How do I explain to others that my reaction is not their fault, and how do I deal with these exhausting emotions when they insist on coming out in public?

GENTLE READER: The situations you are speaking of are not public -- you will exchange tutors, teachers and fellow students periodically, but not daily or even weekly -- a point Miss Manners makes for a reason.

Most academic programs provide for individual contact with teachers, tutors and mentors, which is the proper place to mention your situation, preferably prior to a demonstration. Those professionals will then be aware what is happening and in a position to help, by, for example, calling on someone else or excusing you. This is not a step to be taken for every diagnosis or discomfort, but only for issues well outside the range of average behaviors. You do not, after all, wish to be the student whose dog is always eating his homework.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother passed away. She was aged, and it was not unexpected. At a family dinner, I mentioned that it was not a good year for me, as two acquaintances of mine had also passed away, both of them very suddenly.

My sister-in-law asked what caused their deaths. I replied I didn't know and didn't ask. She replied that she would want to know. I said that out of respect for the families in their time of grief, I could not do such a thing.

If a family member had told me the cause of death, and someone else asked me, then I would say, "I am not a detective. I am a mourner."

Sadly, the discussion went from talk to debate. I excused myself and went home. I later apologized, but am still taken aback by her lack of manners and courtesy. Is there a situation where one may ask the cause of death? Should I just remember the decedents and mourn? They were beautiful people whom I shall miss.

GENTLE READER: Your sister-in-law does appear to have missed the point of funerals, which is not to gossip about the deceased to whom you are paying respect, but to comfort the living. Discussions of even the most peaceful and expected deaths are likely to upset the other mourners. And not all deaths, Miss Manners reminds your sister-in-law, are peaceful or expected. You were right not to inquire.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I invited some friends and their significant others to celebrate my birthday, I asked people what date and time would be best, and reserved a nice restaurant based on their availability.

A week before the event, a friend who lives the farthest away called and suggested a different place. She said the original place was "pricey," and that it would be far for her to travel (over an hour). She encouraged me to pick somewhere 30 to 40 minutes from her.

In the end, I did cave and pick a different restaurant, because it was important to me that my lifelong friend be present to celebrate. However, I can't help but be annoyed with her. I have gladly traveled over an hour in the past to locales of her choosing, including to her birthday. If it's truly too expensive for her to have dinner with friends, she could order appetizers only, split the bill with her boyfriend or simply not come.

So what should have been done here? Was it wrong of her to wrangle the host into accommodating her personal concerns? Or was it wrong of me to choose somewhere out of a guest's price range?

GENTLE READER: They were not your guests. Were you the host of this party, as well as the guest of honor, Miss Manners would have supported your indignation that a guest tried to renegotiate the terms.

But you were only asking your friend to buy herself dinner while paying tribute to you. That she wanted to go someplace she could afford seems eminently reasonable. Of the three cost-saving suggestions you mention, Miss Manners would have chosen the third.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 73-year-old man. Looking at me, I am obviously somewhere in the 70s age range. I often encounter much younger people who address me as "young man."

I do not understand why they do it. We both know I am not young. Do they think I feel better to be so addressed?

For example, when I had hip replacement surgery recently, I was attended to very professionally afterward by a physical therapist, of apparent age mid-30s or so, who deserves great credit for everything she did in helping me to recover and return to what I consider to be a very vigorous 73-year-old lifestyle.

But she keeps calling me "young man." Maybe it shouldn't bother me, but it does. How should I handle this situation?

GENTLE READER: By asking the therapist politely to stop, because yes, she does think that this makes you feel better.

Our society has the appalling concept that it is embarrassing to age, and that we therefore have to keep up the elaborate pretense that everyone seems young. You are not the only adult who finds this disrespectful. If you explain this gently, you will be doing a favor not only for other clients, but also for her, as she ages.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)