DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am married and live in the same city as my parents. They are both retired and have eagerly embraced email -- sometimes too much. Since my parents claim that my wife and I “never answer the phone,” they send us emails, lots and lots of emails.

The issue is two-fold. First, they seem to send us emails as they think of ANYTHING. It’s almost like stream-of-consciousness. We get several from both Mom and Dad every day.

That is related to the second piece of the issue. Mom and Dad overlap emails on the same topic. They live in the same house, but it feels like they do not coordinate at all on their messages!

We include both of them when trying to coordinate any activities. My wife and I have told them more than once that our own daily activities prevent us from answering their emails right away. We are well aware that they have more free time than we do, but they don’t seem to get it. We love my parents, but answering this many emails is frustrating.

Help. Is there any way to ask them nicely to coordinate on their emails so we’re not spending time replying to so many?

GENTLE READER: Here is a phrase Miss Manners does not often say: Why don’t you suggest they start their own blog? Or at least you treat their emails as such.

The beauty about correspondence is that its frequency is up to both parties. You do not have to answer every email. If you slow down your responses, Miss Manners feels sure that even if your parents don’t slow down theirs to match the pace, they will at least afford you the opportunity to say, “Oh I didn’t think we needed to respond. Dad told us the same news yesterday, so I thought you were just posting.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in a business that serves walk-in clients. Unfortunately, the powers that be tend to cut staff when they think we may be less busy.

I’m for saving the company money; however, they often guess wrong because of a variety of reasons, including not asking the staff their thoughts. Wait times get long due to the lack of staff.

I’ve been told to apologize for people’s wait. I am sorry they have to wait for their needs to be met, but I don’t feel I should be expected to apologize. It’s not my fault we don’t have enough staff. I try to be as accommodating as possible. I’ll fetch some water and snacks for bored children. But I just can’t get the words “I’m sorry” out of my mouth when it isn’t my fault.

GENTLE READER: Patrons are far more likely to be more sympathetic -- and recognize that it is the company’s fault and not yours -- if you are cognizant of their annoyance and apologize on the company’s behalf. As a bonus, the company might be more apt to listen and change their policies with consumer support and sympathy behind you.

Miss Manners therefore suggests that you think of the apology as one for a company that won’t listen to you. But then you must also resist rolling your eyes or using air quotes when issuing it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At events I'm often coerced into having my picture taken with others. Inevitably those next to me reach out to hug me for the photo, I'm sure expecting me to hug them in return.

I don't want to hug or be hugged, but this has somehow become the norm for photos, as if we're all some bonded tribe that must show our brotherhood for the camera. And if I'm wearing a suit, the jacket is raised up and makes for a terrible shot.

My theory is that the practice is an outgrowth of the festive "party pics" of the '80s where the subject was keen to show how much fun she/he was having and how much love was shared. I know; I was once one of them.

Regardless, I would like to stand and have my picture taken if I must, without being hugged by the stranger next to me. May I say, "Thanks but no hugging, please?"

GENTLE READER: Or worse. Some public figures have gotten themselves in trouble by thinking that picture-taking is an excuse to get to know their subjects better.

Photographers should take the lead here and learn to distinguish between getting people closer for a better shot and forcing people to touch. If this is not established beforehand or the subjects do not pay attention, Miss Manners advocates for the well-timed yelp of surprise. This alerts everyone that there is a problem and allows for an opportunity to announce the aforementioned no hugging policy to all.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The other day, I apologized for being in someone's way at the grocery store. He smiled and said that he, himself, had been hung over before.

I think I smiled wanly and avoided eye contact when I had to navigate past him on the same shopping trip. It was an off-putting encounter -- should I have done anything else?

GENTLE READER: Responded to the accusation with, "Have you? What's it like?"

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I call my brother once or twice a month, he can never talk to me without interrupting to scold, correct or coach his child (age 10) -- not once, but multiple times in a 10-minute call.

When I ask for a better time to call, brother will offer no guidance. I think it is disrespectful to me as a caller and to his child as the supposed benefactor of his interventions.

My brother likes to say, "Welcome to my life," "I'm multitasking" or some other blow-off if I ask for a little concentration to our call at hand. The alternative seems to be not to call. He would probably not notice if I stopped calling him.

GENTLE READER: Next time you call, ask to speak to your nephew directly and see if the boy manages any better. You will likely get a more entertaining account of the family's goings-on and a less interrupted call.

If this backfires, however, and you find yourself at the end of an abandoned phone, Miss Manners recommends letter-writing. What it lacks in immediacy, it gains in maintaining train of thought.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am at the age that a great many people choose to retire. Due to a series of financial setbacks and, sadly, my own lack of fiscal responsibility, I am not in a position where I may retire now or in the near future. I blame no one but myself and am trying to right the ship, even at a late date.

This issue is understandably something I do not wish to share with people. How do I best respond when family and friends make inquiries and statements as to “Aren’t you thinking of retirement”? I think about it all the time; it is just not something that I am able to do now.

GENTLE READER: What you are seeking is a change of subject. How hard you will have to work to get one will depend on how intent your questioner is on getting an answer.

A casual remark can be answered with a breezy, “Sometimes I do.” A follow-up can be parried with, “Right now, I’m enjoying my life as it is.” (This should be accompanied by a frown that, while it may contradict your statement, should also discourage further probing.)

As a last resort, you will need to give a firm, “I’m not ready to yet.” The initial parries should be followed by changes of subject, but the last response will require a moment of silence to let your seriousness sink in. Miss Manners strongly urges you not to mount a full counterattack in the form of a challenging, “Why? Do I look old enough to retire?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For my brother’s or sister-in-law’s birthday, I’ve been sending a birthday card with a $50 bill -- my way of telling them, “Treat yourself to something that you like.”

They have reciprocated by giving me for my birthday something that cost them no more than $20. I am not looking for a tit-for-tat here. But lately, when they called me to thank me for the gift, I sensed that they seem to be bothered because I have burdened them with something that maybe they consider a nuisance. My suspicion was reinforced when they only sent me a birthday card and nothing else.

I am not sure about what to do. It seems awkward not sending them the usual $50 as I have been doing, but if that’s what they indeed want, because they don’t want to be bothered with having to reciprocate, I don’t want to put them in an embarrassing situation.

GENTLE READER: The cash is incidental to the problem, which is that your siblings do not wish to continue to give gifts into adulthood, while you might. It will certainly be easier if, as sounds likely, you do not care.

In that case, the solution is simple: a conversation, in which Miss Manners asks you to avoid criticism, either direct or implied. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I realize that now that we’re older, maybe we should call a halt to gifting among the adults. I love hearing from you on my birthday, and that’s gift enough. I suspect that’s what you were thinking anyway, but wanted to discuss it with you.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)