DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter expressed her desire to have as few children at her wedding as possible. She has a flower girl, so naturally this 4-year-old will be attending, and she also told the groom's out-of-town brothers that they may bring their young boys. A groomsman's wife just delivered, and she told them to please bring their infant child, understanding that leaving a 1-month-old with a sitter may not work out so well.

Now a member of the bridal party apparently needs to bring her 1-year-old child because she doesn't go anywhere without her, so my daughter figured if she said the groomsman could bring his newborn, then in all fairness, she needs to allow her bridesmaid to bring her toddler.

She has had a few negative responses from people who shared that they "can't afford a sitter" or "never leave their child with anyone other than family," and she smiles and says, "I hope it works out, as we want you to be able to share in this day with us."

Miss Manners, what are we to do if people show up with their children? It is clearly marked on the invite as to how many are invited from their household, but apparently no one reads this anymore or RSVPs. It is bad enough when they do not RSVP, and then when they bring additional people who aren't invited, it becomes a situation that is difficult to navigate.

GENTLE READER: Having given up on the hope that everyone will enjoy a wedding these days, Miss Manners finds herself setting a lesser goal of offending the smallest number of people possible. Even this will be a difficult standard to meet if parents struggle to find babysitters and then find themselves with a flower girl, two (or more?) nephews-in-law, a mother with infant and a 1-year-old. (Did we miss anyone?)

Your daughter may exclude all children from the event, but, for understandable reasons, she did not do so. It is time either to hire a babysitter and a quiet room somewhere away from the main ceremony, or to bribe one of the older (preferably trustworthy) children to mind the younger ones.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A young woman slammed a flight attendant for referring to her as "miss" when her card read "Dr." Some people praised her for standing up to the man; others said she was a crazy attention-seeker. What are Miss Manners' thoughts on this issue?

GENTLE READER: That even if the young woman was wearing a name tag that prominently displayed her title, it would be hard to read while serving drinks in the aisle of an airplane in flight. Inferring an insult without reason to think one has been intended is unmannerly. And -- Miss Manners reserves the most important point for last -- it is foolish to antagonize the person who will be feeding you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The traditional checkout process at stores and fast-food restaurants has always been a separate line for each cash register, and if you happened to end up in a slow line, that's just the way it was.

However, some places, like banks, have switched to a single "wait here for next available cashier" model. Studies have shown this is generally faster and more efficient, but when there is nothing to indicate one way or the other, what is the prevailing etiquette? Is it one line or multiple lines? Should people be allowed to straddle multiple lines?

I shop at a local pharmacy store that has two cash registers at the front, one across from the other, with a single aisle between them. Every time I have shopped here in the past, there have been two separate lines, with people standing on the left side of the aisle to wait in line for the left cashier, or the right side to wait for the cashier on the right. Today there was a college-aged man standing right in the middle of the aisle, so I politely asked him which line he was in. His reply was "The ONE line," with a tone that implied I was an idiot for asking.

There is no sign indicating "wait here for next available cashier," so is it wrong of me to assume that there were actually two separate lines, and he was wrong for trying to straddle both lines?

GENTLE READER: Designing checkout lines -- like manning cash registers and stocking shelves -- is a store responsibility. Smart managers are aware that fistfights among the clientele are likely to interfere with business, and therefore try to make such layouts unambiguous.

When ambiguity does exist, Miss Manners allows free rein to the (reasonable and well-intentioned) whims of the first person in line: Everyone behind will then have to conform, at least until a lull in business anoints a new trailblazer.

If the aisle between the two cash registers has a function -- the only way out of the store, for example -- then your college-aged man failed the tests of reasonableness and good intentions. But you would be prudent to wait until someone plows into him on the way out, and, while expressing concern over his misfortune, advance to the closer register.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two couples were dining at a fairly expensive restaurant. Just as the main course was being served, one of the men seemed to pass out in his chair, his head resting on his chest.

His wife couldn't rouse him, and she asked that someone call 911. EMTs came, revived him and said they would take him to the hospital.

The server asked if she could box up the uneaten entrees. The diners declined, saying that they were all going to the hospital. The server then asked what she should do with the dinner bill.

One of the diners paid it. My friend, who was at the next table, felt that the restaurant should have comped the meal. I disagreed.

GENTLE READER: Unfortunate though the circumstances were, the restaurant is under no obligation to refund the price of the meal. Assuming, Miss Manners hastens to add, that it had no hand in causing those circumstances.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In college, I lived in a townhouse with several housemates. One night, when a party we were hosting had gone on too long for my taste, I went down to the basement and turned off all the circuit breakers.

It had its intended effect; the house was cleared of guests within minutes. A few minutes after that, one of my housemates came down to the basement to see what happened. He was very amused when he shined his flashlight on my grinning face, standing next to the circuit breakers.

GENTLE READER: Please stop grinning. Yes, you got away with it. But Miss Manners begs you to stop thinking of this as cute before you turn off someone's life-saving medical device.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When salad is eaten after the main course, should the salad fork go outside or inside the table fork? I have often seen the salad served after a main course, before dessert, but I have never seen the fork moved. Assuming the salad is presented after the main (meat) course, what is the proper setting?

GENTLE READER: Maybe your hosts are just used to seeing tables set that way because restaurants can produce salad before the main course (to placate clients while their main courses are being cooked). The reverse sequence is proper for a private event, where dinner is already in the works.

But maybe your hosts are just trying to drive you crazy. People love to ridicule etiquette for the supposedly Heraclean problem of choosing which fork to use, when the answer couldn't be more simple: Start at the outside and work your way in. So the salad fork goes inside when it is to be used after the meat course.

Miss Manners cannot decide which would be more delicate -- to use the salad fork for the salad, despite its misplacement, or to use the dinner fork for salad and the salad fork for the main course to avoid pointing out that your host doesn't know how to set the table.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are in a quandary over how to make our wedding accessible to everyone, as my family lives in the southeast United States, and his family lives in southeast Australia. Health, finances and necessary travel documents make it nearly impossible for either family to make such a journey, even to what might be considered a halfway point.

We would hate to have to choose between my family or his. In this situation, is there a courteous way we could have two modest, dignified ceremonies within a few weeks of each other? Alternatively, is there some sort of "church blessing" or other ceremony we could have with the other half of our family followed by tea sandwiches, champagne and cake?

GENTLE READER: If you have two wedding ceremonies, you would still have to choose which family attended the original one, and which the rerun. The emotional impact of attending a wedding comes from witnessing people enter the state of matrimony, not from watching a married couple run through something they have done before.

If your church recognizes a religious service, in addition to a civil service, that would be a solution. Otherwise, Miss Manners recommends that the second event be a frank celebration instead of a mock wedding.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)