DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been invited to a family wedding with a plus-one. A few months before receiving the invitation, I ended my long-term relationship, but I was fairly private about it and did not make it widely known.

The family member who invited me had met my former partner, and I believe that she extended the plus-one expecting he would attend, not knowing I am no longer dating him. The invitation was addressed to myself “and Guest.” I worry it might be deceptive not to let my relative know about the breakup and offer her the chance to rescind the plus-one.

I would like to bring a date (and have one ready and eager to join me), but I wouldn’t want to do so if it’s a breach of etiquette. Should I inform her, or can I bring any date I like?

GENTLE READER: Harboring a strong dislike for the “plus one” invitation, Miss Manners is resisting the temptation to say that those who issue anonymous invitations have no one to blame but themselves when strangers appear on their doorstep. If the bride was hoping your former partner would attend, then she might have troubled to learn his name.

No matter. Your own dilemma can be resolved by telling the bride how much you are looking forward to the wedding, as is your new friend, whom you cannot wait for her to meet. This is meant to warn the bride of the change, not -- and this is important -- to give her the opportunity to commit the rudeness of rescinding an already-issued invitation. It is to forestall any such attempt that this enthusiasm is being conveyed.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received an email that was sent to a distribution list of everyone in my division of the large company where I work. It was from a co-worker that I have never met, telling us that his young son, who had been ill, passed away the night before.

I can’t imagine how difficult this is for my co-worker, and my heart goes out to him, but I don’t know whether or how to respond. Replying to the email to express condolences seems crass, especially since hundreds of other employees might do the same. The email includes no address information.

I suppose that I could Google around to see if I can find an address where I can send condolences, but that seems intrusive. Ignoring the email seems cold and insensitive. What is the polite way to handle this message?

GENTLE READER: What you have received is a death notice, albeit as an electronic communication from the principal mourner rather than a printed obituary in a newspaper. The etiquette is identical if you think of the company as the newspaper’s readership.

Etiquette does not require you to take any notice for someone you have never met, particularly in a large city (company). This does not mean that Miss Manners does not appreciate your feelings for your bereaved co-worker, nor does it bar you from sending a handwritten note (to an address your company can provide) that you are under no compulsion of etiquette to pen.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I admit it: I am not a user of social media. I care not at all if some self-absorbed celebrity is, or is not, breastfeeding. Nor do I believe one’s every thought needs to or should be broadcast to the masses in an early morning tweet. How does Miss Manners view social media and the apparent complete abandonment of civility?

GENTLE READER: Social media did not invent bragging or celebrity gossip; it is only a system for distributing them widely. (It did, however, commit the crime of inventing “Please admire my lunch!” photography.)

Still, Miss Manners notices that participation remains voluntary. You no more need to be on social media than to hang on the back fence listening to neighborhood gossip.

The reward is a lot of free time to do more interesting things, although admittedly some of it must be spent explaining to your real-life social circle that if they want to reach you for an announcement or an invitation, they must do it another way.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I got an email from a niece informing me that she was pregnant. She made an improvident marriage about six months ago to a man with limited education and no ambition. He has a criminal record, and two children.

Now he has insisted that the two children come and live with them, although his ex is too poor to pay child support. The couple lives in a small apartment, and they have no prospects of getting a home because he does not earn much. My niece just finished college, and I was hoping she’d get a good job so they could eventually buy a home.

I feel this decision to have a child dooms them to poverty, and that it was incredibly poor judgment on their part. I also believe it is wrong to bring children into the world if you cannot provide adequately for them. I have not answered the email because I honestly can’t think of anything positive to say without being two-faced. Any ideas of what I could say while being true to myself?

GENTLE READER: “I wish you all the best”? And when the baby arrives, it would be kind of you to offer to help.

Miss Manners realizes that you think that such a response would be an endorsement of an unfortunate, not to say reckless, situation. But your niece is not asking you whether she should have a baby, any more than she asked you if she should marry a criminal.

This child, who will be your relative, is on the way, regardless of your opinion. Your disapproval will not change that, or serve any purpose other than adding to the burdens your niece seems already to be carrying. Surely your hope should be to subtract from them, if that is possible.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What type of gloves should be worn at a tea? Long or short?

GENTLE READER: Short, as teas are held during the afternoon. But Miss Manners whispers that you can get away without any, as gloves must be removed before you partake of tea.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my husband and I are at work and our teen daughter is in school, we communicate with her via text message.

I have told my teen that she is at the top of my totem pole, and I respond promptly to her messages (like “Mom, what medicine can I take for my hives?” or “Mom, what time are you coming home?”) -- but that I feel like I am at the bottom of hers. She is more anxious about replying immediately to her peers than to her dad and me.

It is not uncommon for her to respond only in the evening to a text or question I asked in the morning. She has said she will be better, but things have not changed. Is the right way to teach her to do the same to her? That is, ignore her messages for hours?

GENTLE READER: What are you and your husband texting your daughter all day? “The house is on fire”? “You left your term paper on the kitchen table”? “We’re off to Las Vegas until Sunday -- key is under the lilac bush”?

Her own messages that you cite do require answers, and it would be spiteful to ignore them. But if yours are less immediate, Miss Manners is not surprised that your daughter does not treat them as urgent. The unfortunate result may be that when one actually is an emergency, she may ignore it as just part of the day’s bombardment of texts.

It is not disrespectful to you that your daughter’s attention is on her friends during her free time at school. Even the most dutiful and devoted children do not worry about and focus on their healthy parents as intently as parents may do in regard to their children.

Never mind the totem poles. What you should tell your daughter is that from now on, you and her father will not text her at school unless it is something that needs an immediate response, which you will require her to provide.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a single, childless senior, because that’s the way my life turned out. Many of my longtime friends have children or grandchildren, most of whom I have never met.

Can you tell me how to change the subject when they talk of nothing else? Most recently, I talked to a childhood friend for the first time in months. After asking about my health, she then talked for an hour about her son’s second wedding, a destination extravaganza. I won’t be invited, and I have not seen her son since he was a toddler.

These discussions might be more welcome if you actually knew the people involved, don’t you think?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but they don’t. And they would be glad to make you acquainted through a few hundred pictures they happen to have on their telephones. Miss Manners recommends a strongly voiced, “What else is going on in your life?” With any luck, they will tell you about their health problems.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)