DEAR MISS MANNERS: For two years, I have been getting a manicure at a nail salon every other week, with the same technician every time. We are cordial and friendly. The conversation is polite, but not extensive, as her English is limited and I don’t speak her language.

She is always professional, and I am happy with her service. For the past few months, we’ve had a brief hug goodbye, initiated by her, and I feel comfortable with that.

However, she has begun to say “love you,” which leaves me uncomfortable as to how to respond. I do not wish to be rude, but nor do I wish to reciprocate the sentiment. I am not obligated to say anything, but it feels like she’s waiting for me to reply.

GENTLE READER: How could one blame an immigrant for being confused about the meaning of this sort of effusion when the natives have never sorted it out?

To some of us, a hug is an expression of personal affection for the hug-ee. To many others, it is the modern equivalent of a handshake.

Language has similarly progressed. “Amazing” and “incredible” mean that something is OK, maybe good, but not startling or unbelievable. Your manicurist doubtless meant to express her appreciation of you, not her passion.

Without embarrassing her, you could model a more restrained warmth. Take the initiative by offering her a handshake (presuming that your nails are dry) and by saying something merely pleasant, such as, “I am always very happy to see you.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When a relative died after a lifetime of health issues, my siblings and I attended the visitation -- where we spoke to and offered condolences to all of her immediate family members -- as well as the funeral and burial. We also donated generously to her suggested charity in lieu of flowers. Are sympathy cards also required?

GENTLE READER: If by a sympathy card you mean a store-bought card with preprinted sentiments, that is the minimal way of expressing condolences. Or at least it was, until people started texting instead. There would be no reason for doing either, as you have done the proper thing in person.

However, Miss Manners notices that sometimes what is really meant is a letter of condolence, actually composed by the sender. Those, particularly if they contain fond reminiscences of the deceased, are much valued.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a college student whose high school teachers and parents have always drilled into me the importance of a formal email. When I write to my professors or job interviewers, I always address them as “Dear Mr./Ms./Professor/Dr. Last Name” and use an appropriate closing.

However, they often reply with simply “Hi” or no greeting at all. One interviewer replied to an email in poorly capitalized, fragmented phrases and no closing.

If I need to reply to someone’s response to me, should I continue my level of formality, or imitate theirs? Or is there an in-between?

GENTLE READER: How much tuition are you paying to learn from people who know less than you about how to write?

Miss Manners urges you to continue to write respectfully and correctly. Perhaps your professors will learn from you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a single mother and am experienced in different types of home repair. Yet at large family gatherings, at least one male relative always boldly announces to the gathering that he is going to help me in some way.

They don’t tell me this privately; this is a sweeping declaration. The gathering then comments on their kindness and what good people they are. I have never asked, or even hinted, that I would like this help.

Miss Manners, these declarations are annoying for two reasons. First, they are rarely acted upon. Even a gentle follow-up asking when I could take them up on the offer is put off to “sometime.” The second is that the few times they do come out, it ends up being a disaster for me. Each time, they have left the situation worse.

The understanding is that I will pay for any parts needed. That is reasonable, except that they buy incorrect or unnecessary parts. They eat all my food, ask for constant affirmation, and leave a huge mess.

Each time, I have had to hire someone else to redo their work. In most of these situations, I could have fixed the problem myself quicker, cheaper and better.

These grand statements are made for their own gratification. How do I respond without coming across as an ungrateful bore? I do not like to call people out in front of others. In past years, I have just swallowed my words and sat silently. I have simply absorbed the expense in the name of family peace, or rested in knowing they would never come. Is there a gracious response I can employ?

GENTLE READER: ”Thank you, but actually, I’m pretty good at most household repairs. I’ll call you if I need help, but in the meantime, please call me if YOU do.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When congratulating someone for winning an award or getting a position, what is the time frame for doing so without it being an afterthought? When has too much time passed?

GENTLE READER: Nowadays, when awards are being revoked for bad behavior, Miss Manners considers it wise to act quickly.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I recently dined at our favorite restaurant, which has undergone an update of the decor, including new plates that are slightly scooped. Said plates are lovely and add a modern flair.

However, if one needs to rest a knife or fork on the edge of the plate, it is impossible. The utensil either slides onto the table or into the food.

What does one do when you must put down a utensil or two to pass the rolls?

GENTLE READER: Get the tablecloth dirty.

Miss Manners is not saying this is your best practice, but she also does not see another option. When the server comes around to collect your plate, you may say, “I am so sorry for the stains, but our plates, while beautiful, seem to have trouble holding our utensils.” With copious amounts of dirty laundry, the restaurant may find that they are due for yet another update in decor.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I, a straight, single female, was invited to a gay female couple’s house for dinner. When I arrived, they asked me if I was ready to eat, and said we would be going through the garage.

I was perplexed, but it was a pleasant evening, and I thought we might be taking a detour to the backyard to dine al fresco. Then they got in their car, saying we were going out to eat.

At their favorite Italian restaurant, they requested a separate check. I’m on a tight budget, and everything on the menu was $15 and up. Fortunately I happened to have the money to cover my meal. If not, I would have been left in the embarrassing position of either not eating or having to beg their charity to cover my check.

I was not aware I needed to come financially prepared when they invited me in the first place. I am left wondering if I should have assumed they would pay for my meal and if I should have said something, or just be glad it happened to work out.

GENTLE READER: Allow Miss Manners to clarify some terminology that seems to be confusing the hosting world at large:

When one is invited to someone’s house for dinner, it means that guests will be provided food procured by the hosts -- unless otherwise specified and agreed upon in advance. Potluck is an example of the latter; an itemized grocery bill is not.

“I would like to take you to dinner” or “my treat” means the invitation-issuer is offering to pay. “Let’s meet at a restaurant” means that the bill will be shared. Rarely, Miss Manners feels compelled to point out, and certainly not in this instance, does the host’s sexuality or relationship status have anything to do with anything. At least in terms of who is paying.

Your would-be hosts were confusing at best. If you otherwise enjoyed their company, however, you might clarify the next time: “Will we be going out or should I plan to have the pleasure of dining at your house?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was diagnosed with breast cancer four years ago. Fortunately, it was caught early, and although I had to go through “the works,” my treatments were successful, my health is now fine and my long-term prognosis is excellent.

How do I respond to a couple of people whom I see periodically -- every few months or so, at business or volunteer gatherings -- who routinely greet me by saying, with apparently deep concern, “And how is your health? Are you doing OK?”

I know they mean well, but I am getting annoyed at being continually identified as “the person who had breast cancer.”

Of course I don’t want to be rude, but these constant reminders are getting tiresome. I have moved on with my life, so why can’t they?

GENTLE READER: “I am relieved to say that I am in complete remission and now have other things to talk about besides my health. How is yours?”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)