DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a healthy, strong, 62-year-old woman. I fly frequently on business. Because of the frequency, I get upgraded to first class about half the time. Most other people in first class are men; it’s usually upwards of 80 percent.

There is an expectation when deplaning that people exit by row. This nearly always happens gracefully and amicably when I’m in coach. But in first class, when it is time to exit, I have experienced over and over again that I have to be somewhat pushy to enter the aisle when it’s my turn, as it were. If I’m not very quick and pushy, I get pushed past by men in rows behind me. Frequently! If I’m on the aisle, I engage in the apparently expected pushiness so that I don’t hold back the person next to me in the window seat.

Is there a way to handle this, other than just quietly enduring it? I admit that I wonder if I’m the one being rude, by perhaps being too meek.

GENTLE READER: Really? First-class men are pushier than economic ones? Is that how they got to where they can afford ridiculous airfares?

Rather than offering a sociological report, Miss Manners suggests that you learn to say “excuse me” in the polite but commanding way of a strong, healthy (or any other) passenger.

You could also plop your carry-on bag in the aisle the second you hear that ping of permission.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you deal with people who come up and start gushing away, while you are standing there thinking, “Who in the world are you?”

I am a veteran teacher, and most of the time, it is a student or maybe a parent from 20 or 30 years ago. Sorry, but I don’t remember them all, and even if I do remember the kid, the overweight adult who is talking bears little resemblance.

GENTLE READER: But you loom large in their eyes, and it would be sad to disillusion them.

Miss Manners’ own dear mother was a teacher who addressed this problem in a bizarre way. Observing, over decades of teaching, that given names run in fashions, she would assess the age of the former student and apply that era’s most common name.

Thus, once faced with the parent of a student from what she remembered as the “Stephen and Michael” period, she asked charmingly (she thought), “And how is Stephen now?”

“You mean Michael,” the parent replied coldly.

Miss Manners does not therefore recommend this approach. Another of her mother’s attempts would be to say, “Didn’t you go by a nickname?” in the hope of receiving a reply such as, “No, I’ve always been Zachery. Not many people called me Zach.”

Of course, they could say, “Well, as you see, no one can call me Fatty any longer.” To which you would reply, “Do people address you formally now?” getting a response of, “No, they just call me Kevin.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work at a small company. Ten folks in my office: seven males and three females. Daily, when lunchtime approaches, the males (including our boss) pop into various offices saying, “Who wants to go to lunch today?” -- ALWAYS excluding the female co-workers.

I find this practice extremely sexist and want to scream from the treetops! Their ages are between 28 and 43, not that it should make a difference. Am I being too emotional in being so offended by this practice, or should I speak up?

GENTLE READER: Are you seriously telling Miss Manners that the females are sitting around waiting for the males to invite them out?

Of course you should speak up. Not to berate your colleagues, but to ask them who wants to go to lunch.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Invitations to my grandson’s wedding were sent out a few weeks ago. The envelope contained two invites and an RSVP card. One invite requested our presence at the wedding reception at 6:30 p.m. The other, in a small, open envelope, said “CEREMONY: please join us at 5 p.m.” Same place, same day. The RSVP card, which I already handed to the bride-to-be last week, asked if we were attending, and how many.

I had assumed that all who received invitations, received “all” the invitations. I just found out the other day that many did not receive the one to the ceremony.

Is this something new? Some guests are invited to the ceremony -- same day, same place -- and some have to wait around and just attend the reception? When I discovered this just the other day, I learned that my other son was not invited to the ceremony, even though he and my daughter-in-law are paying to fly in to attend the wedding.

GENTLE READER: You are a young grandmother, Miss Manners gathers. And thus you do not remember that, far from being a new custom, this is an old one that has been abandoned for sensible reasons.

Before most weddings were the huge pageants they are today, held in exotic and usually expensive places, it was not considered offensive to hold a small wedding ceremony and invite guests only to the reception. Or even to invite people to the ceremony, but not the reception. The guests lived in town, and were not devoting their entire day, much less vacation time, to the event.

But now so much more is expected of wedding guests in the way of time, money and travel that excluding them from the ceremony, which could involve stranding them in a strange town, seems insulting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please help resolve the following. In an effort to be a “true gentleman,” shouldn’t a man open the door for all ladies in his presence, be it the car door or any other door?

GENTLE READER: Yes, but good luck getting to the car door before the lady hops out. Miss Manners guesses that a scarcity of gentlemen has taught ladies to fend for themselves -- or spend the evening in the parking lot.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 31-year-old man who works in a midsized office comprised mostly of women. I am the only unmarried and childless man in the office. I am also gay, but not obviously so, and I am generally not lumped in as “one of the girls.”

These are facts that I have used so far in my career to avoid many of the aspects of office culture that do not interest me. However, some obligations are harder to avoid than others.

There will be a baby shower for a co-worker who is a member of my team. Although our team is small, the entire office will be participating in the shower, which will be held in the office during the lunch hour.

Under most circumstances, I would quietly have some food and try to enjoy myself. But unfortunately, the catering will be Thai, and I am severely allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, cilantro and seafood.

I like my co-worker, but I am not a fan of showers of any type, and Thai food is an absolute no for me. I refuse to be the person who demands that others change pre-existing meal plans to accommodate my life-threatening allergies, and I am especially not inclined to do so in this case.

Should I bring my own food to the shower? Or might I feign male ignorance, contribute to the office gift and eat out alone, as per usual?

GENTLE READER: “Forced socialization” at the office is always a bad idea.

However, rather than blame your entire gender, why not feign work obligations instead? If said graciously (“I wish I could attend, but I am afraid that I have gotten behind on the Gramberry account”), it makes a much more valid point about not spending office time engaged in seemingly mandatory social activity. Just make sure that the mother-to-be is not also working on the Gramberry account.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am hosting an informal cocktails and hors d’oeuvres affair for 25 people. I have sufficient glassware for cocktails; however, even if I mixed all of my small plates together, there would not be enough to go around, and the same applies to flatware.

I had thought to use high-quality plastic plates (the ones that look like cut glass) and matching flatware. This would enable my guests to enjoy their food with fresh plates as needed.

However, one person in this group has, in the past, has been critical of a previous hostess for doing the same, saying that using plastic serving ware is tacky. So, should I buy more dishes, pare down my guest list, or stick to my original plan?

GENTLE READER: Mismatched serving ware is perfectly acceptable, and can even be charming. Disinviting guests is not. (Nor, for that matter, is criticizing hosts.)

If you are unable to procure additional plates, then rent some -- or ask close, invited friends if they would not mind lending theirs. Miss Manners assures you that guests will be much more forgiving of contrasting plates than of ones that fall apart in their hands.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)