DEAR MISS MANNERS: Could you let ladies know how to sit? Especially those on TV who show their legs, some up to their panties, because they cross their legs?

At my school, in England, all the girls were taught to put our knees together. That way, you can sit without showing your panties but still look nice.

GENTLE READER: As prominent ladies are more and more often wearing trousers, this should get to be less of a problem. And the fashion industry keeps announcing that it is bringing back longer skirts -- where else does it have to go? -- but Miss Manners notices that this never seems to happen.

So it might be a good idea to bring back correct posture. It’s not just the peekaboo effect, but the fact that the loosely swinging bare leg is clumsy and distracting. Skirted ladies may properly cross their ankles instead.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have gotten involved with a wonderful nonprofit organization as a volunteer. Some elements of this organization would benefit from some extra cash so they could better serve their clients.

Is there an appropriate way to ask friends/family to donate to this cause rather than buy me gifts? It seems presumptive to assume that Auntie Sue is going to buy me something, and I don’t want to put people in an awkward situation.

GENTLE READER: It is presumptive, and not a little annoying. Auntie Sue may also not agree that your organization’s mission is so wonderful.

Therefore, what you can do is to tell her about it. It astonishes Miss Manners that the standard idea of fundraising is to exert social pressure, rather than to engender enthusiasm about what the organization does. If you take the trouble to explain to Auntie Sue why you are involved in it, she may well want to open her purse, and still want to give you presents.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A while back, my husband and I met, through mutual friends, a very nice couple with whom we immediately bonded. The six of us are newly retired and often do things together, including meals.

Almost immediately, an abhorrence surfaced during dining. Our newfound friend’s wife, upon sticking a forkful of food into her mouth, will moan with eyes closed, as if she has not eaten in days. This occurs for the first few bites, and then tapers to occasionally. Seemingly “hubby” has learned to tune out “wifey’s” ritual, as he ignores it.

We have noticed other patrons looking over, laughing quietly, whispering, or most often shooting stares of annoyance. “Wife’s” behavior embarrasses us, and we are at an absolute loss as how to handle it. Can you help?

GENTLE READER: Neither you nor Miss Manners can properly say, “Please cut that out; it’s disgusting. We know you like the food. So calm down.”

But what you can say, in an alarmed tone, while grabbing her arm, is “Are you all right?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is recently engaged, and I’d like to throw him and his bride-to-be an engagement party. Do I need to coordinate with my soon-to-be daughter-in-law’s mother?

GENTLE READER: Or do you want to serve notice that you will be running this show, and she should just fall in line behind you?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is well-known in our community. His job and his volunteer work with nonprofit groups require that we attend quite a few social functions. He has a great sense of humor, and everyone loves him.

We often go to events where I don’t know anyone. Should he stay by my side at these events, with us navigating the room together, or is it acceptable for him to leave me alone?

It’s difficult for me to strike up a conversation with complete strangers. I wander about, looking for someone to talk to, and it’s awkward. I’m friendly and outgoing with people that I know, but I find that I’m nervous and quiet in a room full of strangers.

This is causing a problem in our marriage. What is the correct social etiquette in this scenario?

GENTLE READER: Must you attend? As you are not adept at doubling your husband’s representation at these events -- known as “working the room,” a common practice for political spouses -- the simplest solution would be for him to offer your apologies and explain that you are otherwise occupied.

The only excuse for couples’ sticking together at social events is that one needs the support of the other, which generally means physical support. That your husband should compensate for your shyness stretches the point and puts an extra burden on him.

Also, it is insulting to the other guests. A couple who cannot bear to be apart long enough to enjoy the company of others should stay home.

But a happier solution for you would be to learn to draw out strangers. If the guests work for one of those groups, you need only ask them what they do and why they got involved, and then express appreciation. To others, you can express your admiration for the work being done. Miss Manners is guessing that your husband is good at that, and can teach you something to recite before you become relaxed enough to chatter on your own.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate to respond to “thank you” with “thank YOU”? After a TV interview, the interviewer will thank the guest, and the guest most often replies “thank you.” Would not the correct response be “It was my pleasure,” or some other response?

I always thought that you don’t send a thank-you card in response to a thank-you card, and that a thank-you for an interview should not be followed with another thank-you.

GENTLE READER: These are two different thank-yous. Did you never have a social host thank you for attending, and respond, “Thank you for inviting me”?

But Miss Manners takes the opportunity to note that while you are right that a card of thanks does not require a response in kind, presents sent in thanks most certainly do. People often claim that this will create an endless chain, but that would only be the case if yet another present were involved.

Not that television interviewers should offer such rewards. But neither do their subjects want to say, “You’re welcome,” as if their very presence was a present. Or “It was a pleasure” if some serious issue was discussed.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been working for a very small family company as a receptionist for nine years now. Their daughter, whom I saw grow up, just got married. However, I am still irking over what they did to me.

I was invited to the bachelorette party, where I brought a gift, of course. I was invited to the wedding and to the general cake reception. I was told that the full reception, to be held later that night, was for close friends and family only, so I was not invited to that.

I was asked to pick up, set up and serve cake for the general cake reception, which I did, and once I cleaned up everything, I went my jolly way home.

Later that night, I see the videos posted on social media by everyone from the full reception, and it was huge! Everyone was there. All the employees of the company, and even one that only started working there three months ago!

I am still irking about that and I am considering quitting because I feel like a complete, unappreciated fool. Or should I let this go? Am I being envious and too petty because I did not get invited to the full reception?

GENTLE READER: “I enjoyed your daughter’s wedding so much that I am happy to waive any overtime I accrued for working at it. I hope that she will also enjoy the silver vase I sent.”

If the family does not have the good grace to be embarrassed by this, Miss Manners hopes that they will at least hesitate before posting their next party on social media.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable polite behavior to ball up a paper napkin and put it in your dirty plate when you’re done eating?

GENTLE READER: As opposed to pocketing it for later? While cloth napkins should be placed to the side of one’s plate once used, paper ones are meant to be disposed of. And Miss Manners finds a dirty plate more acceptable for that than a clean hand.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a co-worker with whom I worked closely in the past, but we are currently in different areas of the same school building. When I worked with her, she was experiencing infertility issues; however, she recently announced she is expecting a baby girl.

I am thrilled for her and proceeded to hand-make a few special items. I try to make something for each mother/ child that I work with. In a recent conversation, she expressed her plan to have a baby shower in the near future. I would like to be included in the invitation list, simply because I would like to celebrate this happy occasion with her. How do I mention the subject of an invitation without overtly inviting myself, or putting her in a position to feel obligated to invite me if her plans did not include former co-workers?

GENTLE READER: “I have a small present for the baby. Please let me know when a good time to give it to you would be.” This prompts the expectant mother to realize that inviting you might be worth her while if she was not already planning it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)