DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was out with a lady friend of mine when my nose started to run. I pulled out my handkerchief and blew my nose. She then told me that it is rude to do so at the table.

This is the first time in my 59 years of living that I ever heard such a thing. Is she right? I would not ever mean to be rude.

GENTLE READER: And you have doubts about how polite it would be to sit there letting your nose drip?

Miss Manners receives lots of complaints about nose-blowing, but such denunciations are never accompanied by alternative suggestions.

It is true that if there is a serious nasal problem, the offender might be better off home in bed. But for lesser problems, even if they are chronic, it is not so easy to keep leaving the table.

She presumes that it is when the blowing is accompanied by unattractive honking that it offends. Perhaps you can learn to blow discreetly and quietly, unless the situation is indeed serious enough to make you leave the table.

But unpleasant noises that have no place at the table include accusations of rudeness lobbed at one’s fellow diners.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a physician, I recommend strongly against allowing others to try on one’s rings.

One evening, two distraught young women came into the emergency room where I was working. One, newly engaged, had allowed the other to try on her ring. The ring became stuck and could not be removed. The finger was beginning to swell.

Fortunately, using a stout thread and a great quantity of soap, I was able to remove the ring without cutting off either the ring or the finger. An event such as this would cast quite a pall over an engagement party.

GENTLE READER: Yes, indeed. Even without the appalling threat of losing a finger or smashing a ring, Miss Manners considers this a bad idea.

She presumes that the newly engaged lady was not offering to toss her ring around, although you never know. It is more plausible, although still rude, that a guest had asked to try it on. The response, then, should be, “Oh, I don’t like to take it off,” with a blushing smile.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m seeing restaurants place napkins to the right side of where a plate will go, instead of to the left. Sometimes all the silverware, including the fork, will be on the napkin to the right side. In a major home design magazine, the photo stylist placed napkins under the knife on the right side.

Have I missed something? I thought napkins were placed on the left side of the plate. You will see tables set with napkins laid vertically on the plate also, which I assume is correct and something fancy to do on occasion.

What’s going on? What should I do at home, when placing the napkin?

GENTLE READER: Napkins do belong to the left of the forks or centered on the service plate. Restaurants and stylists may have nothing better to do than to mess around with the correct placement, but Miss Manners does, so there has been no change since you learned to set the table correctly.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a family quandary as to how to best address a situation with our nephew, Chet. Chet was always a very loud boy with some lack of social graces. We always thought he would grow out of it and grow up, like the rest of his cousins.

Unfortunately, at age 17, Chet still continues to dominate every family gathering. He constantly talks over and interrupts everyone. His father (my brother, divorced and now remarried) says nothing about it. It has always been this way; even when his parents were together, there was no telling this boy to let others speak.

In addition, Chet has become more annoying due to his constant need to talk about how expensive his shoes, computer, TV, etc. are, and how much better they are than what someone else may have. It’s not just my husband and me who are bothered by this. Our parents (Chet’s grandparents) can’t stand it, either.

I have made an occasional comment about his remarks about how much everything costs -- or the occasional “I am speaking, can I finish, please?” -- but it seems to only help for about three minutes.

Now that Chet is approaching adulthood, I would love his father to sit down with him and have a discussion about this, but it’s not likely to happen. What is the best way for the family to deal with it next time we are together? Chet tends to make us all dread the next family celebration or holiday.

GENTLE READER: If only the problem of constant interruption and material obsessions were unique to 17-year-old boys.

With your help, at least your nephew may still have a chance of becoming a considerate conversationalist -- a skill he will need to cultivate if he hopes to keep himself surrounded by expensive things.

At 17, he is presumably on the verge of attending college or joining the workforce. Miss Manners recommends you point this out and offer to practice his interview skills with him, giving him constructive feedback as you go. If you pose it like a funny role-playing exercise, he may never catch on that he is learning a lesson -- while he tries out his newfound skills on his family.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My partner and I are animal lovers, and have a pet lizard and ferret in addition to our dog. Often in social situations, when we tell people about our ferret, they say, “Oh, I don’t like ferrets.”

I find this to be very rude and hurtful. What do I say to those people?

I usually just say, “Well, we really love ferrets, and ours is the center of our world” or something equally gushy, because my partner and I really are enamored of her. I just don’t understand why someone would feel it’s appropriate to express disgust over a member of our family.

GENTLE READER: As with wayward family members, your ferret is likely only known by reputation. You might respond, “Scarlet is a sweetheart, but if she makes you uncomfortable, we can keep you two apart. We do not wish to hurt her feelings.” Miss Manners then dearly hopes that Scarlet does not go on to betray your high esteem.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work with someone overseas whose name, properly pronounced in his language, sounds like a word that causes blushing among English speakers. Is it acceptable to mispronounce his name to avoid causing offense?

GENTLE READER: Surely, if this gentleman does business in the States -- or has ever watched any American cable television -- he is familiar with the problem.

You pointing it out or purposely mispronouncing his name is not likely to improve relations. Miss Manners suggests that you continue to pronounce his name correctly -- and take his calls behind closed doors so as not to invoke immature titters amongst your colleagues.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in the health care field, which requires me to wear scrubs every day. I have a co-worker, Tracy, who looks very similar to me, and is part of many groups and hosts many activities. On multiple occasions, other people have confused me for her.

Normally, what I do when this happens is to say, very kindly and gently, “I’m sorry. I’m afraid you have me mistaken for Tracy, as I am not part of the (whatever activity/group). My name is Sherry. It’s very nice to meet you.”

However, another co-worker told me that it’s more polite to pretend that you know the person speaking, and continue the conversation in order to spare the other person’s embarrassment.

I personally don’t feel that it’s right to pretend to know someone that I do not, but I don’t want the other person to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when they make this mistake. What does Miss Manners think?

GENTLE READER: That participating in a fraudulent conversation will prove to be far more embarrassing, once it is revealed, than politely correcting a simple mistake up-front. Miss Manners heartily recommends that you ignore your co-worker’s poor advice. And double-check his or her signatures on any important documents.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you weigh in on the trend of asking (or even just assuming) that the sibling of an invited child also attend a party?

Some party plans can easily absorb an extra guest into the activities and food, making it easy to be gracious; however, some party plans are more specific. For example, we recently hosted a party with very few guests because the planned activities required a lot of personalized preparation, such as making things for each child. The casual “Can so-and-so come as well?” made complying with the request not-so-casual for me! Even worse, it was well after the RSVP date, and the sibling and my child barely know one another.

I knew I would feel bad or irritated whatever my answer. I chose to act nice, yet seethe in private. What is the best way to handle these requests?

GENTLE READER: “I am so sorry, but I am afraid that we only have room for the children we invited. But we would love to get together with little Gigi on another day. Do the children know each other well?”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)