DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a family quandary as to how to best address a situation with our nephew, Chet. Chet was always a very loud boy with some lack of social graces. We always thought he would grow out of it and grow up, like the rest of his cousins.

Unfortunately, at age 17, Chet still continues to dominate every family gathering. He constantly talks over and interrupts everyone. His father (my brother, divorced and now remarried) says nothing about it. It has always been this way; even when his parents were together, there was no telling this boy to let others speak.

In addition, Chet has become more annoying due to his constant need to talk about how expensive his shoes, computer, TV, etc. are, and how much better they are than what someone else may have. It’s not just my husband and me who are bothered by this. Our parents (Chet’s grandparents) can’t stand it, either.

I have made an occasional comment about his remarks about how much everything costs -- or the occasional “I am speaking, can I finish, please?” -- but it seems to only help for about three minutes.

Now that Chet is approaching adulthood, I would love his father to sit down with him and have a discussion about this, but it’s not likely to happen. What is the best way for the family to deal with it next time we are together? Chet tends to make us all dread the next family celebration or holiday.

GENTLE READER: If only the problem of constant interruption and material obsessions were unique to 17-year-old boys.

With your help, at least your nephew may still have a chance of becoming a considerate conversationalist -- a skill he will need to cultivate if he hopes to keep himself surrounded by expensive things.

At 17, he is presumably on the verge of attending college or joining the workforce. Miss Manners recommends you point this out and offer to practice his interview skills with him, giving him constructive feedback as you go. If you pose it like a funny role-playing exercise, he may never catch on that he is learning a lesson -- while he tries out his newfound skills on his family.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My partner and I are animal lovers, and have a pet lizard and ferret in addition to our dog. Often in social situations, when we tell people about our ferret, they say, “Oh, I don’t like ferrets.”

I find this to be very rude and hurtful. What do I say to those people?

I usually just say, “Well, we really love ferrets, and ours is the center of our world” or something equally gushy, because my partner and I really are enamored of her. I just don’t understand why someone would feel it’s appropriate to express disgust over a member of our family.

GENTLE READER: As with wayward family members, your ferret is likely only known by reputation. You might respond, “Scarlet is a sweetheart, but if she makes you uncomfortable, we can keep you two apart. We do not wish to hurt her feelings.” Miss Manners then dearly hopes that Scarlet does not go on to betray your high esteem.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work with someone overseas whose name, properly pronounced in his language, sounds like a word that causes blushing among English speakers. Is it acceptable to mispronounce his name to avoid causing offense?

GENTLE READER: Surely, if this gentleman does business in the States -- or has ever watched any American cable television -- he is familiar with the problem.

You pointing it out or purposely mispronouncing his name is not likely to improve relations. Miss Manners suggests that you continue to pronounce his name correctly -- and take his calls behind closed doors so as not to invoke immature titters amongst your colleagues.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in the health care field, which requires me to wear scrubs every day. I have a co-worker, Tracy, who looks very similar to me, and is part of many groups and hosts many activities. On multiple occasions, other people have confused me for her.

Normally, what I do when this happens is to say, very kindly and gently, “I’m sorry. I’m afraid you have me mistaken for Tracy, as I am not part of the (whatever activity/group). My name is Sherry. It’s very nice to meet you.”

However, another co-worker told me that it’s more polite to pretend that you know the person speaking, and continue the conversation in order to spare the other person’s embarrassment.

I personally don’t feel that it’s right to pretend to know someone that I do not, but I don’t want the other person to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when they make this mistake. What does Miss Manners think?

GENTLE READER: That participating in a fraudulent conversation will prove to be far more embarrassing, once it is revealed, than politely correcting a simple mistake up-front. Miss Manners heartily recommends that you ignore your co-worker’s poor advice. And double-check his or her signatures on any important documents.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you weigh in on the trend of asking (or even just assuming) that the sibling of an invited child also attend a party?

Some party plans can easily absorb an extra guest into the activities and food, making it easy to be gracious; however, some party plans are more specific. For example, we recently hosted a party with very few guests because the planned activities required a lot of personalized preparation, such as making things for each child. The casual “Can so-and-so come as well?” made complying with the request not-so-casual for me! Even worse, it was well after the RSVP date, and the sibling and my child barely know one another.

I knew I would feel bad or irritated whatever my answer. I chose to act nice, yet seethe in private. What is the best way to handle these requests?

GENTLE READER: “I am so sorry, but I am afraid that we only have room for the children we invited. But we would love to get together with little Gigi on another day. Do the children know each other well?”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have a perpetual disagreement about who should say something first when a person bites her/his tongue at the dinner table and then exclaims out loud in a most jarring way.

He thinks the companion should offer sympathy to the tongue-biter first, and then the tongue-biter can apologize for disrupting the table. I think the opposite. What do you think? This crops up more often than you might expect and has become a wedge between us.

GENTLE READER: It comes up quite a bit more often than Miss Manners would think, if it troubles you enough to write to her about it. (What are you putting in the food?) But since it does, the tongue-biter should go first -- presuming from your description that the disruption is of a nature to require an apology.

Miss Manners recognizes that this gives the biter less time to recover before speaking, and wonders if, given the large amount of practice your husband is getting, he might not devote some time to toning down his reaction.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We understand the occasional need for a host to cancel a dinner party at the last minute. But when we received last-minute cancellations on two occasions during the past year with the explanation being that “the other guests could not make it,” we felt jilted.

We enjoy socializing with this couple, and avoid commenting about their canceled parties. However, we consider this rude behavior, and thought that an impartial opinion would serve us well.

GENTLE READER: It is to avoid this problem that hosts have secret “A” and “B” lists: so that empty places can be filled when guests decline an invitation without disenfranchising those who said “yes.”

This does not explain the problem cropping up at the last minute, unless perhaps the other guests were all arriving on the same canceled flight. In that case, Miss Manners counsels the host to explain the situation and apologetically offer a specific alternate date. Otherwise, she agrees that your erstwhile host’s behavior is rude.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Usually when I walk around school or in public, men are always opening doors for me and letting me go first. I guess they do it out of respect for women.

Now, if I open the door and another woman is about to walk through, should I let her go first and hold the door for her, or should I go first?

GENTLE READER: One holds the door for ladies (if a gentleman), those older than oneself, and people for whom opening the door would be a burden.

This latter group includes everything from someone struggling with a heavy package to wheelchair users, although in the latter case, etiquette also demands careful attention to the sensibilities of the beneficiary -- who may not appreciate a too-cavalier assumption of inability. Being a woman, and assuming that the other woman is your own age and unencumbered, you may proceed to enter. Miss Manners would not press the point if a collision is the likely result.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)