DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve got this roommate who goes into the restroom in the morning -- not a problem. But he goes in, and for 30 minutes to an hour, he does not make a sound. Sometimes he eats ice cream. Reads books. Does whatever weird things.

So he’s literally wasted an hour in there, and he’s now going to “interact“ with the shower -- he sometimes runs it for no reason, and other times does use it. But this adds another 30 minutes.

Is this too long, in terms of etiquette? How should I confront him about this issue?

GENTLE READER: Oddly enough, etiquette never got around to issuing a bathroom timetable. Nor does it take an interest, as you so keenly do, in the activities that go on inside.

Therefore the only possible question for Miss Manners to consider is what you should do when you need to use the bathroom and your roommate shows no signs of relinquishing it.

Well, you bang on the door and say, “I really need to get in there.” And you find a less urgent time to work out a schedule that will enable him to enjoy himself without making life difficult for you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have inherited some lovely jewelry. I would very much like to wear it, both for its beauty and for its association with the dear relative who left it to me. However, it seems distasteful to wear it so soon after her death, especially the pieces that she wore often and that will remind others of her.

Is there an appropriate mourning period after which it will be acceptable to wear it? Or do I need to have it redesigned so it will not be recognizable? That would make me sad, since I cherish her memory and would like to continue to be reminded of her through the jewelry she wore. But I don’t want to distress others or look like a grave robber.

GENTLE READER: You will look, Miss Manners assures you, as if you are honoring your relative by cherishing the jewelry she wanted you to enjoy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have seen different replies to this question: Is it proper etiquette to have the groom’s sister stand up in the wedding?

The groom and his sister are not close. Until two years ago, they didn’t even speak. She is insistent that she should stand up, and it is “proper etiquette” to have her. In the five years that the future bride and groom went out, the bride has just recently met her.

GENTLE READER: Sorry, but you have not been seeing “proper etiquette,” nor does the bridegroom’s sister sound as if she knows any.

Genuine etiquette authority is purposely vague about who should be in the wedding party, only suggesting that they be people who are important to the bridal couple. A bonus would be the ever-present stipulation underlying all manners: to avoid hurting people unnecessarily.

Just as Miss Manners cannot know who is important to any individual couple, she cannot know whether the family damage done in excluding this etiquette-free sister would be worth it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 13-year-old son is lucky enough to have a large group of friends. Two, in particular, stay at our house all weekend, almost every weekend. They are good boys with excellent manners.

The problem? It’s overwhelming, financially and logistically, to feed two extra boys every weekend. I work nights as a nurse, my husband has a demanding job, and we have four sons (one of whom is a toddler).

I once asked the parents to pick their children up mid-weekend because we were overwhelmed, and one of the fathers told his son that we “didn’t want him there.” Because our house is so busy, we often get takeout, but even cooking for these boys is becoming too much for my budget and my time.

I don’t want to hurt the boys’ feelings, but I’d like the parents to contribute financially or by offering to help feed the boys. How do I do so without repeating what happened last time I asked the parents for help?

GENTLE READER: Every weekend? Don’t these parents ever see their children?

Miss Manners recommends that you politely point this out: “We love having the boys over, but you must miss them when they are gone every weekend. If you want to work out a schedule so that we can share the pleasure, that would be wonderful.” That they should be reciprocating is a given, but it may be more effective to prey on their parental embarrassment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the past, I have given expecting co-workers a baby gift. In the unfortunate event that the mother suffers a miscarriage, sometimes the gift has been returned to me. Other than expressing my sincere sympathy again, what should my response be?

I understand that the mother might not want the reminder of the loss (for instance, keeping the gift for a future baby), but I also have no use for it. I would not feel comfortable giving these items to another person, especially someone the mother might know, where she might see the gift used. These gifts are chosen -- or sometimes handmade -- for that particular mother/baby.

What’s best for the grieving parents to do with gifts in this case? And what’s the best response to the mother for a returned gift under these circumstances?

I have been donating the items to charity. Would it be appropriate to tell them, or let the charity notify them, that this was done in memory of their child? Not for me to get “credit,” but as a comfort that their child’s loss at least benefited another.

GENTLE READER: Generally, presents that are given for a specific event should be returned if the event does not take place. But given the circumstances, Miss Manners hopes that grieving parents will be forgiven if that does not happen.

Present givers should not expect them back, nor should they go into detail about plans for items that are given back but are not returnable to a store. Donations made in their name, however well-intentioned, are in questionable taste at best. That is a decision that should only be made by the mourners.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At the grocery store, I was walking down a narrow aisle with my cart, keeping to my side of the aisle. While you could fit two carts passing side by side, it would have been a tight squeeze.

I was two-thirds of the way through when an older woman approached the aisle. She saw me coming, backed up a few steps, and moved aside for me to pass through. I smiled and nodded and continued on, out of her way.

As I passed, she irately yelled, “YOU’RE WELCOME!!!” at my back. Reflexively, I turned and said “Thank you,” but as I walked away, chastising myself for being rude, I began to question who was in the wrong in this scenario.

I had the right of way, since I was already in the aisle; I didn’t need or ask her to step aside, as we both could have fit through; stepping aside and waiting was her preference, and I obliged her by quickly getting out of her way so she could proceed comfortably.

Doesn’t she, in fact, owe me a “thank you,” if one is owed at all? Also, wouldn’t my smile and nod have sufficed in a situation of mutual convenience?

Miss Manners, I pride myself on etiquette and manners, and this situation has been eating at me for far longer than it’s worth.

GENTLE READER: To thank is polite; to demand thanks is rude. Miss Manners therefore declares that this etiquette competition is nullified. But she wonders why you would want to pursue the opponent’s way of thinking.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have always been generous with tips, particularly to restaurant servers. As a teenager, I would bring my baby-sitting money to sneak onto the table and supplement the somewhat miserly tips left by my father. (He insisted then, and still does, that 5 percent is acceptable and 10 percent is generous.)

Now, as an adult in her 30s, I tend to tip over the standard. Unless there was an issue with the server, I typically tip 30 percent. I understand that I give more than the typical amount, and have no issue with those who give less.

I run into trouble, however, when out to dinner with other people. My dining partners almost always ask, “What are you tipping?” and lean over the table to look at the ticket I am completing.

When I respond honestly, they act either embarrassed or upset (for tipping less) or they lecture me for the amount of my tip. When I refuse to answer, they seem suspicious.

What is the best way to respond to the question, “What are you tipping?”

GENTLE READER: “A cow and three chickens. How about you?”

Demanding disclosure of financial decisions is not polite. Miss Manners recommends that you reply to those seeking it, “Oh, I probably overdo it, but I know what it’s like to have student loans and fast food for dinner.”

And for any companions you suspect need more specific help, you might add, “Can you believe that my father used to think that 10 percent was generous?”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)