DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a female graduate student in a male-dominated field. While I feel that women are respected, for the most part, at my school, there is a strong bias in hiring and a visible minority of openly sexist students.

A few months ago, I had a particularly painful period, and was faint and nauseated for most of the day. Because it was the first day of class, I went, though I could not concentrate through the pain. After 40 or so minutes, I felt that I was on the verge of vomiting, and left in a hurry. I returned to collect my things after class had ended, but was still feeling so shaky that I didn’t speak to the professor, who was busy with others. I sent an email later that day in which I briefly apologized for leaving class, pleading a migraine.

Later, commiserating with a small group of friends over text, I told the embarrassing story. For the next 24 hours, I was berated for propping up the patriarchy by not marching up to my professor and telling him I was bleeding and would see him next week.

I was also lambasted for my insensitivity to those disabled by migraines but not taken seriously because of all the people who fake headaches to get out of things. I have no “icky” feelings about my period and openly discuss it with male friends, but apparently my commitment to feminism is suspect if I don’t air my dirty underwear to the professional world, as well.

I think it’s entirely my own business, and that unlike my friends’ stories of telling high-school teachers about their periods, in graduate school, this is inappropriate to the point of painful awkwardness. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: Really? You discuss your periods with your male friends? And what do they contribute to the conversation?

What would you expect a professor, male or female, to reply to that graphic announcement? “Congratulations”? “Should I call an ambulance?”

Many people, like your bullying friends, now believe that shame is the only reason for desiring privacy, and that if everything were out in the open, it would all be approved. They discount your valid feeling that you should be able to choose the degree of intimacy that you want in different relationships.

But they are also missing an important political point, which Miss Manners would think obvious to anyone who reads comments on social media: namely, that it is a naive fantasy that total openness necessarily produces acceptance.

Are you and your bullying friends unaware of how that patriarchy has regarded menstruation? Why would you want to supply them with an alert to judge your emotional or rational state at any given time?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We dine at casual eateries periodically with certain friends. One of them habitually excuses herself by announcing, “I need to go potty.”

This has progressed from embarrassing to simply annoying. What is the proper thing to say, or is it too late to say anything? Should it simply be ignored?

GENTLE READER: “Do you need help?” (Miss Manners is assuming that your friend has just completed toilet training.)

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I address an invitation to any individual who has dual personas? As we frequently host rather large social events, I am always striving to set an example for proper protocol.

We have several friends who are gender-fluid. One in particular is very well-known in the local community, news media and political arena as both a male and a female, with different names for each persona.

I would like to know how to extend an invitation to someone in this situation without dictating which “version” of them I would like to appear at our event. I’m basically expecting the invitee to decide who to be and what to wear.

Should we send two separate invitations to the same address, each with the appropriate name? Or one invitation with both names (which looks like we are inviting a couple)? Or simply decide which persona we want to appear at our event, and address the invitation to only one?

I prefer to pass the buck, and offer the freedom of self-determination to the invitee, but am unsure how to do so.

GENTLE READER: Issue one invitation and address it using the conjunction “or” between the two names. That way your guest is free to decide which persona will be attending.

Miss Manners notes that the polite response for any guest is to confirm who among the invitees will actually be there (“Thank you for inviting both my husband and me, but unfortunately only I will be able to attend”). However, she assumes that in this case, you will be pleased -- and not surprised -- to greet either one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife is totally disabled and requires 24-hour care. Fortunately, I have the means to provide her with a team of caregivers who look after her in our own home.

The employees are all young women, and I generally allow them to dress however they choose. One of them is particularly striking in appearance and very well-endowed. The concern is that she often wears clothing that is a little too revealing.

Although I’m old enough to be her grandfather, and totally loyal to my wife, some of her clothing choices still make me uncomfortable. How can I gently ask her to dress more modestly without embarrassing her or coming across as a dirty old man?

GENTLE READER: Of course, you are not supposed to notice her appearance or what she is wearing. But requiring proper dress is within the reasonable jurisdiction of the employer, especially, Miss Manners would assume, in health care.

If there is a third-party employer, like an agency or hospital that might be better equipped to address the situation, go there first. But if you are the direct employer, you may say, “I wonder if it might be better for the team to wear caregiver attire. That way, we won’t worry about your ruining your dressy clothes with our mess.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At my company, we have our personal cellphone numbers on our business cards, which is fine. Nowadays it would seem like burying our heads in the sand to pretend that it’s impossible to reach us outside the office.

However, I think it should be an unwritten rule that business acquaintances should only use that number when there’s a time-sensitive issue and they can’t reach me at the office.

The vast majority of people who have my card do treat it that way. However, there are a few who simply call my cell number freely, for reasons that aren’t urgent. (For what it’s worth, I don’t work in medicine or any other field where reaching me is actually life-or-death.)

To me, it’s like giving a neighbor an emergency key to your house. You want them to have it in case there’s ever a need, but you don’t want them using it to drop in for a midnight snack.

Is there a polite way to let people know that for ordinary business, they should really only call me at the office? Or should I just accept that since I’ve given them my cellphone number, they get to use it?

GENTLE READER: How would they know any better?

With the lines blurred between business and social situations and their respective calling cards (social cards being virtually nonexistent -- or existent only virtually), callers have no choice but to use the number that they are offered.

Miss Manners recommends that you create new business cards with only your office phone number listed. Then, if you find yourself with clients who will need more direct access to you, you may invite them to use your mobile telephone number and scribble it in by hand.

A conspiratorial “I only do this for clients I trust with my personal information” can be added, if you can muster it up without sounding creepy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When friends or family cancel after accepting an invitation, who bears the burden of rescheduling?

A friend canceled plans for lunch at our home -- the morning of the lunch. A family we know canceled a long-planned day trip because an event that their child had to attend came up after they accepted our invitation. Last summer, my brother and his family, who live about two hours away, canceled a holiday-weekend visit to our home -- the day before we expected them -- because their pet-care plans fell through.

I completely understand that life happens, but none of these people suggested an alternative plan when they canceled, and none have reached out to reschedule since then.

I have always thought the burden of rescheduling lies with the canceling party, but since no one has done it, I question my judgment. I also question whether it’s worth reinviting them to new events; it’s fair to conclude that they are signaling a lack of interest in socializing with us, and I don’t want to put people in the position of scrambling to politely decline. How would you proceed at this point? Are there different standards for friends and family?

GENTLE READER: You may stop issuing invitations to ungracious friends. To family, you may only stop issuing them with enthusiasm.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)