DEAR MISS MANNERS: A co-worker called me out because I do not respond to her “good morning” greeting by saying “good morning” as well, although I do acknowledge her greeting. I was more than a little upset with her stance that I was responding inappropriately, because she takes the attitude that she is always right about such things.

However, this same pillar of politeness speaks with her mouth full of food -- often. It’s frankly annoying and disgusting. And neither of us is a youngster; we are both well over 50 and should know better.

How can I (politely) point out her lack of manners? I’m a little uncomfortable stating, “Imogene, please stop talking with your mouth full.”

GENTLE READER: Interesting that while you objected to this co-worker correcting your manners, you are enlisting Miss Manners to help you to do the same. She is more than happy to do so, she just wants some acknowledgment of the duplicity.

“I am so sorry that I caught you while you were eating. I will come back at a more convenient time” is a polite way to ask her to finish her food before talking.

Not for nothing, “good morning” can reasonably be expected to be responded to in kind.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate for a bride to dictate her bridesmaids’ shoe color (e.g. requiring all bridesmaids wear silver shoes)? I’ve read wedding etiquette articles that suggest bridesmaids are responsible for buying their own attire of the bride’s choosing, but I’m not sure whether or not this includes footwear.

GENTLE READER: It should not, but seeing as brides also like to dictate hairstyles, makeup and the visibility of any tattoos or piercings, Miss Manners is sure that they feel entitled to mandate this expensive detail, as well. She suggests that you rally your fellow bridesmaids to offer the bride a choice from the range of shoe colors that are already in your closets.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am in a situation where I live out of the country part of the time. It is pretty homogeneous here in this other country, and I do not look like them. It is pretty obvious that I am a foreigner because of my race, height, language, etc.

When I am walking, people will just stop and stare, take photos, videos, point, try to touch me, reach for my hair, you name it. I try to ignore it or turn away from the photos. Is there another way to address this without using words? There is a language barrier, also.

GENTLE READER: Short of wearing a hat with a low brim and sunglasses (which will probably attract even more attention, as onlookers will assume you are a celebrity), your only choice seems to be to use words. Miss Manners advises you to learn how to say “no, thank you” in the appropriate foreign language. If you are living in another country part-time, surely these words will not go to waste.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a small community, where I am actively involved with a political party that is by far the minority. I consider myself reasonably well-versed in politics, and I am happy to have a civil conversation about it if a person seems genuinely interested in an open exchange of ideas.

But of course, most people are far more interested in telling me why their view is right than in actually participating in a productive discussion. I generally avoid political conversations in social situations such as church and family gatherings, and as a result, many people know me for years before learning my political affiliation.

How should I react when people learn of that affiliation, and immediately express scorn or begin trying to explain to me why I am wrong before even bothering to learn my personal views? I refuse to be drawn into hotheaded political arguments, because they seem like the surest way to end a genial relationship. But by leaving these attacks unanswered, I’m afraid some of my acquaintances are beginning to view me as dim-witted.

GENTLE READER: As that appears to be the result regardless, it seems to Miss Manners that not engaging involves far less effort and preserves more friendships. So does changing the subject.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Online fundraising has gone viral, and I am at my wits’ end. Friends importune me for money to go on trips, to go back to school, to get married, to create babies (no joke), and even to replace stolen personal equipment that people once insured against loss.

I have occasionally participated, usually either when I knew the people personally or when it was a terrible tragedy, well-documented in the media.

I’m at the point now that I try to ignore new fundraising projects, since any critique of such begging, however gently phrased, is interpreted as “insulting” to those who are presumed to be in such dire need (although the truly desperate circumstances are curiously rare).

Miss Manners, could you please wade into the fray and remind these people that it was once considered shameful to accept charity that was freely offered, even during desperate times such as the Great Depression? The idea of able-bodied people begging for handouts would have appalled our great-grandparents.

GENTLE READER: It would have indeed. The modern solution of “coping” with “negative emotions” -- Miss Manners is thinking specifically of shame and guilt -- by banishing them is foolish. They exist for a reason, namely, to discourage recidivism.

Proper shame at improper behavior, which certainly includes the solvent importuning their friends and neighbors for cash, has value. On a more practical note, people who have suppressed their own ability to feel shame should not be surprised if they find their intended victims impervious to guilt.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My niece invited me over to dinner, and she made fried chicken, along with some side dishes. The chicken wasn’t too good.

Should I share with her that her entree wasn’t good so she will know this? Or should I just be quiet and be appreciative that at least she tried?

GENTLE READER: No; try being grateful for your niece’s effort. And for the side dishes.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When it comes to parties, networking events and other “mingling” situations, are there etiquette rules for how to divide your attention among fellow guests?

Admittedly, I’m not the most patient person in the world, but I find it highly annoying when I have something specific to ask someone and am left standing by, while they chat on and on with someone else for 10 minutes or more.

Is there a polite way to break in under such circumstances, especially if what you have to say can be dealt with in a couple of seconds? And is there a polite way to wait your turn, other than staring into space, fuming silently?

And for those on the “deep in conversation” end, what would be a reasonable length of time to keep the “next person” waiting before acknowledging them with more than a quick “just a minute”?

GENTLE READER: The length (and depth) of conversations -- and the wait time to be included in one -- are in direct proportion to the speed with which one can make a polite getaway.

Thus the conversations you describe -- both the one keeping you waiting and the one you wish to initiate -- are out of place in an event designed to encourage quick mingling. The most in-depth conversations go with events that require luggage.

At a seated dinner, half the meal can be spent speaking to the person on your right before switching to the person on your left, so conversation is expected to be lengthier than at a cocktail party, where the idea is to make multiple contacts that may be followed up later.

In either situation, a desire to join the conversation is signaled by an attentive expression, followed up with more active participation in the subject matter. The current speaker acknowledges the new person, and then draws the newcomer into the conversation at the earliest opportunity.

This would be necessary at dinner, when those on either side of you have disobeyed the right-left order, and you would otherwise be left staring at your salmon.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter has booked a venue, purchased a dress and chosen attendants for her upcoming wedding. The bridesmaids have also purchased their dresses and threw an early bachelorette party in another state.

The couple has now decided to get legally married soon (for insurance reasons, etc.), and are considering canceling the formal gala. There will be obvious financial hits, but the big question is: What is proper etiquette for the bridesmaids who have bought dresses and organized a weekend celebration? The bride has already purchased lovely bridesmaid gifts. Should she plan a dinner and present the gifts? We are struggling with what is fair and just.

GENTLE READER: Uninviting one guest would be unmannerly. Miss Manners is therefore unable to contemplate the details of uninviting an entire wedding party.

She understands, or perhaps merely hopes, that the invitation in question is not the engraved one to attendees, but rather the implicit invitation that occurred when the attendants were asked -- and agreed -- to participate. Separating the legal and formal wedding is common, and should not be used to justify the contemplated rudeness.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)