DEAR MISS MANNERS: At family reunions, my sister-in-law waits until everyone has been fed, the cleanup is done, and there are only a couple of us left in the kitchen, talking. She then proceeds to take a spoonful out of every dessert left.

When I learned that she does this, I stopped eating any more desserts since I don’t want to eat after her. I KNOW if I say anything, they’ll make it seem that I’m being petty. How can I suggest this is awful, without them putting it back on me?

GENTLE READER: The answer depends on the ownership of the kitchen. In your sister-in-law’s kitchen, it will be best to bite your tongue and leave the desserts to fend for themselves. In your own kitchen, Miss Manners counsels you to express enthusiasm that she enjoyed the desert, as you follow after her with tin foil, wrapping each one up and handing it to her to finish at her leisure.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the polite way to handle this situation? Someone who has been invited to a small party approaches the host in public, when he or she is surrounded by people who have not been invited, and talks about the party. I am wondering about the answer to this both from the host’s perspective and the non-invitees’ perspective. Thanks for any light you can shed on this situation!

GENTLE READER: Although the host has not yet officially assumed his role, it is his responsibility as host-elect to attempt to resolve this awkward situation. A hand placed on the invitee’s arm and a “Could we possibly discuss this later?” -- accompanied by a significant look -- should make the point. The non-guests will have to do their best to pretend not to have heard. Miss Manners realizes this will be difficult if the sudden revelation of a party to which they were not invited is not a pleasant one.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Being a Washingtonian, I inevitably have to discuss politics with anyone from the mailman to my boyfriend’s parents, whether I want to or not.

At dinner with a few families, I was asked directly whether or not I thought a politician should be fired due to a specific incident. I was both astounded that I was asked so directly, and embarrassed that I didn’t have an opinion. Truly shocked, I fumbled for a response. I knew very little about the matter, as I had been traveling and working long days, with little screen time to catch up on news.

Is there a polite and genuine way to relay that I don’t feel informed enough to have an opinion without sounding rude or ignorant?

GENTLE READER: Do you not realize that when people badger you for your opinion, they only want to make sure that it agrees with theirs -- and are planning to badger you more if it does not?

You may skip that by giving them the opportunity to sound off, which Miss Manners suggests doing by saying, “I haven’t made up my mind. Tell me what you think.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A father recently passed away, leaving two daughters, 16 and 11. The relatives have established a college fund website for the girls. Donations are made online, and the donor’s name and donation amount can remain visible, or one or both can be hidden.

What is the proper thing to do? If the amount is not visible, then the family won’t know what you gave them. But you might not want it visible, either, if you gave little (or a lot). Neither option feels comfortable.

GENTLE READER: Do you suppose that there should be a donor-level distinction in letters of thanks for such kind benefactors? From “How generous of you” to “Gee, thanks,” to “Can’t you do better?”

Miss Manners would think that the bereaved would be touched by any such response, without measuring the amount of gratitude by counting the till.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My partner and I host many dinner parties. Whereas I am an abysmal cook, my partner is an amazing one. Often at one of our hosted dinners, I will bite into something truly delectable and will want to compliment the chef by saying how really delicious it is.

Unfortunately, I am also struck by the thought that this is rather impolite and gauche. Does one compliment the chef, even though you are both the hosts? Or does one have to wait until an invited guest does so? I do not want to prompt my guests, but I also want to express my true appreciation for something wonderfully created.

GENTLE READER: Are you insisting on praising your partner when your mouth is full? Can’t you wait until you are doing the dishes together?

Even if you are kindly letting the chef go to bed after doing all that cooking, Miss Manners thinks you would have time to say how delectable you found the meal without forcing your guests to assent or even seconding their praise.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In today’s “sharing” economy, there seems to be a level of expected niceties. I frequently find myself in a car on the way to an airport, wondering how to escape a lengthy, forced discussion. I imagine that the driver is also tired of the same conversations and would enjoy a chance for a moment or two of silence.

At times, I am working. At other times, I am communicating with whoever will be expecting me at my destination, or am coordinating my ID, boarding pass, etc.

Earlier this week, I found myself forced to explain the medical details of why we were heading to a health care facility!

Is there any polite way to avoid the awkward and unnecessary conversations that come with the conveniences of today’s economy?

GENTLE READER: Unfortunately, conversation seems to be a commodity in these ride-sharing programs.

Miss Manners has found that most of them have a ratings system where you can express your opinion of the driver -- and it often includes rating your conversation. She urges you to share your opinion to the contrary with the company, but until the system is rectified, you may give its drivers polite, limited responses to their inquiries. If that does not work say, “I am so sorry, but I have to get some work done/take this call. Perhaps we can chat later.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been in my line of business for about 10 years, and am increasingly dealing with higher-level management clients at large companies. Clients can be more or less agreeable, but there have been only two instances in my career that a client has crossed a line firmly into the unprofessional, becoming verbally abusive or shouting at my team and me.

Both times, I was so surprised that I did not know what to do, so I just stared at the client in great surprise, waited a beat, and then kept talking about the business issue. One time, the client apologized afterward; the other time, the client issued a half-apology.

I do not anticipate many such situations in the future, but does Miss Manners have a better way of responding to situations such as this? In retrospect, I wish I had told the client something that indicated I would not tolerate this behavior. I do not mind losing business if that is the outcome -- my team (often young women) and I deserve professional treatment at all times. I could try practicing proper responses, just in case.

GENTLE READER: You would be justified in saying exactly that, in measured tones that both model good behavior and make your point. But your previous method of a confounded and lengthy stare seems to have worked well, too.

You should not be deterred by the stare’s half-hearted response. It seems to Miss Manners that anyone who is willing to shout and become verbally abusive is not likely to do more than give a half-apology for that behavior. Quietly terminating the business relationship, however, will likely be even more effective.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)