DEAR MISS MANNERS: For well over a year now, I have been attending a managers’ meeting twice monthly at my firm. There are about eight persons in the group, and naturally it has evolved that we tend to sit in the same seats every meeting, where we eat lunch first.

Two meetings ago, there was a shift in the composition of the group: One person left the team and a new member joined. This person happens to be good friends with another person in the group.

Last meeting, the new member sat beside me. (The person who normally sits there didn’t attend, and no doubt wouldn’t mind anyway, as she is new to the group.) At today’s meeting, however, when I entered the room, her friend was in “my” seat and my lunch was placed further down the table. That person’s usual seat on the other side of the table was not taken.

What is the protocol here? Am I being overly sensitive to think she could have at least acknowledged that she had displaced me from my usual seat, of which she was well aware? Even a humorous comment would have made me feel better. Overly sensitive?

GENTLE READER: The tendency of meeting-goers to assume squatter’s rights over particular chairs leads to more misunderstandings in the workplace than Miss Manners likes to contemplate.

She could also note her astonishment that people who pride themselves on their businesslike, i.e., forthright, approach to life are so squeamish on the subject. If chairs are assigned, someone should say so; if they are not, then you should get on with the business of the day.

Miss Manners at least, feels better, even if she has not solved your problem. If we really must play musical chairs at every meeting, then Miss Manners coaches newcomers to arrive one minute before the meeting time -- when most people are in the room -- and ask in a loud, cheery voice, “Are there assigned seats for this meeting?” The agenda of the meeting can then be thrown out in favor of a lengthy debate on the question.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For a friend’s retirement party, the invitation did not include my husband, so he did not go with me. When I got there, I found that many couples (friends of ours) were there.

Everyone, even the honoree’s husband, kept asking me where my husband was. I answered that the honoree did not know my husband well, so he was not invited. I felt awkward and embarrassed. How should I have handled this?

GENTLE READER: After you politely followed your hosts’ instructions, it is galling to learn that the invitation did not accurately express their intentions.

But broadcasting that your husband was not invited is neither polite nor will it assuage your own embarrassment. The criticism of your hosts in such a statement is explicit, the fact that no one else complied with similar invitations is implicit, and it makes clear that you are embarrassed -- as well as the only one who misunderstood. It would be better to say how sorry your husband was not to have been able to come, and omit the reason why.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was given an old mirror to use for an art show, as a feature in my booth where I sell women’s clothing of my own design. The friend who let me use it was vague about whether it was lent or given for that purpose. The mirror appears to be a part of an old armoire and doesn’t have any monetary or sentimental value. Three years have passed since the show. The mirror has since decorated my 5-year-old daughter’s room, where she uses it to dress, often checking her “look.”

The other day, my friend said, “Hey, if you have that mirror, I want it back.”

I am not a miserly person, but I kind of feel a little bit like a public storage unit. Do you have any thoughts or reflections about this situation, or am I totally in the wrong for feeling off about returning the item? Should I return it or let her know that I gave it to my daughter?

GENTLE READER: Three years is a long time for a mirror to be in doubt about its owner, and, assuming it’s not talking (other than to declare everyone who uses it the fairest of all), probably also too long to know who was in the wrong. Is it the owner for changing her mind, you for assuming that a loan was a present, or everyone, in that there was no mutual understanding at the time it was handed over?

Fortunately, it makes no difference. The owner now believes it was a loan, which means she is, gently or not-so-gently, accusing you of making off with her belonging.

The first order of business is therefore to clear yourself of the charge by apologizing and confessing that you misunderstood, as you thought it was a present. Miss Manners has no objection to your mentioning how attached your daughter has grown to it, so long as you then earnestly offer to return it.

If this does not discourage your friend from insisting on having it back, you will have to turn it over graciously if you wish to keep the friendship. It is worth remembering that what you consider uncompensated storage, she may think of as an uncompensated loan.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a college freshman. My dad is giving my classmate and me a long ride, like two hours.

Should I sit in the front so that he won’t feel he’s being treated like a driver, or should I sit with my classmate in the back seat, since I don’t want to be rude to my guest?

GENTLE READER: You are right to think of yourself as a host in this situation, but Miss Manners has an easy solution. Put your classmate in the front. You thereby make it clear that your father is not the chauffeur, and your friend is not the baggage. It also leaves you free to swoop in to facilitate conversation as you like.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I go grocery shopping two times a month. To expedite the process, each of us retrieves half of the items on the grocery list, and we use two carts. I always keep my cart right next to me, and only leave it to take a few steps down or across an aisle to retrieve an item.

My husband will leave his cart at the far end of an aisle for around a minute or so (occasionally more) when he’s retrieving a few items at the other end. He will also leave the cart in one aisle to grab some items from another aisle. I do not expect him to be quite as fastidious as I am about staying near the cart, but I have witnessed people having to jostle around his cart or having some difficulty reaching items that his cart is obstructing.

He insists that such occurrences do not happen as much as I think they do (which may be true, as I am often in another section of the store, getting the items on my half of the list), and that he isn’t separated from his cart long enough for his behavior to be rude. He does try to grab items quickly when he leaves the cart unattended.

My opinion is that his behavior is inconsiderate to fellow shoppers. Am I right?

GENTLE READER: Not having checked on him either, Miss Manners cannot know whether it is true that he rarely does this, and only for a few moments. She would therefore be inclined to trust his word -- unless he also leaves his car in the middle of the street while he does errands.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My child attends high school with 2,200 other students. Today, a Friday, they found a gift card on school grounds in the dirt valued at $10 for a local ice cream parlor.

Since this occurred after a club meeting, school had been dismissed for more than one hour, the office was closed and the students and staff had departed, not to return until Monday.

Honesty is very important to me, so I am wondering if it is OK under these circumstances to allow my child to keep the gift card for their own use. I’m sure it can be turned in to the office on Monday as a lost-and-found item; however, the chances of the owner being found are slim.

Am I simply looking for an excuse to allow my child to keep it, or is keeping it acceptable?

GENTLE READER: Yes, you are looking for an excuse, and no, it is not acceptable.

Access to this ice cream is not melting over the weekend, Miss Manners feels obliged to point out. So there is no reason not to do the honest thing and turn in the card -- hoping that no one will show up to claim it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How much time should elapse before an RSVP is answered?

GENTLE READER: Long enough for the recipient to get to the nearest telephone, device or desk.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)