DEAR MISS MANNERS: Since the birth of my daughter five years ago, I have become aware of a tendency in adults, especially older adults, to treat children as the butt of jokes, often demanding a response.

When we had to call a tow truck last year, the driver repeatedly ribbed my daughter about crashing the car, jokingly pretending she was the driver. When she later asked me how she should have responded, I had no idea.

When she was a toddler, her own grandfather seemed to make fun of the fact that she ate anything at all. I really couldn’t explain why he thought it was funny. When she ate, he would just go into a mock chewing routine and laugh.

When she went to the doctor for shots, bringing along her doll, the nurses made fun of the doll’s name for not being sufficiently “original.”

We witnessed some adults teasing a 4-year-old for allegedly having the same name as a princess (though not one we had ever heard of). They kept asking, “Where’s your crown?” until she stated that she didn’t have one and walked away.

What are adults hoping to extract from children with lines like these? How on earth are children meant to respond?

GENTLE READER: Why anyone feels the need to tease people or state the obvious is beyond Miss Manners, but clearly this phenomenon is not confined to children. Unfortunately, they just tend to be easier targets for amateur comedians.

However, as your last example demonstrates, children generally lack the filter to censor themselves when asked silly questions, and are therefore mostly capable of adequate defense. When the children are old enough to control these impulses -- which is younger than most are given credit for -- a parent would do well to teach them the “weak smile” (closed, upturned lips accompanied by a serious stare). While technically polite, when done correctly it conveys the proper amount of weariness to halt further unwanted teasing. This gesture will undoubtedly get them through a myriad of unfunny and unwelcome quips and conversations that, as humans, they will likely have to endure for a long time to come.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I received a piece of mail addressed in handwriting to Mr. & Mrs. (Husband’s Name). We didn’t recognize the return address, as we don’t know anyone who lives in that town, but assumed the contents would explain that.

However, it turned out to be a sympathy card, and according to the handwritten note inside, while the gentleman it was intended for may share my husband’s (admittedly common) name, the wife does not share mine, and we do not know the people who signed the card.

Should we let the senders know that the card did not reach the intended party, so that they have another opportunity to express their sympathies? Or do we spare them the potential embarrassment, considering that they apparently don’t know the bereaved well enough to have their correct address?

GENTLE READER: Such embarrassment would be minimal at best, compared to that of the letter not going to the correct recipient. Addresses change and this could have simply been an oversight. Miss Manners recommends that you not overthink this and just send the letter back.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Caller ID and other technologies made it possible, for a few years, to screen out telemarketers by ignoring phone calls from unfamiliar numbers. But technology marches on, and now telemarketers are using false phone numbers, lifelike recordings and intelligent voice recognition to fool people into accepting calls we don’t want and engaging with callers who may well not even be human.

What’s our obligation to be polite when a call is deceptive and the caller possibly a robot? May one talk over a caller who never stops to breathe, saying, “Thank you, but I’m not interested”? If the caller is pre-programmed to respond in a way most likely to extend the conversation, is it acceptable to hang up the phone wordlessly?

GENTLE READER: Yes. If you have made every effort to politely interrupt the person, but to no avail, then they only have themselves to blame for the disconnection.

And as faultlessly well-mannered and undiscriminating as Miss Manners may be, she does not require you to be polite to a robot.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother and I attended the funeral of a dearly loved aunt. After the services, my mother offered to cook my uncle a meal at his home, as he did not feel like going out.

Somehow this escalated into the entire family being invited, which my mother graciously accepted. The next day, she went out and purchased a 10-pound roast, along with food to make sides.

Upon returning to the house, my cousin’s adult daughter (21 years old), looked at the food and asked how many people it was for. When I listed off the people, which amounted to 21, eight of whom are small children, she bluntly told my mother that she hadn’t purchased enough food and that she would still be hungry after dinner. Her mother supported her in her criticism.

My uncle, mother and I found this very rude. Are we overreacting? Who was in the wrong?

GENTLE READER: Pre-emptively claiming future hunger -- or criticizing anything about a meal that one has been invited (or especially invited oneself) to -- is clearly rude.

On top of that, it seems to Miss Manners that your cousin’s daughter’s forecasted problem was imminently solvable. If she insisted that she would be hungry afterwards, you could have politely suggested that she procure more food. For everyone.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my daughters invited some friends to a sleepover at our house, one mother asked if I would be providing supper. I said that I would, mentioning that we would be having hamburgers and fries.

One girl immediately declared her hatred of these foods. Before I thought how to respond, the girl’s mother assured her that it was OK, that I would find something she would like to eat.

This put me in an awkward position, as that particular child proved to be extremely picky. While I did want to be a gracious hostess, I did not wish to be a short-order cook for a child who refused numerous options. What would have been a reasonable response on my part?

GENTLE READER: “Well, I will certainly do my best, and I hope that she will find something she might like.” Miss Manners recommends that this statement be uttered with studied and consistent eye contact with the parent.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Frequently, I hear voicemail greetings where the person I am calling informs me that they will return my call at their “earliest convenience.”

Is this the appropriate/polite way to use this phrase? Am I wrong to find this a bit rude?

GENTLE READER: The phrase first appeared in business settings as a request (“Please return my call at your earliest convenience”), rather than a promise -- the test results had come in and your doctor’s office was expressing the hope that you would call back.

Promising that you will call someone back when it is convenient to you certainly lacks charm, although Miss Manners suspects that people have heard the phrase so many times they have simply stopped parsing the actual words.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper method of handling the sight of roaches walking across the floor of a restaurant? And what is the proper way to handle a server delivering food to the table, turning their head and coughing onto the food they are about to serve you? Please share your thoughts.

GENTLE READER: The chief thought is: “Ewww. Time to find another restaurant.”

But in both cases, the problem needs to be brought to the attention of management, and, if not met with proper horror, the local health department, so that corrective action may be taken.

This is easier to do when the restaurant’s representative, in your case, the waiter, is not also the perpetrator. A properly trained waiter will demonstrate not just interest but grave concern over reports of infestations. A plate that has been coughed on should be replaced, a point you can take up with the waiter but may prefer to bring directly to higher authority.

Miss Manners warns you that in neither instance will it be easy to verify that corrective action has, or will be, taken. If the arrangement of vegetables on a plate that has supposedly been replaced looks familiar, you may wish to decamp.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please tell me if I am being too sensitive. Twice recently, I have invited different groups of friends over for dinner. On each occasion, someone has responded that they weren’t available on the selected date, but would like for everyone to come to her home on an alternate date.

I find it rude to turn my invitation into a gathering at one’s own home. I believe that if you would like to host an event, you should initiate the invitation yourself.

Am I overreacting? This has really been bothering me, as I hate to upset my friends by not succumbing to their wishes.

GENTLE READER: Hospitality is meant to be reciprocated, a fact Miss Manners reminds you of, as it provides an easy solution to your predicament.

When one of your would-be guests proposes an alternate date, treat it as a separate event from your own -- as the natural follow-up to your own event. Strictly speaking, one cannot reciprocate for an event one did not attend, but that is a technicality that friends should overlook.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)