DEAR MISS MANNERS: I advertise online for models to use in my artwork, with expectedly mixed results. If I’m lucky, about 30 percent of the respondents are suitable subjects and/or are actually interested in posing.

Is it too severe to state in my ad, “Serious only; please don’t waste your time or mine” in (probably vain) hopes of avoiding flakes? Might another form of words be more effective?

How should I reply most tactfully to people I don’t wish to work with? “Thanks for your reply, but no thanks” sounds too bare and cold.

GENTLE READER: All teenagers with camera phones probably consider themselves to be experienced models, and therefore feel justified in padding their resumes.

But this is a business transaction and should be treated as such. To guard against unwanted applicants -- and to protect yourself from accusations of subjectivity -- Miss Manners suggests that you put in your advertisement: “Professional experience required. Serious inquiries only, please.”

You then may make your own judgment of what “experience” entails. And if your applicants do not pass muster, you may simply say, “Thank you for your inquiry, but we are unable to use you at this time.” No need for apology or explanation -- especially since no good can likely come from either.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend called me to say she and her husband “had an extra ticket” to a theater production that night (their daughter had canceled). Would I like to join them? We would go to dinner first and then proceed to the theater. The play was not one I would have chosen, but I readily said yes, as I had no plans and enjoy these friends very much.

The dinner bill came and of course I expected to pay my share. However, as the husband hovered over the bill, he mentioned that I should also add in the price of the theater ticket (his wife was nodding).

I was shocked and uncomfortable, as no mention had been made about me reimbursing them for the unused ticket. In my experience, an extra ticket is normally freely given at the last minute, or at the very least, the cost of said ticket should be mentioned upfront when “inviting” someone to take it. When I have been a recipient in the past, I have silently noted the generosity and found a suitable way to reciprocate later.

This ticket was expensive, but I readily paid the total amount. Frankly, I felt a bit used and did not entirely enjoy the rest of the evening. I am single and get by OK, while my friends are quite wealthy. Where did they, or I, go wrong from an etiquette standpoint?

GENTLE READER: If your friends expected you to pay, then, as you said, they should have mentioned it: “We have an extra ticket to sell. We thought we would offer it to you first.”

Since they did not do this, Miss Manners agrees that you were justified in feeling put out. To avoid this happening again, she recommends that the next time you are invited to a paid event without a mention of price, you could ask, “How much do I owe you?” in the hope that the issuers would demur politely. And if they did not, at least you would be prepared to demur politely yourself.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my fiance and I got engaged, I told him that I did not need a ring. He insisted that he wanted to give me one, which I was fine with -- I just didn’t want him to feel obligated to buy me an expensive ring.

Ultimately, he was gifted a gorgeous ring from his grandmother to give to me as an engagement ring. I am so very in love with this ring, for both its beauty and its source.

Moreover, I am often told that it is very fitting to me. My fiance spent a lot of time looking at rings before his grandmother told him she had something he might be interested in, and not until he saw her ring did he think anything he had looked at “fit” me. In short, it’s perfect.

While not ostentatious or gaudy, the ring is larger than I ever would have dreamed, and frankly larger than he would have been able to afford. Because of this, there is a degree to which I am sometimes (especially among certain less-affluent friends) a little self-conscious of its size. Frequently, after receiving a compliment on the ring, I explain that it is an heirloom, thereby cutting anyone off from thinking about its cost to my fiance.

I remember learning in French class that when the French receive a compliment, they respond with some version of “Oh, this old thing?” Is my response to compliments on my ring rude in American culture? Is it just another way of bragging (if I am honest, I am quite proud)? Is it rude or disrespectful to my fiance?

GENTLE READER: America has appropriated many countries’ practices to varying degrees of success (often for their monetary incentives), but Miss Manners has always disliked this particular one, although she hardly blames it solely on the French. She finds it not necessarily rude, but simply unbecoming. The supposed modesty in insulting the very thing that another has just complimented is misplaced. After all, are you not then insulting that person’s taste for liking it?

Your response should simply be, “Thank you.” If the subject invites further inquiry -- or a long pause in conversation -- you may proceed and explain its charming origin, as long as this is done so anecdotally, not apologetically.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I introduce myself to someone I believe I have not met, but they reply that we have met, what is the proper response?

Sometimes I apologize and say I’m terrible with faces. Other times, I feign recognition. Still other times, I feign dim recognition, followed by a query about how we met, so that they’ll fill me in and I won’t be conversing blind. What’s right?

GENTLE READER: As you realize, all answers to this question are awkward. Therefore, Miss Manners advises turning it around and saying “You’re so kind to remember me.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Etiquette-wise, is it acceptable to use someone else’s trash bin? I have a neighbor who often, when passing by, throws away an empty water bottle, or a snack wrapper, inside my trash can. I guess trash is trash and it makes no difference whose bin it is, especially since the type of garbage in question is “innocuous” (nothing like dog’s waste or similar), and it surely would be worse if the neighbor littered instead of using a bin.

But still, every time this happens, I can’t help but feel irritated. What is Miss Manners’ take?

GENTLE READER: The courts have generally concluded that people’s interest -- both legal and philosophical -- in their own trash is limited, as evidenced by the fact that they threw it out. Miss Manners is inclined to agree, and to extend the ruling to the contents generally. So long as the neighbor is not causing the bin to overflow, to smell, or to draw attention in some other way, innocuous contributions would best be ignored in the interest of neighborliness.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I find it mockingly insulting when a girl that you previously dated, and asked to an informal dinner, asks what the dress code is.

It puts pressure on the situation to make it more formal than it is, and what if I said formal (as in, I am trying to date her again) -- would she take it the wrong way and get insulted? Or what if she IS interested and I say casual, and she gets insulted that it is not a date?

Either way, I argued that for an informal occasion, the question should not even have been asked.

GENTLE READER: It seems just possible that you have concerns beyond the level of formality of the dinner, but Miss Manners will answer the question you have posed. Assuming that you told the lady that the dinner was to be informal, why would she ask again? She may have a nefarious purpose, as you suspect, or she may simply not have heard you the first time.

You might also consider that the definitions of formal and informal (not to mention the ubiquitous but fuzzy meaning of “casual”) vary enormously depending on the context and even individual interpretation. Is it too much of a stretch for you to consider that your friend is merely trying to figure out what would be appropriate for her to wear?

Whether or not communication was a problem the first time you dated, if you truly intend to begin fresh, the wisest course -- and the most civil -- is to understand text before delving into subtext. Assume her question was an honest one, and answer it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude to leave a wedding before the cake is cut, if it is 11:30 p.m. and the cake has not yet been cut (and it does not appear imminent)?

GENTLE READER: Contrary to the wedding industry’s opinion, cake-cutting is not part of the marriage ceremony. Miss Manners permits weary guests, who have presumably already put in hours of attendance, to take their leave.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)