DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate to call another woman’s husband a pet name and leave voicemail messages that start off as “Hi, honey”?

GENTLE READER: Curious as Miss Manners is as to your own part in the aforementioned drama -- wife, husband or other woman -- she is unsure of the identity of the caller, which affects her answer.

The husband’s mother gets a pass, with perhaps some room for a droll, longtime family friend. Other ladies will need either an innocuous pet name or a good explanation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am normally addressed by my last name, or some variation on “Doctor,” and my correspondence has only my initials. Few people call me by my first name or simply my first initial.

I have been engaged in polite correspondence with a business acquaintance, which is blossoming into a friendship. I know that some initial information contained my name, but all follow-up communiques have been via email and did not contain my first name.

On two separate occasions, this person has accidentally emailed and addressed me by the wrong first name. The first was on a condolence note and that did not seem like the time to offer a correction. The second time was recently and on more routine correspondence via email.

I do not wish to give offense, but I would not like to leave the person mistaken in my name. Should I simply add to my next reply the ending of “Sincerely yours, (Correct Name)” and hope the recipient notices? Or in replying to the email, where there will be the previously written text, I could insert a phrase like “Oops, it’s actually (Correct Name).”

GENTLE READER: In the days when people distinguished their co-workers from their friends, one way of signaling the occasional transition from one category to the other was by inviting the person to address you by your first name. Miss Manners recommends reviving the tradition in your case.

If you were to say how much you have enjoyed getting to know your acquaintance better and that you look forward to a long friendship, you could insert a request that they call you by your first name. Since such requests are, today, unusual -- and, in this case, after the fact -- your new friend may pause long enough to learn your real name.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine is dead. Do I send a sympathy card to the ex-wife? They were married 30-plus years, divorced maybe five years, and have two adult sons handling all the arrangements. I definitely sent cards to the sons, but am not sure about the ex-wife (she has remarried).

GENTLE READER: Unless you were close to the ex-wife, and have reason to know that her feelings about the deceased were such as to cause grief at his death, Miss Manners recommends that you limit your condolences to those whose claims to bereavement are clearer.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have gathered from reading your column that one should not ask personal questions of strangers, nor make comments (even positive ones) regarding their appearance. I have also gathered that the response of the approached person should be civil, but not revealing.

How, if at all, is this rule altered when the approaching person is an adult and the approached is a young child?

My nearly 3-year-old child is approached several times on any given outing, with comments about her (fairly ordinary) clothing and questions about her age, name and favorite color. What we have been doing, so far, is to have me answer the questions (more specifically than I prefer, because I don’t know how to word a vague reply) and thank strangers for their compliments while she remains silent.

I would like to teach her an all-purpose sentence that is polite, but discourages further, unwanted conversation. What I believe she would like to convey is, “I appreciate your interest, but my mother and I would prefer to continue our shopping (or conversation, or walk) undisturbed.” Of course, I know that wording is not correct, so I turn to Miss Manners for something better.

GENTLE READER: If you can get your 3-year-old to recite the sentence you propose, Miss Manners suspects you will have no further problems: You will have plenty of time to make a discreet escape while the now-perplexed questioner wonders at her precocious politeness.

Failing that, let your daughter answer the first question naturally, then politely interrupt and apologize, explaining to child and stranger alike that it is time to go.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the most proper method of apologizing to a company that complained -- not to me, or to my team leader, but to the company owner -- that I was unprofessionally emotional while trying to finalize a ridiculously challenging deal? (My first ever, by the way.)

Had they brought their concerns to me, or even just to my team leader, my apology would be sincere, but now it is tainted with resentment. In most cases, I would prefer to do it in person, or even in a written note, but in this case would an email be sufficient?

GENTLE READER: There are many ways to undercut the apology you are delivering. Using a less formal method of communication -- email -- may be less objectionable than a teenager’s delivering it in a sarcastic tone or an adult’s use of a non-apology (“I’m sorry you were offended”).

But whence all this resentment? Miss Manners could not help but notice that you never denied the charge. You excused it, and you object that the complainant jumped too many levels in reporting it. Neither entitles you to respond emotionally.

And given the original offense, Miss Manners would have thought you might wish to plant some doubt with your employer about your propensity to misbehave. A handwritten note will do this more effectively than email, and without the danger that your temper may ruin an in-person apology.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son has a 3-year-old daughter with his fiancee. His fiancee’s mother and father have been divorced for about 12 years and are on very unfriendly terms.

Because the bride doesn’t want her mother to make a scene on her special day, the bride and my son have chosen to marry with only their daughter, the minister and a witness present.

I love my future daughter-in-law very much. But as the mother of the groom, I am very sad that I will not get to see my only son get married. I feel that the bride’s parents could surely get along for an hour for the sake of their daughter’s happiness.

The couple plan to have a luncheon following the ceremony with immediate family only. The bride’s mother has remarried and will be coming with her current husband and her son. There will be a separate luncheon and shower for the bride’s father’s side of the family.

I understand this will be the bride’s day, but my husband and I feel we are being penalized because of issues between her mother and father. I am really sad. I do not want to add drama to the situation and don’t want to cause any hard feelings between anyone, but I am feeling hurt.

GENTLE READER: That it is “the bride’s day,” with the understanding that therefore she can do whatever she wants, is an expression that Miss Manners loathes. No one should have a day off from being considerate of others, and especially not on a family occasion.

But this poor bride, caught between warring forces, is not asking for self-glorification. She only wants a dignified and peaceful ceremony. And no doubt she knows better than you that her parents could not “surely” get along for an hour.

Presumably, you are included in the luncheon afterward, perhaps even both luncheons. What you can do is what the other parents apparently cannot: Enjoy the occasion without tainting it with any hurt feelings of your own.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My neighbor asked my daughter to look after their two dogs for a week while they were on vacation. They gave her a very demanding schedule to follow, which she happily complied with. They said they would pay her, but specific amounts were not discussed.

They have been back from vacation for a couple of weeks now and stopped by a few days ago to see how things went. However, they have still not paid her.

How would you suggest she handle this situation? My daughter feels like she has been taken advantage of.

GENTLE READER: As she will continue to be, if she does not learn proper business procedures.

Miss Manners understands that your daughter feels that it would be unseemly for her to ask for payment from the neighbors, with whom you have a sort of social relationship. But once they hired her, a business relationship was established. Then it is not just proper, but expected that she will present a bill for her services, which can be softened with a note about how she was happy to help them. Please encourage her to do so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)