DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I decided to hyphenate our names when we were married. However, people still address me, both in person and in writing, as “Emily Jones” or “Mrs. John Jones,” even though my preferred title is “Ms. Smith-Jones.”

When this happens, I usually smile and say “Actually, it’s Smith-Jones.” Most people apologize and immediately begin using the correct name from that point forward, but some continue to refer to both me and my husband as “The Jones Family” or “Mr. and Mrs. Jones.”

What can I say or do to get people to call me by my name?

GENTLE READER: Not much. Miss Manners advises that you accept that these people are either forgetful, or are slaves to the patriarchy and trying to keep you down. (She suspects that you have concluded the latter, and cautions you against invoking any subtext or smugness in that initial, smiling correction.)

In any case, pressing the matter beyond your smiling correction is likely to result in an unpleasant and ultimately futile conversation.

There are so many possible name combinations in modern-day use that it is difficult to keep track. And while that does not mean that we should not all still make the effort, slip-ups should be forgiven, probably ignored and definitely excused without taking offense. So introduce yourself and sign your preferred name, but resist correcting anyone more than once.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend from high school who has become a professional artist in NYC. I haven’t spoken to him in years and we were never particularly close, but I’ve been following his career through our Facebook friendship and I genuinely love some of his work.

I like it so much, in fact, that I am considering purchasing a piece. However, I have no idea what it’s worth and I don’t know the right way to broach the subject.

I’ve never bought art before, and don’t know what to offer or how to ask. I don’t know what any of it has sold for. I’m afraid if I offer too little he’ll be offended, but I’m also afraid he’ll tell me it’s worth more than I can afford, which would also be embarrassing. How should I handle this?

GENTLE READER: Ask him. This is a business transaction and not a social one -- an important distinction that Miss Manners finds more frequently violated in the reverse (with hapless co-workers forced to socialize in the name of “good business”).

If your friend is truly a professional artist, then he is used to these proceedings. Or would dearly like to be. Tell him that you have fallen in love with one of his pieces and want to purchase it. Then ask him how much it is.

If it is out of your price range, tell him so. There is no shame in this. But if it also inadvertently turns into a bargaining tactic, so be it. Attention to the social situation merely dictates that you just not enter the negotiation with that intent.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I seem to be unable to come up with a polite, conversation-ending response to aggressive sales associates in stores who push you to open the store’s credit card. I understand that they are directed to ask by the store management, and I also know they are usually incentivized to do so.

This weekend, a salesperson was harassing the older woman in front of me who was paying cash for a large purchase -- at her husband’s direction, she explained (uncomfortably) to the clerk. The clerk responded that her husband didn’t need to know she opened the account! Without missing a beat, she next pressured me to open an account too, to save $6.

The salespeople do not know anything about the customer standing in front of them. For all they know, that person knows she will be declined for more credit.

I make a decent living, manage my finances well and consolidate my purchases to a single credit card that provides the most benefits for me. None of this is their business, they aren’t owed any explanations about my decision, and they should accept a “no.”

I have tried politely saying ”No, thank you,” and “No, but thank you for asking.” I’ve restated that I plan to use the card I first indicated. I’ve joked about how too much debt helped get us into a recession. I’ve responded rudely to the pushiest of clerks on occasion, knowing Miss Manners would never approve. However, they -- and the stores they work for -- remain undeterred, aggressive and insulting.

Any other suggestions, Miss Manners, for stopping these rude intruders?

GENTLE READER: Pushy salespeople (who are in turn being pushed by their employers) rely on the common misunderstanding that it is rude not to engage the person in front of you in conversation.

At a social gathering, this is true. At a department store checkout counter, with impatient shoppers standing behind you, it is not.

So long as they keep you talking, they believe -- as do you, apparently -- that you will eventually run out of excuses and accede to their demands.

Do not give up. Miss Manners does not have additional suggestions because none are needed. Even the pushiest clerk will grow discouraged after the third or fourth tight-lipped repetition of “Thank you. No.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I ask a friend over for a glass of wine and she always responds with “Please come for dinner at my house.” There are reasons I don’t want to have dinner there and I’m not sure how to tell her that I think it’s rude to turn the invitation around.

GENTLE READER: Curious as she is as to the reasons you do not wish to dine at your friend’s house, Miss Manners has a simple alternative to criticizing a friend’s manners: Turn the invitation back. This is particularly easy if other guests are involved: “That would be lovely sometime, but I’d already planned this.” Failing that, you will simply have to have plans after the offered drink that preclude another engagement.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A close friend was diagnosed with leukemia. As you can imagine, her family and close friends were devastated to hear the news.

Immediately, before even receiving the prognosis, her family set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for expenses while she was in the hospital. They raised approximately $10,000.

After receiving a text message from the family with a link to the GoFundMe page, which I don’t believe is appropriate, we nevertheless gave a very large donation and we were happy to do so.

It turns out that her husband didn’t miss any time from work and their health insurance has covered her medical expenses and treatments. Our friend is currently in remission and doing well. Within the last five months, they have taken three mini vacations, one of which included staying in a five-star hotel.

Although I am happy for them and I’m thankful they are able to celebrate life, I question if it is appropriate, given they just asked all of their family and friends for money. Personally, I feel if they didn’t need the money as they initially expected, perhaps they should save it in case she were to have a relapse. But I realize that isn’t for me to decide.

For the record, my family hasn’t taken any vacations within the last five months. While most of our friends are spending their tax returns on lavish vacations and expensive cars, my husband and I have saved our money over the years in case of such an emergency.

Am I wrong to be annoyed? I feel guilty, given her serious diagnosis. It should be noted this family has a history of being financially irresponsible.

GENTLE READER: It would be charitable to presume that these people panicked upon receiving the diagnosis, assuming that the illness would wipe out the family resources. But then, it was being charitable that put you (and, presumably, others) in the position of depriving yourself to fund these people’s luxurious trips.

As reluctant as Miss Manners is to discourage sympathy, she feels that she has to recommend caution in responding to cries for help. This is because of the appalling readiness many people now have to assume that others will help bear their expenses -- in other words, to go around begging as a first, rather than a last, resort.

She has to agree that you have been had. If, in fact, your friends had misjudged their situation, the honorable thing would have been to return their generous friends’ money.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is planning her wedding and was told that she should wear a white dress to the rehearsal dinner. Is this something new, or did I really mess up 35 years ago?

GENTLE READER: Was there a great deal of confusion, 35 years ago, about who was the bride? Miss Manners rather doubts it, even if you didn’t go to a related softball game in a T-shirt that proclaimed “BRIDE.”

Your daughter may wear whatever color she chooses to the rehearsal dinner. There is no such rule.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)