DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper etiquette to join a conversation already in progress?

For example, at a social gathering, a couple of people are already having a conversation. Is it OK to approach the group and say “hello,” or do I approach the group and wait for them to acknowledge me?

When someone approaches my group conversation, I always acknowledge the person right away and share the topic we are discussing. Most of the time, I approach a group and say “hello,” but is this considered interrupting? A few times, I have walked up to a conversation and stood there and was never acknowledged. Very awkward. Help ... I don’t want to be rude, but I love to talk too!

GENTLE READER: Inserting oneself into a conversation in progress, like cutting in for a dance, does have its own etiquette. The newcomer must wait for a lull in the conversation, acting in the interim as if what is being said is both interesting and, even without the preamble, intelligible.

The established group is required to assume the opposite, namely that the newcomer does not know what is being said, and is therefore entitled to a brief, explanatory aside. At the next natural break, introductions can be made all around. While a group holding a conversation in a social gathering should welcome newcomers, Miss Manners warns that such will not always be the case. It is therefore best to actually listen to what is being said, in case it is time to beat a hasty retreat.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is dancing to or parodying the national anthem disrespectful?

GENTLE READER: Yes. But isn’t that why you thought of it?

Miss Manners cannot often count on the public to enforce proper behavior, except when it concerns slights to themselves. And perhaps that is just as well. But this would certainly bring it on, and it is not likely to be gentle.

She would advise you to go no further with this idea, which is as unwise as it is unfunny.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother invited her family on a cruise, where we dined nightly in the main cabin. My 54-year-old sister’s manners were a nightmare. My mother was visibly embarrassed in front of her new husband.

I suggested to my sister to follow the level of formality and cues from our mother. She said I was being judgmental. How do you help someone understand that manners matter?

GENTLE READER: Without justifying your sister’s behavior, Miss Manners notes that 54 years is a long time to wait before attempting to correct a problem. At least your sister cannot accuse you of rushing to judgment.

Your mother will need to talk to her, admitting that she bears some responsibility for not speaking sooner. She must resist the temptation to justify her tardiness by blaming it on the newcomer (“your new stepfather was appalled”), as he was minding his own business.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When one writes to close friends/family, what are the possible letter endings? And in the case of teachers, which is a suitable letter ending?

Where would it be apt to use “Yours sincerely,” “Yours faithfully” and “Yours truly”? And to which kinds of recipients?

GENTLE READER: You and Miss Manners must be the only people left who use the conventional forms in letters. Others apparently suffer from the current Fear of Formality, believing that anything short of chumminess is snooty -- even in obviously formal situations. Or they may analyze the words and decide that they are not “yours” at all to the recipient, let alone sincerely, faithfully or truthfully.

Thus many letters now open with “Hi” instead of “Dear,” and end with “Best wishes,” “Best regards” or just “Best.” They could do better.

Miss Manners realizes that forms change over the years. She admits that “I remain, sir, your most humble, obedient servant” would not now pass either the truth test or the literal meaning test.

Still, she would like to retain some difference between addressing lovers, strangers and those in between. In formal correspondence, “Yours truly” is the closing for business letters. “Sincerely yours” is for social correspondence short of the love-and-kisses stage, or the more restrained “Fondly yours” or “Affectionately yours” for close friends and relatives.

Which would be suitable for a teacher depends on the content of the letter.

If you are writing to demand a change in your grade, it should be businesslike; if you are expressing gratitude for intellectual enlightenment, the more personal declaration of sincerity would be warranted.

But Miss Manners is not quite so rigid as to exclude a burst of enthusiasm, such as “Gratefully yours,” in the latter case. And those for whom “sincerely” and “truly” are not chummy enough should feel free to toss in a “very” with either one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When we were invited to a wedding reception for a co-worker and friend, the invitation made it clear that the event was a dinner reception at a local restaurant. In small print at the bottom, we were told we were expected to pay for our meal due to lack of finances.

We were a bit taken back by this, as the bride and groom had just recently returned from Disney World, but we attended and paid for our meals. A few months later, they had a baby shower, for which we provided food and a gift.

To my surprise, in the mail today we received a save the date for the couple’s wedding -- over a year after the first wedding reception.

How do we respond? I feel we already attended a wedding celebration, and have no reason to attend another. Other friends who’ve been invited are also confused as to how to respond, and feel like this couple is just seeking attention, money and gifts.

GENTLE READER: You think?

Miss Manners advises you to stop participating. She promises you that these people are not planning to stop asking.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I went out to brunch with a friend I have known for many years, we became a little intoxicated, and through the course of laughter, my friend said to me that I am much more fun when I’m drunk.

She isn’t the first person to say this to me, and this particular friend has said it a few times now. Another friend once said to me that the drunk version of me is more fun to hang out with.

I’m always unsure how to respond, because the implication, no matter how it’s worded, is that I’m not fun when I’m sober. I have a great sense of humor, and I use it often. Maybe I am sensitive, but I know I’m not an uptight person; I can be silly and cut loose, especially with my friends, even when sober.

How do I respond to this statement that I feel is more insulting than complimentary?

GENTLE READER: “Oh dear, what a bore I must be when I am sober. But as the alternative would be acquiring a drinking problem -- and neither of us wants that -- I am afraid you will have to continue to put up with me.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a longtime disciple of yours, I know to promptly mail a handwritten thank-you note upon receipt of a gift. Often, I find that I am in very routine communication with a gift-giver via text and email.

Upon receipt of a gift, is it necessary to acknowledge it right away via text or email, or should my first acknowledgment of the gift be via the formal, mailed thank-you note? If the former, how would I differentiate the two messages so that the formal thank-you note doesn’t exactly mirror what I’ve already texted?

If the latter, how should I handle a “Did you receive the gift?” text when the thank-you note is in the mail, but has obviously not yet been received by the gift-giver?

GENTLE READER: Writing a prompt thank-you letter is the first line of defense. And Miss Manners thanks you for doing so diligently.

If, however, you find yourself engaged with the giver before the message has been delivered, she suggests some version of, “I did receive your present and I love it. Thank you. A note is in the mail.” If pressed for particulars, try to generate a generous list of adjectives to describe it -- so that you do not repeat the ones that you have already used.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’d like to know if it’s rude to eavesdrop on one’s wife when she’s talking to herself.

GENTLE READER: It depends on what she says -- and whether or not you want to get caught. If you are worried that you will be reprimanded, you can always plead ignorance: “I am sorry, dear, but I thought you were talking to me.” This will either get you off the hook -- or force your wife to watch what she is saying aloud.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)