DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I went out to brunch with a friend I have known for many years, we became a little intoxicated, and through the course of laughter, my friend said to me that I am much more fun when I’m drunk.

She isn’t the first person to say this to me, and this particular friend has said it a few times now. Another friend once said to me that the drunk version of me is more fun to hang out with.

I’m always unsure how to respond, because the implication, no matter how it’s worded, is that I’m not fun when I’m sober. I have a great sense of humor, and I use it often. Maybe I am sensitive, but I know I’m not an uptight person; I can be silly and cut loose, especially with my friends, even when sober.

How do I respond to this statement that I feel is more insulting than complimentary?

GENTLE READER: “Oh dear, what a bore I must be when I am sober. But as the alternative would be acquiring a drinking problem -- and neither of us wants that -- I am afraid you will have to continue to put up with me.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a longtime disciple of yours, I know to promptly mail a handwritten thank-you note upon receipt of a gift. Often, I find that I am in very routine communication with a gift-giver via text and email.

Upon receipt of a gift, is it necessary to acknowledge it right away via text or email, or should my first acknowledgment of the gift be via the formal, mailed thank-you note? If the former, how would I differentiate the two messages so that the formal thank-you note doesn’t exactly mirror what I’ve already texted?

If the latter, how should I handle a “Did you receive the gift?” text when the thank-you note is in the mail, but has obviously not yet been received by the gift-giver?

GENTLE READER: Writing a prompt thank-you letter is the first line of defense. And Miss Manners thanks you for doing so diligently.

If, however, you find yourself engaged with the giver before the message has been delivered, she suggests some version of, “I did receive your present and I love it. Thank you. A note is in the mail.” If pressed for particulars, try to generate a generous list of adjectives to describe it -- so that you do not repeat the ones that you have already used.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’d like to know if it’s rude to eavesdrop on one’s wife when she’s talking to herself.

GENTLE READER: It depends on what she says -- and whether or not you want to get caught. If you are worried that you will be reprimanded, you can always plead ignorance: “I am sorry, dear, but I thought you were talking to me.” This will either get you off the hook -- or force your wife to watch what she is saying aloud.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A family hosts a banquet dinner for a large group of people on a certain athletic team. The host family provides drinks, appetizers, a couple of main courses and desserts for all.

Some guests bring food to share, but, for a variety of reasons, those dishes are barely tasted or left untouched altogether. The hostess wants to send that food back with the givers, but the host insists on keeping it.

His point is, “How would you feel if no one ate what you brought/prepared for the party? It would be so hurtful, almost insulting! As good hosts, we have to show gratefulness, praise the food others contributed, and keep it after the party, even though we’ll dispose of it all right away.”

Without offending anyone, the hostess simply wants to avoid wasting the food, and returning the offering with the giver seems reasonable to her. What would Miss Manners do, please?

GENTLE READER: As someone used to writing about herself in the third person, Miss Manners recognizes its stabilizing effect. But she is not convinced it will help you convince your husband of the error of his ways. She applauds you both for considering the feelings of your guests first. But as you have noticed, bringing a meal to the home of someone who went to some trouble to set an inviting table is not likely to be taken as a compliment. Graciously send the unsolicited food home with the guests who brought it -- before you find yourself washing their dishes and delivering back their food containers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a distant relative whom I have met only once, as children too young to remember the occurrence. Family is important to me, so as an adult, I began to write to her. She writes a few times a year, and sends the occasional photo of her grandchildren.

We seem to have little, if anything at all, in common, other than our common ancestor. I have made the effort to remember her “current events,” grandchildren’s ages and interests, etc., since these things are important to her.

However, she has not reciprocated. This has been the situation for nearly 10 years now. I have decided that I don’t wish to continue our correspondence, as it seems much like talking to a brick wall -- no response to my life events or follow-up conversation about hers.

What is the appropriate, and kindest, way to approach this? Shall I make a polite excuse about not wanting to stay in touch anymore, or is it perhaps better to simply stop, as one does in regard to exchanging holiday cards? I suspect she may feel as “relieved” to end our correspondence as I would be.

GENTLE READER: Breaking off future communications is a dramatic gesture usually reserved for people we want to shock into communicating more, or for pests who won’t stop communicating.

In neither case does it warm the hearer’s heart. Your relative, despite your efforts, remains merely distant. Miss Manners recommends a more neglectful approach.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I, like many others, am a person who prefers to keep her political opinions private. For this reason, I do not like to discuss politics in social situations.

Lately I’ve had quite a few encounters in which a person will say: “Not to get political ...” and then proceed to talk about politics. I will try to discreetly change the subject, but the person is often very determined to stay on the subject he or she brought up.

Normally I would end a political discussion by saying: “I’m sorry, but I really prefer not to discuss politics.” However, in this situation I feel uncomfortable doing that, as that seems to call out the person on his or her earlier assertion that he or she wasn’t going to talk about politics.

How do I politely let them know that I’m not comfortable with that topic of conversation?

GENTLE READER: “As you so wisely said, let’s not discuss politics.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend continues to tell others (her family and friends) about all of our personal conversations, even when we have agreed not to. I have caught her repeating our personal conversations to others, and often her family and friends tell me what she has said to them.

I have asked many times nicely and also have shared my frustration/anger. She continues to share our business to others. She tells me often she will try and do better, and she is trying to work on not talking so much. Yet this still continues daily, and history continues to repeat itself.

What would Miss Manners tell me that I should say to my best friend?

GENTLE READER: She can tell you what NOT to say to your best friend: anything that you do not want spread around.

Miss Manners understands that part of best-friendship is supposed to be the ability to share confidences. But this always involves risk. A friend could be careless, or feel that it was all right to pass things on in supposed confidence. The friendship could end, and the friend might no longer feel bound to respect the agreement.

In this case, however, indiscretion is not a risk but a certainty. You should have learned by now that nothing works to stop your friend from gossiping about you. So your only protection is to stop giving her the material to do so.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am hosting a couple’s wedding shower. I asked for an RSVP and have received two responses that read simply, ”RSVP for the shower for Helen and Bob.” There is no indication of declining or accepting.

I assume it is an acceptance. Is this proper?

GENTLE READER: It’s meaningless. They have replied, which is something, but what have they replied?

Miss Manners puts this confusion down to our silly persistence in using a French abbreviation, when a lot of people seem not to have been paying attention in French class. RSVP means “please respond.”

Or maybe they failed to grasp the fact that although “s’il vous plait” translates literally as “if you please,” that only indicates politeness; it does not mean “only if you happen to feel like it.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)