DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend and I usually talk three to four times a week or more, but she only ever calls me or answers the phone if she’s driving from work, driving on errands -- DRIVING anywhere, frankly -- or if she is walking her dog.
She never picks up the phone otherwise, especially after 6 p.m., unless she is outside driving somewhere. I text her that I called and it says that she read it, but she won’t call back.
I know everyone is busy, I know people have things to do, but I know (for sure) that all she does at home after 6 p.m. is watch TV and relax.
I don’t have a specific time limit when she calls me. If I’m at home, it doesn’t matter if it’s 11 p.m., I’ll pick up. It’s normal for people to talk if they are relaxing at home.
I feel stupid even feeling this way, but I just feel like it always has to be her way. I’m not sure if I should talk to her about it; I’m not good at confrontation. Am I dumb for thinking this isn’t fair or that it’s odd? Should I confront her about it? And if I confront her, what should I say?
GENTLE READER: With what, exactly, do you want to confront her? Confirmation that she does not find you relaxing?
Miss Manners feels certain that such a conversation would be far more discomforting than simply accepting the fact that your friend prefers certain times of day to talk on the telephone. If you object to her doing so while distracted with something else, then do not answer. Or ask if she can call you back at a better time. Or make arrangements to see her in person. Just probably not after 6 p.m.