DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been a physician for 40 years. When introducing myself in social/business situations, I introduce myself as Zachary Welch. I have been told I should introduce myself as Dr. Welch.

I feel this is somewhat pretentious. My brother does not introduce himself as Attorney Trevor Welch.

GENTLE READER: Over those 40 years, how many times have you hoped to enjoy a relaxing social evening, only to be asked to examine someone’s rash, to give advice about the condition of someone’s relative you haven’t seen, or to listen to a rant about other doctors or health costs?

Do your advisers assume that you want to encourage more of that sort of thing?

Miss Manners realizes that we live in times when people are constantly touting themselves, and the distinction between work and social life is all but obliterated. Yet you do not have to live like that.

The rule against using a title for oneself -- whether it is doctor, duke, Mr. or Mrs. -- when it is not a professional necessity has not been repealed. Should you not feel the need to brag or to drum up business when you are off duty, you should follow it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I invited nine people for dinner, and I furnished and prepared the meal. Several of the guests sent me some form of thank-you. Hooray! What is puzzling me is that the respondents thanked me for hosting the event. In my mind, “hosting” does not convey a reflection of my effort and expense. I could have “hosted” a potluck dinner. Am I just out of step on this phraseology?

GENTLE READER: In Miss Manners’ mind, “host” is not a verb, but we will let that pass.

Your guests were thanking you for your hospitality, which includes providing the food and the expense. (At a potluck dinner, the host’s functions are split among the guests, rather than belonging exclusively to the person in whose house it is held.) Miss Manners is sorry that you did not receive the ecstatic testimonials you were expecting, but they were not required.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 60-year-old husband of 38 years has been asked to be a groomsman -- one of seven -- for our 35-year-old part-time employee of 15 years. At what point during the reception will his responsibilities to the corresponding bridesmaid be fulfilled? I know I will want to spend some time with him on the dance floor.

GENTLE READER: Being a groomsman does not constitute being on a blind date with a bridesmaid. Miss Manners assures you that you will get him back.

Very likely, there will be such a person next to him during the recessional, and it is even possible that the wedding party may be asked to dance with one another once by way of encouraging general dancing. It would be gracious for him to mix a bit with the other guests, but it would be equally gracious for you to join him in doing so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-husband and I both remarried other partners, and he has children with his new wife. We all get along beautifully, spending vacations, holidays and other events together.

When introducing their children to my friends (or whomever), what “title” should I give them? The explanation that they are my ex-husband’s children just seems unfair because they are more than that to us. Any suggestions?

GENTLE READER: Use their names.

The idea that you have to define every relationship in all of its particulars is one that has always bewildered Miss Manners. It is no one’s business -- and usually only of true interest to the parties involved. How you treat your ex-husband’s children will presumably speak more to your relationship with them than any lengthy explanation. And it will become self-evident to the friends who are interested enough to find out.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If you are alphabetizing a list of names and you have partners or spouses with different last names, who goes first -- the woman or the man? Should it be Susan Smith and Darwood Allen, or Darwood Allen and Susan Smith?

GENTLE READER: Not wishing to engage in a battle of the sexes, Miss Manners will decree that whoever’s last name comes first in the alphabet takes precedence. That way, if you have any further quibbles about who comes first, you may take it up with the English language and not her.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a board meeting, my boss, who knew I was disappointed at not getting a recent promotion, stood up and asked everyone to applaud me for my many years of service to the company. He went on to say, “She ran her department with an iron fist.”

I murmured “thank you” and accepted his handshake.

Miss Manners, I assure you this characterization is completely inaccurate. I am widely respected for my efficiency, my effectiveness and my collegial style. Many of my co-workers were surprised and disappointed that I did not receive the promotion, because they respect me and LIKE working with me!

I know this was his awkward attempt at reconciliation, but should I say anything to him about his inappropriate choice of words?

GENTLE READER: As you have surmised, in all likelihood, your boss misguidedly thought that he was giving you a compliment. If you want to redirect this unfair assessment -- and perhaps find out more about why you were not promoted in the process -- you may ask your boss if there is anything that you can do to improve your performance in general.

Avoid directly speaking of the passed-over promotion -- letting it hang in the air -- but ask if he has concerns that you have been too tough on your employees, as perhaps indicated by his “kind acknowledgment.” Miss Manners realizes that you may have to choke out those last two words, but is hoping that the reward will be your boss’s realization that he himself should have picked better ones.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When do you stop being “divorced” and start being “single”?

GENTLE READER: Divorced people are also, by definition, single, as no remarried lady since Hamlet’s mother invented the paperless divorce has wondered if she was “married” or still “divorced.”

After decades in which people fought to reduce the nosiness of motor vehicle departments, employers and bores, their descendants are only too eager to label themselves with alarming specificity to anyone who will listen. Miss Manners attributes this to social media platforms that began, innocently enough, with the idea that one’s “status” should be as granular as “available,” “busy,” “away,” “at lunch” and so on -- when she would have thought that “listening” and “not” covered all relevant possibilities.

Modern sensitivities notwithstanding, Miss Manners is willing to leave the choice between “divorced” and “single” up to the individual, so long as formerly married persons can agree not to use the latter until the former has been legalized.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The company I work for is privately owned by one family and has a few different companies under the same umbrella, with each company headed by a different member of the family. Some of the companies are housed together, while others are on different floors in the same building or in a building next door.

The result is that I do not know many of the people who work for the parent company. I have noticed that the human resources lady will send an email to the entire company announcing life events of various members of the family, i.e., births, marriages, etc. I do not always know the person the event pertains to.

What is the correct response, if any, to this type of mass email? Other people respond to the email expressing their best wishes, but I feel it would insincere to do so myself if I do not know the person.

I also find it kind of rude that only the family members are acknowledged in this way. There have been many other such events in the lives of various employees, which are not given the same consideration. Would like to know your thoughts.

GENTLE READER: If you are confused now as to how to respond to announcements about people you do not know, what is your plan when human resources follows your advice and starts posting everyone’s personal affairs?

The problem is not, to Miss Manners’ thinking, too little intimacy, but too much. While there are bosses who delight in fawning employees, most do not. In the latter case, the long-term solution is to approach a sympathetic family member to explain that such unthinking behavior by the human resources department is actually bad for company morale: other people’s, of course, not your own -- those souls who wonder how they are supposed to celebrate such occasions.

But whatever the feelings of your employers, etiquette does not require any response to mass-mailed announcements about people you do not know.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)