DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a single father. My daughter is adopted, so I knew what I was getting into.

Way back in the beginning of this journey, her godmother warned me that because I am single, there would be many, mostly women, who would insist on giving me parenting advice. For the most part I have followed her suggestion to ignore them.

This last summer, some teachers at her program cornered me to advise what type of swimming suit she should be wearing. We had painfully shopped for her suit and settled on one that would offer the most convenience and modesty. These women felt that she should be wearing a one-piece instead of the three-piece we chose.

When I offered that the three-piece, basically a bikini type with a full cover-up allowing only a small portion of skin on her back to show, was chosen because it was easier for her to use the restroom, etc., I was told that a one-piece was more appropriate.

Miss Manners, I was stunned, appalled and then infuriated, because this suit is perfectly modest and actually covers more than a one-piece would cover. I ended the confrontation with "Thank you, I will take it on advisement."

What should I have done? And should I send her swimming next time with the suit, or am I obliged to purchase another because they "offered" their advice? The suit meets pool regulations, it is modest, and Grandma approved.

GENTLE READER: There are two issues at play here: the unwarranted advice of smug parents who think that they know better and have better taste than you -- or any single father -- and the wardrobe regulations of teachers stating what is recommended (or required) at their facilities.

Miss Manners fears that the directive given on this occasion falls somewhere between the two. Nevertheless, as these teachers seem to have something to do with the pool that your daughter attended, it might behoove you to follow their advice, impractical and unwelcome as it may be, and save the three-piece for other outings. But you are justified in politely ignoring unsolicited advice from those who do not have your daughter directly in their care.

As a side note, Miss Manners commends you on "knowing what you were getting into" when you adopted your daughter. She knows hardly any other parent, adoptive or not, who can claim the same.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A woman at church continues to approach me about a beauty/health product she sells. I feel very uncomfortable when I see her coming to "greet" me because I know where the greeting will lead. She insists that I give her a date for her to share her product(s) ... because "it will make your skin appear as it did when you were much younger."

I told her that I'm satisfied with my current products, but she insists that her products are much better. How can I make this woman leave me alone? I've seen her cornering other folks at church too!

GENTLE READER: "I am so sorry, but I am here to attend church and socialize, not to engage in business transactions, however wonderful your products may be." And see if the church will display a "No Soliciting" sign -- which Miss Manners recommends that you stand conveniently near.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When an eyewitness is interviewed on television or radio news accounts, invariably the news anchor will finish the conversation with a "Thank you."

I realize that the appropriate response should be "You're welcome," but when the story is tragic in nature, that seem inappropriate somehow, almost undercutting the seriousness of the situation.

Usually the witness (or field reporter) mumbles something inarticulate or simply nods his head. In other languages, saying "At your service" works well, but in English it comes off as far too formal. A few try "Of course," but that seems almost rude.

Is there some better way of responding, something that doesn't jar, that recognizes the anchor's thanks without trivializing the incident?

GENTLE READER: Even so-called guests on the air --experts there to give their analyses or opinions -- find this awkward, because one wants to give the usual response to "Thank you." Yet their "Thank you for having me" wouldn't do at all under the circumstances you describe.

Witnesses to tragedy are more like temporary news correspondents, although they could hardly adopt the response of "Now back to you." They can be said to be doing their duty to report what they know, and Miss Manners sees nothing rude about their responding with "Of course" or "Certainly," or even a simple serious nod.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Granted, I have a large collection of friends, acquaintances and admirers. Therefore, I am often invited to dinner parties, gallery openings, etc.

I enjoy being social. And I really enjoy being alone and reading -- my favorite pastime.

Often, when I refuse an invitation, the inviter will ask what I will be doing instead. Well, this Thanksgiving I have been invited to three homes, but I am interested in staying home and making a meal for myself. As a single person, I have been going to people's homes for holiday meals for decades; it is no longer interesting.

Upon being told that I was not coming to their home for Thanksgiving, all three were highly insulted that I wanted to be alone rather than with them. In other words, why would one want to be alone when we are here to be enjoyed? Should I have lied?

GENTLE READER: No, but you needn't have explained that you prefer no company to theirs. Are you surprised that they were insulted?

Of course, would-be hosts have no business probing for your plans, which is not only rude but also dangerous. Still, they were trying to be hospitable, and they are, as you say, your friends, acquaintances and admirers.

Miss Manners recommends your saying, "You are so kind to think of me, but I have my own little holiday rituals. Let's get together another time." And she would hope they would leave it at that and not make you respond coyly to further questioning with, "Well, if I told you, they wouldn't be private."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would it be impolite to bring a favorite condiment to a dinner gathering, knowing that the hosts do not have that particular one?

GENTLE READER: Only if you want to make it clear that you consider their offerings to be lacking taste.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

After 10 minutes of guessing among ambiguous voicemail menu choices, a caller is connected with someone who cannot solve his problem -- and who insists on putting him back into voicemail. Neither of them knows that the computer is systematically (and unfeelingly) routing people with billing questions to Children's Clothing.

A customer who gets to the front of the checkout line and finds the clerk on the phone is angry that he is not being served. She is unaware that the clerk is required to do double duty answering the company telephone.

An airline passenger who asks a question of the person behind the desk at the gate is annoyed to be told that he will have to wait for a different employee who might know the answer. He has not realized that the person at the computer is a pilot, not a gate agent.

The employees are just as frustrated as the customers:

"If this guy wanted a giraffe onesie for his daughter, I could help him. But why is he yelling at me about a billing problem?"

"I'm wearing a company headset and answered the phone by saying, 'Enormous Corporate Chain, how may I help you?' Isn't it obvious that I am waiting on another customer, not chatting with my boyfriend?"

"I'm a pilot with 20 years of experience, and I'm wearing my hat. I'm using this computer to get a flight plan so I can fly this passenger quickly and safely to his next destination. Why does he expect me to know how many points he needs to qualify for Agate Geode Status?"

Who was at fault? Everyone.

Someone not present at the eventual blowup has created a situation in which misunderstanding is certain to occur. The checkout person, the sales clerk and the pilot have been made to look rude by a badly programmed voicemail system, an unfortunate assignment of duties and the placement of a computer.

So the customer has taken offense and turned aggressive. And the employee has responded in kind.

They have Miss Manners' sympathy, if not her approbation. But as everyone has misbehaved, everyone can help Miss Manners clean up the mess.

Corporate America -- and any consultants paid to think for it -- needs to finish what it starts. After what feels like a lifetime on computer support, Miss Manners understands what happens when a technician "fixes" a computer problem, but fails to verify the result. People designing airports, programming voicemail systems and making duty assignments need to think through how these will be used.

The same is true of everyone else involved in decisions that will affect what we now call "the customer experience."

The employee needs to remember that he or she represents the company, for good or ill. It is necessary to be prepared for the possibility that the customer has already had reason to be frustrated, and to be able to defuse the situation with an apology and a solution.

"My apologies, you were routed to the wrong department, but I can get you to the correct one. And let me give you the direct extension for that department in case voicemail fails again."

"Forgive me, I have a telephone customer, but you are next."

"I'm sorry, but I'm the pilot and am not trained in gate operations. This station will open 30 minutes before your flight, when someone will be able to help you."

The customer must accept the apology gracefully, if not, perhaps, gratefully, and employee and customer should both consider contacting corporate headquarters to give them a chance to correct the original mistake.

Meanwhile, Miss Manners will attempt to decipher the corporate website, which is forcing her to choose among "Plan My Visit," "Enhance My Experience," "What's Happening," "Information" and "Help." She doubts that any choice will live up to its title.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)