DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it professional to call a colleague a nickname such as "Little Redhead"? Someone who is in some ways above you in the chain of command?

GENTLE READER: Outside of the Mafia -- and even then, likely only in movies -- Miss Manners is not aware of any profession in which conferring nicknames ("Nicky the Squid") is considered professional behavior.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Almost every week, my phone gets at least one text message identified solely by the other party's phone number, with few clues as to the sender's identity, saying something like, "When do you want to meet?" What's the politest way to reply, "First, who IS this, please?"

GENTLE READER: "Who is this, please?" (with "is" lowercase) should be sufficient as, depending on the answer, Miss Manners suspects that there may not be a "second."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend/acquaintance who has a problem with self-esteem and is constantly trying to impress. When a group of us go out to eat, she says, "I will do the prime rib" or whatever it may be.

The rest of us just say we will have the prime rib.

I know this isn't a big deal, but it really grates on my nerves. Should I say anything or just bite my tongue?

GENTLE READER: Bite your tongue. Miss Manners finds your interpretation of your friend/acquaintance's wording even odder than the wording itself.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a woman who enjoys woodworking. Every time that I buy plywood from a local home store, the employees are kind enough to cut it to rough size for me, so that I can get it into my car and maneuver the lighter pieces.

When they cut the plywood, I plug my fingers because the sound of the saw hurts my ears. (I wear earmuffs when I use my saw at home.) My problem is that the employees do NOT wear their earmuffs when they make the cuts. The safety gear is hanging right there, on a hook, unused.

How do I say, "Please wear your earmuffs!" (I was born half-deaf, and I hate wearing hearing aids. I say, "What?" a million times a day.) Watching others deliberately endanger their hearing is heartrending to me. I don't know if I should speak up, what to say, to whom to say it, etc.

GENTLE READER: One of the blessings of modern safety regulations is that they reduce the opportunities for employers to abuse employees. The other blessing is that it makes the employer fearful of the consequences when employees -- even careless ones -- do get hurt. Miss Manners suggests you raise the issue with the store owner, relating your own experience with hearing loss.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A relative of mine often disses my family, particularly my siblings. I enjoy her company, but I'm put off by her negative remarks. They are thrown in unexpectedly, and I don't know how to respond discreetly. How can I handle this comfortably?

GENTLE READER: It should add to your comfort, Miss Manners would think, to repeat, "I will not listen to anything against my siblings." The discomfort of your bad-mouthing relative may prove to be useful. If not, at least you will be spared hearing the remarks.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was excluded from an event put together by someone I consider a very good friend. I only found out about the event by all the photos on Facebook. I am obviously very hurt by this.

What would your advice be on handling my feelings? Should I ask the hostess why she decided to exclude me?

GENTLE READER: Why? Do you want to hear the answer?

However, please allow Miss Manners to contest the premise of your question. You were not, in fact, excluded from this event; you were simply not invited. People are not required to invite all of their friends on every occasion.

Social media postings have unfortunately blasted the rule that one does not mention such events, either before or after they take place, to those who were not invited. Miss Manners wishes she could persuade hosts and guests to refrain from doing so, but she is not optimistic.

Nevertheless, you will spare yourself a lot of anguish if you simply accept that you will not always be invited to everything.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During my student days, I was always reading -- at home, in restaurants, on the subway. Even on the sidewalk.

This habit ended abruptly one day when I walked into a lamppost and apologized to it before I realized what I had run into.

GENTLE READER: Allow Miss Manners to assure you that technically, banging into a lamppost is not an etiquette violation, as you did not offend another person. Indeed, you serve as a lesson to those who multi-task, for which Miss Manners thanks you. Perhaps that will make up for the presumed lack of response on the part of your victim.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-husband, his girlfriend and I recently hosted an engagement party for our daughter and her fiancee at his home. The party was lovely, and the couple thanked everyone repeatedly during and after the evening.

My daughter tells me that her father has hinted that she was rude for not bringing a hostess gift. He has recently moved into a beautiful home that is stuffed to the rafters. They have everything they could possibly want or need, and yes, I know that's not the point of a hostess gift.

I feel that when one throws an engagement party for one's children, no hostess gift is required. Will she be expected to give us a gift after her wedding reception, too?

Please help me defuse this situation, or enlighten me so that I may apologize for my own poor manners. (I didn't bring a gift either.)

GENTLE READER: Is it your ex-husband's intention to give your daughter lessons in greed and extortion in connection with her nuptials?

Miss Manners does not seem to be able to get it across to people that asking for presents is always rude, greedy and nasty. It doesn't matter what the occasion is, or how customary it is for presents to be given.

Certainly, your daughter owes her father and the hostess thanks for throwing the party. She does not owe him payment, either in money or in goods. And while an additional appreciative gesture -- such as flowers sent before the event -- is charming, it is hardly necessary when the host is a member of the family being honored.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in one of three or four communal stalls in the ladies' room of a restaurant, just finishing up, when another person walked into the stall next to me, closed the door, and then began to both sob and urinate audibly.

What is the appropriate response in such a situation?

I am one who would become more upset in the face of sympathy from a stranger, so I kept silent and waited for the aggrieved party to finish both her micturition and her audible sorrow. But perhaps this was inappropriate.

GENTLE READER: Forgive Miss Manners -- she knows that the answer you are seeking is in regards to the crying, but she can't get past what you might think the response to someone audibly urinating might be. ("Could you tone it down? Some of us are trying to concentrate.")

In any case, you should ignore both. If the stranger's ... ahem ... noise escalates, you can certainly ask if she needs assistance, and if you feel unable to provide it, send for an employee -- or doctor -- instead.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I don't wish to have biological children, and we are not currently interested in discussing adoption.

A few months ago, he started a job that pays much more than his previous one. We are financially comfortable (not wealthy) enough that he suggested my quitting my previous job, which I hated and was underpaid for. I now have time to volunteer at an animal shelter, do shopping and errands for an elderly relative, take two classes at a community college, as well as care for our home.

Lately, when I see people we know, they often want me to explain what I "do all day" since we have no children and I am not working outside the home. This is usually followed by questions about how much time and effort each activity involves, as if I need to prove that I am not lying on a couch and watching television.

A couple of people have also asked me to baby-sit after I previously made plans with relatives or friends, assuming that I cannot possibly be busy with anything important. They expect me to be able to cancel my plans, since whatever I am doing is not a job and I am not a mother.

What is the best way to tell people that I do not think my schedule is their business?

GENTLE READER: While you have legitimate gripes about the people who are asking what you do all day, Miss Manners detects in your tone a pre-emptive fatigue. You do not need to volunteer any unnecessary information, nor justify any appointments you made. If friends are actually asking you to cancel plans, then you may say, "I'm sorry, but my schedule is confirmed." However, be careful that you do not project your frustrations on those innocently asking about your availability.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)