DEAR MISS MANNERS: Pregnant women nowadays appear to want everyone to know they are pregnant, and how far along they are, by wearing tight knit tops. Not only are their stomachs huge, but their belly buttons are pooched out.

I find this disgusting. I'm in my early 60s -- am I too old-fashioned? I miss the days when women wore loose "maternity blouses." One knew that the woman was pregnant, but we didn't have to be reminded of what was going on under the maternity blouse.

GENTLE READER: What Miss Manners misses are the days when no one would have thought of staring a lady -- pregnant or not -- in the belly button. She does not miss the days when pregnant ladies were expected to dress as if they were wearing the nursery curtains.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a vacation in Paris, I stayed at a lovely furnished apartment. In the kitchen with all of the silverware was a set of round, perfectly flat "spoons" about the size of a teaspoon. There was a set of eight along with all of the other forks and spoons.

Although I have looked on the Internet, I cannot find these spoons and what they would be used for. Can you provide any insight as to their purpose?

GENTLE READER: But yes, as we say in France.

During your stay in Paris, Miss Manners supposes that you also noticed that the French are proud of their cuisine. Those flat spoons were the 20th-century invention of a French chef who didn't want anyone to miss a drop of his superb sauce.

The sauce spoon is rarely seen in America, where some feel that a crust of bread will do just as well, and others have mastered the quick flick with the side of a fork. If you acquired such spoons, you will find that you amaze, and possibly delight, your guests.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Members of my husband's family greet me, in person and on the phone, by saying, "What are you doing?" rather than the more traditional, "Hello. How are you?"

Am I wrong in finding their greeting to be rude? It is quite awkward to walk into a social gathering and have someone ask what I'm doing (clearly, I am attending the same event that they are), or to pick up the phone and have someone demand to know what I am doing right that second.

Is it rude of me to ignore their specific question and respond, "I am well, thanks, how are you?"

GENTLE READER: That you do not reply, "I'm answering the telephone," or the equivalent for direct encounters, takes remarkable restraint.

However, your in-laws could point out that "How are you?" could also be construed as an intrusive question.

But Miss Manners agrees with you that there is a difference. Aside from the literal-minded folks who complain that those who ask show no interest in the health problems that are described in reply, most people understand that the inquiry is a mere convention, requiring no more than the perfunctory response you offer. If you want to respond to that, rather than with an almost equally perfunctory "Oh, nothing much," Miss Manners has no objection.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When two dear friends of mine were married, I did not receive an invitation. I assumed (correctly) that they were having a small, intimate wedding. I was in no way offended; quite the contrary, I was very happy for them.

After their ceremony, they posted photos on Facebook to share their good tidings. It was clear that the wedding party was very small, the only others present besides the couple being their pastor; the judge, who is also a friend of theirs; the wedding singer, also an old friend; and three relatives who were the adult children of each of them, and one offspring's spouse.

I was therefore appalled that on one of the photos, not one but two people had remarked, "Gee, I didn't get an invitation."

Really? The couple gracefully apologized to these rude individuals and explained kindly the makeup of the wedding party and their reasons, even though they did not have to.

I could not imagine that anyone would have the gall to complain, or to make any comment whatsoever on being invited or not to a wedding! And on Facebook, broadcasting one's rudeness to all -- how tacky.

Am I being overly sensitive to this? Could the individuals have been joking? I don't know them, so perhaps they were just trying to be funny.

GENTLE READER: If everyone would just cease broadcasting their business full stop, Miss Manners would have a lot more time to enjoy her tea with actual friends instead of hearing about the rest of the world's virtual ones.

While it was gracious of you not to be offended, there is a rule against discussing parties with people who are or were not invited.

If the wedding couple had merely supplemented their announcement with a wedding portrait, those comments would be unwarranted (and unfunny). They are still rude even if written in reaction to festive pictures of the occasion, but the couple in some part brought it on themselves.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My future mother-in-law sends thoughtful gifts to my boyfriend and me for most occasions -- birthdays, holidays, even Valentine's Day. The cards accompanying these gifts are always signed (by her) with both her and her husband's names.

I know that her husband is oblivious to these tokens and doesn't do gifts. In my thank-you notes, I have always addressed both of them, even though I know that he didn't contribute or care at all. Should I continue addressing both parties?

GENTLE READER: Surely you do not want to challenge your future in-laws about who is paying for what and expressing which sentiments.

While Miss Manners has long maintained that two people cannot write a letter (your mother-in-law could have written, "Herbert joins me in wishing you a Happy Arbor Day"), the reverse is not also true -- you can address one to multiple people. So thanking both of your future in-laws is not only generous and good protocol; it is also correct.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a regular subway rider, I usually take the elevator rather than the escalators, as it is closer to where I need to be. I always let disabled people, elderly people and people with small children board before me if they wish, but most of the time they decline.

The other night I had a situation that enraged me. We were all waiting in line for the elevator, about 10 people deep, when a 20-something man came to the front of the line, stood in front of me, and proceeded to board the elevator before all of us. No words, nothing. He was so brazen!

He was given multiple nasty looks, but did not seem fazed, and I really wanted to say something but was not sure what to say.

Several people who had been waiting in line did not make it into this trip on the elevator because of his line jumping. It's the men in this age group who hog the seats while the elderly and pregnant stand, push old ladies out of the way, etc., and it's the men in their 60s who get up. What should I have done?

GENTLE READER: "Excuse me, but there is a line for this elevator."

Your goal is properly to change the young man's behavior, not to express your outrage, always a risky and scene-provoking move. Miss Manners recommends that you accompany it with a neutral air, as if the transgression was from absent-mindedness rather than an indictment of his age, compassion and intelligence.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work as a teacher in a non-public high school. Three or four times each semester, during the regular work week, we are required to attend in-services that occupy the whole day (the students have a holiday).

On these occasions, we are given breakfast and lunch at the school's expense. This is not, I assume, an obligation on the school's part, since providing one's own meals is usually an employee's responsibility.

How often should I properly acknowledge my employer's generosity? Should I write a note of thanks for each one, at the end of each semester or at the end of the academic year?

In addition, we have several prayer breakfasts during the school year at which attendance is expected -- during regular school hours one morning a week when we are expected to be on campus and working. Does required attendance in this case also mandate an expression of thanks?

GENTLE READER: One properly expresses thanks for a present, raising the question of which work amenities rise to that level.

While Miss Manners may be grateful for free food, she does not consider such offerings a gift when given in recognition that an employee is working through what would otherwise be a meal. The same exemption applies to food supplied to ease the burden of long hours or late nights in the office.

But if there is no positive requirement that thanks be offered in such cases, an occasional expression of appreciation -- for the policy, not for each meal -- is gracious and may be useful if the school board suggests abandoning it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)