DEAR MISS MANNERS: People pressed for time in the morning do all manner of things in their cars on the way to work: They eat breakfast, pluck their eyebrows, floss and apply makeup. While visible to their fellow commuters, they seem to think themselves in an isolation field.

I, on the other hand, walk to work, and not unlike the commuters above, I like to make productive use of the 15 minutes by shaving with an electric razor as I go. My wife tells me this is totally socially unacceptable. It seems, oddly, to be an issue one does not find addressed in etiquette references. What's the buzz?

GENTLE READER: Other than the one coming from your electric razor? (Miss Manners feels sure that you intended to set her up for this punch line and is ashamed of herself for taking the bait. She is further under the impression that you are being cheeky with the question, but will nevertheless attempt to take it seriously.)

Although dangerous, sometimes unlawful and always unsavory, grooming in a moving vehicle is not necessarily a breach of etiquette. There is an illusion of privacy when one is behind closed doors, even if there are glass windows that shatter it. After all, inadvisable as it may be, people do personal things in their homes behind open shades all the time.

Walking down the street, however, is completely public, and shaving is therefore not permitted there. Further, having been in the path of many a pedestrian distracted by a cellular device, Miss Manners shudders at the consequences of being in that of an oncoming shaver.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am throwing a camping party for up to 18 of my close friends (all between 20-30 years old) packed into three campsites. When a friend who has a 2-year-old accepted my invitation, I told her I'd be happy to get an additional campsite for her family, as the larger rowdy group wouldn't be very kid-friendly. I anticipate a lot of late nights and sleeping in until way past sunrise.

She got so mad at me she's not even coming anymore!

I really thought I was trying my best to accommodate a baby at an event that is certainly not kid-friendly. Was there another way I should have handled it? Or is it OK to hold my ground and not force my other friends to share a site with only three or four tents, packed in with a cranky toddler?

GENTLE READER: Are you absolutely certain that your friend intended to bring the presumably cranky toddler? Or was her acceptance of your invitation immediately met with your offer to banish her to another campsite, away from all social activity?

Even if it was clear that the whole family planned to attend, Miss Manners suspects that it was the implication that no one would want to be within three camps of her that offended your friend.

Perhaps two years of dirty looks and assumptions of noise and bad behavior as she has attempted to go about her life with the socially inconvenient addition of a toddler triggered her reaction. You could have discussed the problem from the angle of not wanting a boisterous crowd to upset an innocent child who would not be able to get much sleep.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Now that same-sex marriage has been declared legal in my state, my son and his fiance are planning their wedding. They have chosen black and white as their colors. Is it appropriate to request that their guests also dress in black and white?

GENTLE READER: It has always been appropriate for gentlemen, whether bridegrooms or guests, to wear black and white at a wedding. Miss Manners reminds you, however, that it has never been appropriate to attempt dictating color schemes to the ladies.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Sometimes I see patrons in a store or restaurant peer at the service employee's name tag and say something like, "Hello there ... Tiffany ... how are you today?" It always comes out with this forced conviviality, as if to say, "Look, everyone! I'm a good, egalitarian person treating the lowly server as a person. Isn't that great of me?"

I think it actually says, "You have such a menial job that you're forced to wear a stupid name tag, so I know your name and feel free to use it even though I don't know you -- but you don't know my name because I'm a higher-class person and get to dress the way I want."

I think name tags are just so you know whom to refer to if needed, as in, "I think Tiffany is our server. Could you ask her to bring the check?"

Am I right to see this as presumptuous behavior?

GENTLE READER: The presumption in the greeting you mention is not in using Tiffany's name, but in asking the waitress how she is "doing," a question about her mood or life that is not relevant to the business at hand.

Miss Manners has no objection to using a form of address that has been supplied by the addressee, even if, in this case, it may technically have been Tiffany's boss who chose the form. She does wish the form supplied was more formal, as she agrees with you that first names in this context are an invitation to mistreatment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are having a cupcake tree instead of serving sliced wedding cake at our wedding, which will be held at our church, with all of the church members and their families invited.

A couple hundred cupcakes are about as expensive as the typical wedding cake, and are ordered with the number of attenders in mind, but there is typically no server and guests can take one when they desire.

On a typical Sunday after church, there are snacks served after the service. We have a group of children who are often unmonitored at this time who think nothing of swarming the snack table the minute the dish of cookies, coffee cake, etc., is set out. They grab multiples of the snack -- often as many as they can carry, and many times come back for more, regardless of whether everyone else has had a chance to have some.

This is usually accepted and nothing is expressed openly against it, although occasionally I will hear an adult mumble unhappily about there being nothing left for the adults by the time they reach the table.

I would like to prevent this happening at my wedding. Is it acceptable to put a small sign in front of the cupcake tree asking guests to please take one? If not, how should I handle this with grace?

GENTLE READER: It would have to be an impressive sign to separate even reasonably well-behaved children from unattended sweets, particularly when there is a contrary tradition.

Miss Manners advises a more active intervention, in this case a caterer or family member who is willing to slip out before the service is concluded to gently advise the children that this time, we will be waiting for the adults to go first. Or just place the tree on a high table, out of the children's reach.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would appreciate some suggestions as to how a guest should express to a host her desire to leave a small dinner party at which she's had a very nice time -- but it's getting late, and she'd like to go home!

We were still seated at the table at 11 p.m. after a dinner for six people that started at 7. The delicious meal and dessert were long gone, as were the coffee and tea.

One of the guests was droning on and on. I took the opportunity, when he finally took a breath, to say (very pleasantly, I thought), that this had been a wonderful party and the food was delicious, as a prelude to saying that I regretted that we really must get going.

But before I could complete the thought, the droner recovered his breath. I knew the hosts well, but had just met Mr. Droner, and that made it difficult for me to interrupt him.

Was I remiss in thinking that someone else at the table (perhaps my husband!) would catch my drift and support my efforts?

In any event, the droner went on for another half-hour before I could get another word in edgewise. At that point, I spoke very quickly (fearing his interruption) and said something to the effect that it's been lovely, but it was getting late and we really had to leave. However, from the expressions on the faces of droner and wife, I was left feeling that I was out of line.

I look forward to some leaving-the-party tips.

GENTLE READER: One would be to socialize with hosts who know that after-dinner coffee is properly served in the living room, thus getting everyone up from the table and halfway to the door, while preventing a difficult exodus from the dining table.

Another is to train your husband to stand up when you thank your hosts.

But you also need a firmer tone of voice. Miss Manners recommends that you practice saying, "Excuse me! I don't want to break up this delightful evening, but I'm afraid we really must go."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My father recently passed away, and it's been a real eye-opener as to how my friends and family have dealt with the loss when communicating with me. One of my good friends sent a condolence sticky note that said "Sorry for your loss" attached to a piece of mail she forwarded to me.

I'm aware that people deal with loss in their own ways, and perhaps my father's passing was hitting too close to home and she doesn't know how to deal with it. But this really upset me.

I did not expect a card or flowers, not at all. I just did not expect my father's life and death summed up on a generic yellow sticky note. Is this actually appropriate? I don't know how to reply.

GENTLE READER: Fortunately, a sticky note does not require any response. Nor does callous behavior require the target to offer a psychological excuse.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)