DEAR MISS MANNERS: When giving gift cards, should you remove the card from the packaging?

I have removed the tab that shows the amount, but the packaging has information related to expiration, etc.

GENTLE READER: Are you seriously proposing sending someone out shopping without knowing how much money there is to spend?

Miss Manners appreciates the gentility of concealing the price of a present from the recipient. That is why she discourages paying people, rather than taking the trouble to select something that might be appreciated.

But do not harbor the illusion that you have laundered the money by putting it into a gift card. You have merely restricted its use. And please do not set someone up to get to the checkout counter, only to be told that it is not enough for the purchase, or even that it is too much, but the remaining amount must be supplemented in order to make an additional purchase.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have some old friends who have recently retired and love to travel. Once a year they travel to our state and visit with their friends who live here. They send an email a week or two before their trip informing us when they will be in our area and ask to stay with us.

We are happy to have them stay in our home, but we are not retired. When they arrive, they plop themselves down and ask what we are going to do. We then scramble to be good hosts and escort them to local restaurants and sites of interest, fitting ourselves into their schedule on relatively short notice.

We would have no problem with their using our home as a hotel and enjoying some time with them if we were home at the same time, but it is taxing to be expected to provide vacation activities when we are not on vacation!

They repeat this pattern throughout our state, and when they arrive home, they send a blanket email to all of the people with whom they have stayed, offering their blanket thanks.

We never hear from them except when they are traveling our way or involved in fundraising for a charity they have adopted, and we are feeling ill-used. Are we too sensitive?

GENTLE READER: Or not sensitive enough. Why you are happy to have inconsiderate people use your house as a hotel baffles Miss Manners. But as you are, perhaps you should avail yourselves of the protections employed by hotels.

One would be to remain closed out of season. In your case, that would refer to your non-vacation periods, when you can say, "We're so sorry, but this is not a good time for us," adding, if you wish, that you would love to see them at a specified time that would be convenient for you.

Another would be to offer sightseeing and restaurant advice, as a good hotel clerk or concierge would do, while making it clear that you do not offer escorted tours. "You might enjoy this," you could say with your recommendations. "We're off to work, but have a good time, and let us know how it goes."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have naturally red cheeks, often referred to as rosacea. I also tend to blush easily. I am at a loss for an appropriate response when friends and acquaintances ask, "Why is your face so red?"

GENTLE READER: Try looking down at the ground and saying, "You're embarrassing me."

Notice that you will not necessarily have claimed to be blushing if you are not. You could say this in response to any nosy question. But it is a particularly apt way of dealing with this particular unfortunate remark.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am left-handed and want to ask about seating arrangements. I have two problems.

First, I am a student, so perhaps you can answer this for people in college. In a seminar class, we use the small desks with tops that attach to the right side of the chair. There are usually a few "left-handed" desks like this with the writing surface on the opposite side.

However, in my last class, I realized I'd taken the only such desk because I'd arrived early. Is it proper for me to stay in that seat, or offer to alternate seats with the other left-handed students on different class days, since it's difficult to take notes when the writing surface is on the "wrong" side?

Alternately, since there are no people with disabilities in the class, would it be wrong for one of us to take the classroom's one table designated for that use until (and if) the classroom gets more left-handed desks?

Second, if I am at a meal with people, I try my best not to bump into others when eating. However, it is difficult when seated next to a right-handed person, especially when space is tight, and I am clumsy.

Is it all right for me to request, if possible, that I be seated on the left end of the table or some other seat that will not lead to bumping elbows? I have excellent manners otherwise, and these situations are embarrassing.

GENTLE READER: They shouldn't be. Intention and thoughtfulness count for a lot in etiquette, and clearly you are doing your best as a left-handed person in a world built for right-handed ones.

If you get to class first, take the desk. It would be gracious to alternate with the other left-handed students and to work out a plan. Further, Miss Manners sees nothing wrong with taking advantage of whatever unused furniture in the classroom is useful to you -- as long as you relinquish it immediately to anyone who is in greater need.

Second, if it is more comfortable for both you and your dinner companions, by all means request to sit on the left end of the dinner table. (However, if you are attending a formal seated dinner with name cards, please make this request well in advance.) As long as your attitude is not belligerent and defensive, as clearly yours is not, you should certainly feel at ease about politely asserting your rights. Or lefts, as the case may be.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For several decades, I have been a consultant, hired by government agencies, higher education institutions and nonprofits for advice and planning. During the past decade, I've found that many of my clients have lost their manners. I would like to know how to work around this.

For example, one very big client and I had a contract and exchange of emails about the final product. I provided a product that went well beyond our agreement and put in uncompensated hours, but the client decided that she wanted even more, so that she would look fabulous to her granting agency. Because I don't advertise and all my new business comes from word-of-mouth, I had to provide extra flourishes that were never part of our contract in order to make her happy and keep her from speaking ill of me.

Another client decided that he could delay my project for almost a year after the start date in the contract because he just didn't feel ready to let me start. This threw my work for him into the following year when I was working for other clients, causing me to put in months of 18-hour workdays.

There have been several other incidents where clients have completely ignored my needs. How do I get them to be more thoughtful without alienating them and causing bad publicity? I can't simply point to the contract and refuse to budge. It seems so unprofessional to remind them at the signing that I am not a machine.

GENTLE READER: Good manners do not require you to renegotiate a business deal at the whim of every unreasonable client.

The airline that refuses to hold the plane because you are running late is not treating you rudely -- at least not in regard to when they close the doors. But lectures that you should have arrived at the airport earlier would be both rude and, since they are unlikely to be appreciated, bad business.

If you are willing to undertake additional work or modify an agreed-upon schedule, then you are in an ideal position to renegotiate both sides of the deal to suit your needs. Miss Manners only asks that you recognize when driving too hard a bargain will indeed result in bad feelings and possibly also bad publicity.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I often find myself in situations where someone makes a lewd joke that I am uncomfortable with. My natural reaction is one of embarrassment, and I usually look down or divert my gaze. My reaction often worsens the situation because it makes the joke teller feel guilty for making the joke.

What is the best way to let someone know that I don't feel comfortable with lewd jokes, without making the person feel embarrassed herself?

GENTLE READER: Don't laugh.

Dissenting, however politely, will only lead to accusations ranging from humorlessness to stifling free speech. But Miss Manners assure you that a silent stare at the joke teller can do wonders.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)